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White Collar – Neal needs to do another auction just to save face

The "Draw me!" line was crazy corny, but in great 'White Collar' tradition, the scene in Neal's apartment was done brilliantly. Neal, hiding in the observation room, sketched the Widow and snuck the picture out to Peter. I loved his inclusion of the engagement ring!

- Season 3, Episode 5 - "Veiled Threat"

I don’t know about you, but I don’t find myself having more time just because it’s summer … it’s an illusion stemming from our days in school that makes us think that summer is down time.

Nevertheless, if you do find yourself with free time over the next few weeks, here’s an assignment that you might want to get started on: research just what types of cases the white collar crime unit of the FBI has jurisdiction over. A Black Widow coming to town? Come on!

Nevertheless, looking past jurisdiction I loved how the case of the Black Widow on White Collar called for Peter, Jonesy, and Neal to go undercover. Hell, even Diana got in on the fun!

I would have thought Jonesy’s persona easy to poke holes in — a wealthy pastry baron from Brooklyn would have a lot more local information than Jonesy might. That being said, I loved his approach: woo them all, and get a good word-of-mouth going. It would have been so much fun for his “buyer” to have been some sort of crazy with lots of humor to bring to the episode. I wonder why his part fizzled once the auction was over.

Neal’s philosophy was rather anti-Neal; I can’t see him thinking it a good idea to insult the ladies no matter what his main objective. With anyone else I would have felt badly when no one bid, but Neal could stand to strike out once … it’s not likely to happen to him much in life. I love that Diana ended up pity-buying him!

It was a shame that Mozzie wasn’t involved. I imagined an old lady buying him for big bucks and then chasing after him for an hour trying to squeeze some part of his body. But as Haversham, Peter’s “man,” Mozzie was awesome. I loved how he got fifty dollars out of Peter at the end! And his entrance was phenomenal: “Do yourself a favor — never try to send a grappling hook through the post office.”

I actually think the weakest part was Peter “winning” the Widow as his date. I’m not going to argue that Peter can’t attract women, but I don’t think he had the opportunity to play his “aw, shucks” game long enough for it to have worked. Plus, forgive me, but if his losing would have meant we didn’t have to deal with Elizabeth I would have much preferred it. I like her these days, but I didn’t find Peter playing the third bachelor being worth the angst that it put Elizabeth — and thereby us — through. Maybe it could have been cute, but I found it annoying.

On the other hand, Elizabeth standing in as their wedding planner was fun, but I think the effect could have been achieved almost as well with Neal as the groom. Using Peter wasn’t worth it.

Jonathan Silverman appeared in Greek’s final season as the “bad guy,” and it’s a suit that doesn’t fit him well. As the villain Jameson he was a huge misfit … his cute, wide grin doesn’t make the fiercest of impressions. One question, though: was it just about the money for Jameson, or was the Widow his love as well?

I’m still very much not enjoying Sara, but there was one good thing (said) about her last night: Diana calling her Insurance Investigator Barbie. Awesome!

So seriously, who’s on that homework assignment?

White Collar Ferris Bueller? Really? [41lA9%2BufLlL. SL160 ] (IMAGE)White Collar Ferris Bueller? Really? [51iFcD4D3IL. SL160 ] (IMAGE)

Photo Credit: USA Network

3 Responses to “White Collar – Neal needs to do another auction just to save face”

July 8, 2011 at 8:12 PM

I think you misunderstood the game. :)

But, if I must — does a stalking, possibly murdering Black Widow fall under any definition of the many variations of fraud? Because if not … no jurisdiction!

July 8, 2011 at 9:07 PM

Once they got to the part about multiple fake charities and connections to the bachelor auctions that makes more sense for the white collar division but that was well into the investigation. Regular black widow murder for money? Sounds like a stretch.

“She’s not collecting on any of the insurance payoffs.” Wouldn’t they check to see who the beneficiary of their money was? That would’ve led to the fake charities and the investigation would make the connections to the bachelor auctions around the world under different names. It wasn’t hard to have it make a little bit of sense.

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