Quotation Marks – The Middle, Suburgatory and The Secret Circle

Welcome back, Clackers! Quotation Marks took a couple of weeks off as we celebrated the holidays with a two week long bash that Michael Noble is still recovering from; also there was like no new television for way too long. Now that things are getting back on track in the new year, you’ll find quotes from this past week as well as a couple collected during the hiatus. Did we miss one of your favorite quotes? Be sure to share it in the comments!

The Middle (Review)

“Are we really so lazy that none of us can think of a single thing we can improve on?” – Frankie
“Sorry Mom; I don’t need to do anything better. I can think of a lot of things the rest of you need to do better, though.” – Axl

“I won’t let you down.” – Sue, referring to the Wrestlerettes
“That wouldn’t be possible.” – Brad’s wrestling coach

“Uhhh, this is just so hard, I’ve never been on the other side before. It’s like, Mary has a super-loud clap, Becky has the “it” factor, Ruth can sort of do a cartwheel, and Weird Ashley has a car for away meets. I just had no idea the talent pool would be so deep. What am I gonna do?” – Sue, on picking members for the Wrestlerettes

“Axl, you’re in high school now; have you finally learned the different spellings of their, they’re, and there?” – Axl’s fifth grade teacher
“I can almost guarantee it.” – Axl

“Brick!” – Frankie
“Mom, you’re back!” – Brick
“Of course I’m back. You didn’t think I wouldn’t come back for you, did you?” – Frankie
“Well, I didn’t think you would leave me in the first place, so clearly I’m not that good of a judge.” – Brick

Suburgatory

 “Tessa, you remind me of Tyler Perry right now. You’re joking but you’re not funny.” – Dalia

The Secret Circle (Review)

“Girls don’t tell their fathers these things, Charles.” – Kate, providing advice that teenage me wouldn’t agree with

“You think I’m trying to poison your mother?” – Dawn
“Based on the fact that a few hours ago you suggested killing her? Yes.” – Charles

“We need help with a spell.” – Melissa
“Want to setup the mean girls to set their boyfriends on fire?” – Lee
“No, smartass … we are the mean girls.” – Faye 

“That sounds like a really bad idea.” – Melissa
“Melissa, here’s what you have to understand. Some things can be really bad and really good at the same time!” – Faye

How I Met Your Mother (Review) 

“Lily, don’t you think it’s a bit narcissistic not to allow for something bigger than us out there? Something whose beautify and power and majesty humbles us?” – Marshall
“God?” – Lily
“Werewolves?!?” – Marshall

“Uh, dude, I don’t know where you got a velvet rope, but you can’t use my room for anonymous sex. I’m kind of a neat freak that way.” – Ted

“I’ve always wanted to be a bartender. It’s just like being therapist: you listen to people’s problems, pretend to care, but you can drink openly instead of having to hide your booze in a coffee mug.” – Kevin

“I don’t know where I went wrong!” – Sandy
“Well proposing the three-way was bad; starting without us was worse. Finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.” – Robin

“Hey, Marvin, could you pass me a burger. Not Marvin, Marshall; sorry, it’s just you’re so much like your Pop.” – Friend at Marshall’s tailgate

Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable 

“He’s got a fire and a pig roasting over that fire.” – Dan on Andy Reid’s supposed ‘fire’

“They look like a band out of Portland … if the bassist was huge.” – Dan watching a clip of the Michigan football post-bowl game conference

“Is there an exit ramp between those two things?” – Dan after being asked if Packers backup QB Matt Flynn is the next Aaron Rodgers or Kevin Kolb

The Biggest Loser

“I don’t know if I wanted to hit him or say thank you.” – Contestant on Trainer Dolvett

“Unless I see your dinner come up, you ain’t puking.” -Bob the Trainer

“He actually is an evil man.” – Contestant on Trainer Bob

Excused

“Next time they draw your eyebrows on in prison, ask them to make you look happier. You’re excused.” — Iliza Shlesinger

The Voice: What You Haven’t Heard

“Vicci [Martinez]’s and Cee Lo [Green]’s ‘Love Is A Battlefield’ was the apocalypse.” – Adam Levine

“I hope whoever’s life I’m in doesn’t come back and ask for their life back.” – Javier Colon

“Cee Lo is completely full of crap. You know it, I know it.” – Blake Shelton

Terra Nova (Review)

“We’ll survive … but first, let’s kick some ass …” — Taylor to Shannon regarding their future* (*And, quite possibly, the future of Terra Nova)