I am a lover of words.
And here in the plush and cushy digs of the CliqueClack seaside offices, each one of us is granted the privilege of wordifying (in between the free-flowing Mai Tais) to our heart’s content.
Words are wonderful. They’re expressive … depressing … anxious … anticipatory … revealing … exciting … inspiring … woeful. And so much more.
I have many uses for words; I’ve learned a lot about them over the course of my life … and I still have tons more to absorb. Matter’n fact, I even have rules about words. One is I’m a big believer in that there is no such thing as a bad word — just inappropriate times to use particular words.
But … I digress.
The point of this post is the use of the English language and what it’s become in some respects. You see … I don’t quite understand the use of certain acronyms to describe words. For example: I don’t LOL, I “laugh my ass off” … and I give it all the due respect it deserves by spelling it out, not acronymating it. In so hacking it to a few mere letters, I believe those who do so demean the true flavor and spirit of such phrases. I mean … it’s the glorious English language with all its vagaries and interpretations and synonymic meaning, for Pete’s sake! It’s not going to shorten your life in the least to spell out “for what it’s worth” in long form as opposed to unceremoniously axing the words into a convenient quadracroym! I promise! (And yes … I feel the exact same way about emoticons. I reject them totally.)
The same goes when it comes to television shows. The other day an e-mail came over to our CliqueClack group stating “SOA screeners are available.” I wracked my brain. “SOA? What the hell is SOA?” I’m a writer for a television review site — one would think I would know what “SOA” stands for.
But … I didn’t.
I huffed. I puffed. I thought. I strained. I struggled. And then I painfully thought some more … to no avail whatsoever. I finally googled the damned thing. The first item that came up in the search? Of course: Sons Of Anarchy. Duh.
But, I’ve gotten used to it. Even I’m guilty of shortening television programs in a curt couple letters. “You are what you eat” … you know?
And then came early morning yesterday. In a haze of sleep shortly before 5:00 am, I saw my Droid blinking at me, indicating I had some sort of message to take a look at, most likely an incoming e-mail or two. I accessed my messages and found one of them from the CliqueClack gang entitled “Favorite ‘ships.” Technically still asleep, I began reading the e-mail … and was thoroughly confused. It seems Carla was putting together a post on current television relationships (the aforementioned “ships”) and was looking for some additional nominations. It took me a while to wade through my befuddlement and the many responses before I finally got the gist of what was being discussed: she was looking for “television relationships” for a new poll. So that’s what “ships” meant! Still, it didn’t stop me from nominating the Pacific Princess (The Love Boat) to the list … as opposed to a “ship” pairing such as Wilfred and Ryan from FX’s Wilfred. Silly me. (To be fair, Keith was as confused as I was, willing to pull out a few of his favorite science fiction vehicles to nominate.)
So, my natural question is this: When — in the course of the English language — did the word “relationships” get shortened and replaced with “ships” … ??? Is it some sort of new-fangled Newspeak from 1984? Is it prophecy come true from Devo and their tenets of de-evolution? Did I not get the memo? Or am I simply out of touch, being the token black sheep in the CliqueClack family of writers?
It matters not. In my book, a ship is nothing more than an over-sized boat … and I’m still a lover of words.
And besides … the fall season approaches. Come on guys, we have work to do.
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on Aug 26, 2011 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
ships are always ships that’s the reasoning behind rule 34 existing
You know those damned kids who won’t stay off your damned lawn? It’s them.
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I am immensely happy I wasn’t drinking anything when I read your comment, Tom.
Had I been, I would have spewed all over my computer, ruining it and resulting in an invoice for a new laptop on its way to you.
I’m glad I could cause you involuntary spasms, but equally glad your mouth was empty at the time.
On the topic, here are a few I’ve learned from my teenagers. There are plenty more, but my brain rejects them due to the outright trauma the butchering of the language causes.
rents – parents
vaca – vacation
totes – totally
So you end up seeing stuff like, “OMG I totes wanna vaca w/o the rents FTW!”
It makes me rethink my decision to pay for private school all these years. I could’ve been drunk on a cruise ship on several occasions instead of forking over copious amounts of money so my kids could become destroyers of language.
The worst part is it’s not like they’re saving money on typesetting a printing press, but I’m afraid it’s a trend that won’t stop. For example, you mentioned a “memo” above which is short for “memorandum,” and who says that any more? Fax/Facsimile. Drive-Thru/Drive-Through. Donut/Doughnut. (That last one gets my goat…and I’m quite fond of my goat.)
*POST AUTHOR*
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Tom:
I have a teen-aged daughter who just started high school this week. I am intimately familiar with “rents” and “vaca” … but yours is the first instance I’ve seen (or heard of) “totes”. I understand and sympathize with your “cruise ship wishes”, but you know – as well as anybody – you can only impart what you can impart and let the free unto the world. I call this the “Enough Shit On The Wall” theory which I’m sure you’re familiar with; throw enough shit on the wall, some of it’s bound to stick. As parents, it’s about the best we can hope for when we set them free.
And cripes if you didn’t inadvertently call me on one of my own butcherings so rampantly common I even forgot about it: “memo/memorandum”. (I use “facsimile” in writing all the time.)
And “doughnut”? Well … I’m guilty of flubbing that up here (https://clak.us/t2cwv) – got it right in the body of the post, but inexplicably muffed it up in the title and excerpt.
Go figger …
Michael, with teenagers you really have to keep up with the little shortcuts or risk losing them to another language altogether. Unfortunately, in doing so we inevitably end up using some of them ourselves. It’s some of that “shit” you mentioned earlier only it’s the little buggers flinging it at us and eventually some of it sticks. It can’t be helped…
*POST AUTHOR*
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Well … I disagree with you there, Tom …
In cases like that, where the shit gets thrown back at us, I resort to wit and wisdom of good ‘ole Bill Cosby:
“Listen: I brought you into this world … I can take you right back out …”
Oh I completely agree and have used that Cosby line many times. I only meant that when you’re around the kids’ shortcuts and slang long enough some of it is bound to rub off on you. I see their constant Facebook chatter and sometimes have to resort to Google to get what the heck they’re talking about.
I’m still in the dark about a text my college-aged daughter sent me the other day. She said she’d explain it when I saw her (apparently texting an explanation is too much effort) so hopefully I’ll learn what, “reg rat ftw!” means when I see her tomorrow.
I’m not sure I want to know. It probably has something to do with too much vodka.
I can’t believe I forgot the most obvious example: TV!
O lover of words, here’s a little something I discovered today – enjoy!
https://www.savethewords.org
This is tangent but, all those save the words reminded me of a true cowpuncher story I read.
One schooled cowpuncher in the late 1800’s said to an unschooled cowpuncher, “I happen to know that you “slumber” in your bedroll at night! The unschooled cowpuncher, being mightily offended at the percieved insult shot the schooled cowpuncher.
For some reason I was really amused when I read it. :)
That’s like an old-west version of something we used to do in elementary school. One kid would go up to another, point at that kid and say, “Your epidermis is showing!” which usually led to the victim checking his zipper.
Fortunately guns weren’t allowed in school, only knives, which have a much shorter range.
I do remember when EVERYONE had knives! Almost no one was ever hurt by them!
We brought our pocket knives to school every day. It was as much an essential part of our belongings as pens & pencils. And the only time I remember anyone getting hurt by a knife was when they accidentally hurt themselves, which was very rare. Nobody even thought of fighting with knives.
We’ve become such sissies that our teenagers can barely cut their own steak at dinner, but allow those same teenagers to play in any cultural sewer. *heavy sigh*
*POST AUTHOR*
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Ruby … ???
Love it.
Tom, did the kids in your school ever ask if you masticated your horny extensions? That was apparently popular in the Christmas Story era of Chicago. [Wonder if I can get that past the “inappropriate in this setting” word filter.]
About 12 years ago I did a college paper on whether the shortcuts used in license plates would ever become dictionary words. I would have never believed the instructor who assigned that could now be see as “forward thinking”. [Giggling In Near Silence]
I had forgotten about “masticating” until you brought it up! That was a very popular one in my elementary school and often got the speaker in trouble when a teacher overheard, but didn’t *quite* hear clearly enough.
*POST AUTHOR*
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“About 12 years ago I did a college paper on whether the shortcuts used in license plates would ever become dictionary words.”
Pretty eye-opening, isn’t it Nyela … ??>