That’s gonna taste like Ghandi’s flip flop!

I think anyone with brain matter in their cranium would be nervous competing on a show like Masterchef. I mean, just imagine! Your friends and family have always told you that you could be a chef! Your food is that tasty. But you’re stuck in your job squishing boxes at the furniture store. But! Suddenly this grand opportunity comes along on a reality show. And you make the cut! Not only that, but the others are quickly sent home right and left. You find yourself standing at the top six. And my Gordon Ramsay has loved you so far. Heaven! And yet …

I think I’ve pretty much figured out that the above scenario perfectly describes Mike. Since the start of the show, Mike has literally run around like a headless chicken. At first, it looked like he was rushing because he was so sure of his ingredient choice and of what he was doing. Turns out as the weeks passed, he was simply panic stricken.

I’m obviously not saying that Mike wasn’t a good “cuisine-arter.” Anyone who can get through thousands of people down to the final six on a show does not suck. It’s just one day, maybe last week, I looked at him and thought “I know that guy!” He was as familiar as the smell of Fall in the air. And for good reason.

Mike is just as nervous, clumsy, shaky and self-doubting as I can be sometimes. He’s not running full tilt through the kitchen and dropping milk for nothin’! This guy is a serious Nervous Nelly. I so relate.

And it turned out to be the death of him on Masterchef. This week, he just stood out like a blister on your kid’s new pair of school shoes. Running and sliding around the kitchen. Swearing and being unsure. Shaking and quaking. He dug his own grave. His first dish didn’t make it to the final three. In the next challenge, he completely made a rookie mistake by using raw eggs in his trifle. Umm. Everyone knows raw eggs will make people barf. Everyone. Oh, not you? OK. Then, I’m here to tell ya. Raw eggs make people barf.

It’s a lesson, I tell ya. Noooo. The lesson is not to avoid drinking a couple eggs in a glass like Rocky. It’s to not let your nerves blow the opportunity of a lifetime.

Mike was one of my early favorites. He had the chops. But he couldn’t cook them and deliver them to the table. Look. I know times are hard. Believe me, I do. And there is reason to be nervous sometimes. But in order to get through and be the best you can be — you have to take a deep breath and trust in yourself. Then if you fail, you did your best. If you succeed, you end up winning 250K and getting to hug Gordon Ramsay! And then maybe working at one of his restaurants and becoming his close personal friend. Eventually, he’ll end up cooking you lobster on a beach and …

What? Where’s the second half of my review? Um, it’s here somewhere! I’m trusting myself to find it and get it to you ASAP. And as for my headline? It’s another jewel from the mouth of You Know Who.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Sep 09, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT