MasterChef – Souffles of excellence

It’s a post-apocalyptic world where, for reasons unknown, kids rule, there’s nary an adult to be seen anywhere, and the machines do all the dirty work.

It’s a bright, sunny, average anywhere-kind-of-day. The streets are silent and nothing is moving. But a din is rising somewhere … you can hear it … you can feel it. Where is it coming from? Over there … right there. You turn and look in its direction. Its dull hum coagulates into something more concrete and, quickly, you realize it’s become the shouts and yells and noise of kids. Suddenly, over the rise, you see them. They come at you like a pack of wild hyenas … vicious, unrelenting, ravenous.

That’s what we saw in the opening of MasterChef last evening. A swarm of kids, coming right at you from out of your television screen. (Well … except for the post-apocalyptic part. And the reasons unknown. And there were adults, but there weren’t any machines. Yes … I know. I think weird. Get off me.)

Team leaders Christian and Christina had to quickly put menus together for 200 hungry kids, Christian going with turkey slider sandwiches as a main item along with apple sticks and caramel dipping sauce, Christine going with (inexplicably) chicken nugget burgers and corn fritters. (Really? Chicken nugget “burgers” … ??? Really? Corn fritters for kids? Interesting …) These kids were both teams’ challenge, to satisfy them to the point where votes were cast for the best dishes. You see, the kids are not only the challenge; they’re the judges in this little competition.

Christina’s team takes it from Christian in the end. Bad news for Christian, Derrick, Adrien, and Jennifer because they’re the ones who move on to the oh-s0-fun-filled pressure test.

And what is that pressure test? Eggs. Freakin’ eggs again. The building blocks of many dishes. And, in this case, souffles to be exact. Cheesy, airy, difficult-to-prepare souffles. “It’s the dish that puts the fear of God in chefs around the world,” Gordon states.

From the outset, Christian called himself (being the team leader of the above challenge) and Jennifer out to go up in the pressure test. Only seemed right. One of the few times I saw him “honorable” and not acting like a complete and total asshat. But ultimately it was the entire losing team — Derrick and Adrien included — that was committed to the task.

And, of course, that little honorable mention I tipped at Christian degraded into disgust when his over-the-top pride and douchiness came through once more mere minutes later. (Look up “ass” in the dictionary and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a picture of Christian right there alongside the word. In glorious sepia tone.) And you know what? It doesn’t help Christian’s ego any when Joe Bastianich pulls a “I think a lot of your competition are looking at you as the one to beat” comment out of the air for the dude to bask in.

Believe me or don’t, but I had an inkling this particular competition would be vastly different than all the rest. And it was. There were indicators it would be: Christian and his cocksuredness in not only NOT cooking his souffle roux (!!!) but offering his first souffle up for the judges to judge; Derrick taking a safer route and cranking his recipe up because it could use it, surrendering his second souffle attempt and not his first. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Jennifer’s souffle is up first for judging. The judges are emotionless and not commenting. She passes. As does Derrick’s second effort.

And then, with Adrien and Christian up, this is where I saw the writing on the wall. I said to myself: “They’re both going to whisk their ways through this challenge.” And damn if that didn’t happen. All the souffles were of such exacting quality the judges couldn’t in good conscience send anyone off to the wild blue yonder. Bully! Drama!

Will two go tonight because of this episode’s save? I’m betting the house on it.

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Aug 02, 2011 @ 15:37 EST5EDT