Role call on MasterChef

What (“Amazing! Phenomenal!”*) fudgery this evening on MasterChef.

Let me tell you something: If you’re going to act like an asshat and strut your stuff like it don’t stink, you better prove you can wear them britches for the duration, Bobo. And that’s exactly what Gloucester, MA native Christian Collins did — he acted just like an (“Amazing! Phenomenal!”*) asshat by feeding lip instead of food. Oh … he can fill the britches all right, but Karma came ’round the kitchen and bit him in the backside during the lobster challenge. Then, he got called out for not only acting like a big baby, but for not paying attention while other contestants were being judged. And by no less than “Icy Stare” Joe of all people! Score one for Karma!

The kicker of the challenge was whiny, sometimes unpredictable Jennifer Behm who caught the bouquet in coddling her lobster to the point of perfection. (It wouldn’t be the only thing she’d be coddling this episode.) The judges were all over her dish … and in a good way. (“Amazing! Phenomenal!”*) And, much as I don’t really like her that much, I do have to tip my hat to her for stepping up to the plate and not taking the easy road into The Top 10 by resting on her laurels. She confidently set up shop along with the other eleven contestants to move forward with the truffle elimination portion and cook with the rest of her fellow knife wielders rather than sit back and sip champagne, confident in the knowledge she was Top 10 material. Bravo.

But here comes ‘ole Karma again, sticking its neck out to mess up the race. This time, Karma landed Jennifer in the Bottom 3 during the elimination challenge when her coddled eggs and chocolate truffle (never did understand the attraction of coddled eggs) turned out more like slimy goo than sexy goodness. Jennifer — along with Erryn Cobb and Adrian Nieto — bellied up to be derided by the trio of hosts.

Now … here’s where the fun got going for me. Once Jennifer received her reprieve (*whew* for her!), Gordon issued another challenge to Erryn and Adrian: Who was going to have Rocky Mountain Oysters enough to step forward and admit to the worst dish of the night?

There was hesitation on both the guys’ parts and I’m pretty certain I was breathless during this tense little exchange. Both of them knew their dishes failed on several levels — Erryn’s was just a mess and Adrian’s looked as if he’d garnished his steak with a frame of regurgitation. But who was going to bite the bullet?

It took steely resolve for Erryn to finally blink. He walked up to Gordon, Graham and Joe and passed his apron to them in defeat. Dude called himself out! Neat-o! (“Amazing! Phenomenal!”*) Again, I tip my hat in his direction for his bold, apt admittance.

This night, it wasn’t just a cooking competition. It was a matter of a couple contestants digging deep and pulling up the realization that winning isn’t everything. They way they did it got me to dig the cut of both their jibs.

Michael’s Question Of The Day: See that image above? It’s coddled egg in a pipkin, something similar to what Jennifer concocted in one of the challenges. Would you eat that? I didn’t think so. Neither would I.

Quotation: “This is a catagorical abomination.” — Joe Bastianich to Adrian on presentation of his dish during the truffle challenge

* (“Amazing! Phenomenal!”): Gordon must have exclaimed “Amazing!” and “Phenomenal!” umpteen times each this episode. This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. I thought I would try them out to see how they worked for me. I’m less than impressed, I’m not amazed, they aren’t that phenomenal.

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Jul 19, 2011 @ 10:05 EST5EDT