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MusiClack – Songs we never want to see on American Idol again

Certain tunes out there get under our skin. Additionally, a few incessantly continue to make the rounds causing us to want to watch paint dry rather than be subjected to them yet again.

Michael: When it comes to music, we all have our likes and dislikes. “Likes” include those toe-tappers … the tunes that make your heart swell with happiness … the ones which make us want to shout out loud in joyful abandon.

Then, there’re the ones that really get to you … and not in a good way. The ones that make you want to throw something at your radio. The ones that make your face grimace and cause you to violently switch the station or turn it off all together because you Just! Can’t! Stand! Them!

Well … several of those songs have been making the rounds lately and we’re going to parade a few of them below for you to cringe or crow about.

Not-so-coincidentally, these tunes have been featured on American Idol of late, the first two rather recently … just last week as a matter of fact. So Tara and I have decided to subject ourselves to them to see what we could see.

I started out with Michael Bublé’s “Feeling Good” because I absolutely hate it …

Michael: It’s smarmy, hokey and gag-worthy. The lyrics to it are laughable. When I first heard this tune, I thought some of the first few lyrics included “Grease driftin’ on by … you know how I feel …” (What … ?!?) And then I saw the video … which made the song even worse for me.

Bublé talks about birds and breezes and fish and rivers and tree blossoms supposedly knowing how he feels. It’s as if he’s the center of the damned universe! Is this how I’m supposed to interpret this song? Deep down, I know it’s not. And even if it isn’t, I can’t get over the toxic spill of grease “drifting on by.” *snort*

And then, it appeared on an American Idol audition episode last week which just about made me crawl up the wall. The bottom line? I doubt I will ever understand the attraction to Michael Bublé and I don’t believe I ever will, let alone comprehend why anyone would use it to showcase their talents.

Tara: You’re crazy. (But we all knew that.) Michael Bublé is quite dreamy, in my humble opinion. And! For those of us who dig Frank and Dean and Sammy and their ilk, he’s like a modern day marvel.

Michael: “A modern day marvel” … ?!?? Wait … wait. You did read what I said above … right?

Tara: Yes, I did. That’s my job as your writing partner. You’re just wrong, is all. That song is fantastic, and he gives it all he has. The orchestration is great, the lyrics (which do not in any way include grease) are swoony. What’s not to like? I bet the majority of our seventeen loyal readers will agree with me.

Michael: Look … I’ll concede to the orchestration. But the words? He’s delusional. The voices in his head are at work there … not his.

“What’s not to like?” I’ll tell you what’s not to like: Check out the video. Take a gander at the psycho killer hairy eyeballs he shoots the viewer! It’s creepy as all get out!

Tara: Clowns, Oprah … and now Michael Bublé scares you?

Michael: Yes. For the reasons I’ve noted above. Guess we’re just going to have to agree to disagree on “Feeling Good.”

Tara: Agreeing to disagree? Huh. Do we have any experience in that? *snarfle*

Tara: Now this here? Is a hateful mess of crap song, that if given the choice? I would gleefully stick knitting needles in my eyeballs if you just promised me I’d never have to hear it again.

Michael: I don’t really have any vehement loathing toward this song, but it’s definitely not on my hit parade, either. I haven’t ever actively sought it out. But seriously: Knitting needles, Tara? Wouldn’t it just be easier to turn it off?

Tara: I am simply trying to convey through over-the-top sarcasm my … oh forget it.

Michael: So … tell me: Why the hatred for this song? Too diva-ish? You simply hate Whitney? Envious? What?

Tara: First of all? The lyrics just boil my blood. I mean, how insecure is this chick? Does she have no pride at all? Geez. “If I stay, I’ll only get in your way” and suchmuch.  She should take a seminar or do some Pilates or lift weights or take up shooting or something. Imbecile.

Michael: Really? Lifting weights or cooking pilates will gain her self confidence?

Tara: Shut up Michael, I’m not done. Secondly? Pure caterwauling! My eardrums exploded after the sax solo. Who likes this kind of screamation coming at them, I ask you? Idol (although I love it) has been the biggest instigator of bringing these kind of loud ass Divas into contemporary music, when I was just settling down into my nice happy place and thinking I lost them for good back in the late eighties. Drat!

Michael: I’m not so certain I would be blaming Idol … though it has taken a spin over there quite a few times. The contestants, for the most part, are the ones who bring this type of song on themselves more than the judges or the show. If they think they have the cojones to perform something as grand as this, that’s their business. But usually they crash and burn in the attempt. It’s just too big for them.

Tara: I realize the contestants choose the songs. I ain’t dumb. I’m merely pointing out that they’ve given us the likes of Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Clarkson and … fill in the blank. Who I can live without. I want and need them to stop yelling at me. Do you see Michael Bublé yelling?? Huh??

Michael: I prefer to see Clown Boy Bublé not at all, thank you very much. And! He doesn’t yell, from what little I hear of him. So … moot point.

Tara: Hello? I just made my point! Right up there!

Michael: Gotcha.

So … the count is this: One each. I hate Bublé, you don’t. You loathe Houston, I don’t have a problem with her song.

Let’s see what the next one holds for us …

Michael: Here’s my deal with this tune — I enjoy it. And I enjoy many versions of “Hallelujah” as well, Leonard Cohen’s being my most favorite take on it. It gets a regular spin around Christmastime regardless of the fact it’s not a Christmastime offering in the traditional sense. My copy of it resides on a compilation in my personal collection of music — Starbuck’s “Hi-Fidelity Holiday” (purchase it below!) — which gets pulled every holiday.

Now … talk about a song that’s been done to death. “Hallelujah” has been committed time and time again on Idol. (One of the more notable performances, and a far inferior one, was sung by season 7 contestant Jason Castro.) Still, I don’t tire of it as easily as some people do.

Tara: I hate to admit this as it sounds like I’m a cruel person. But I have just never liked this song. It’s a snoozer. While being completely over the top at the same time. If that makes any sense.

And it was oh so nice to see Kara DiWhatever again and to feel the relief of not having to look at her sneering face anymore. Huh. I sound cranky today, don’t I?

Michael: “Over the top” … ?!? Really? And Bublé isn’t over the top … ?!???!?

Tara: Yes, he most definitely is! But in the suavest way possible. So there.

Michael: Faux suave. With creepy eyes. He’s “American Psycho” killer with his look. I don’t see him channeling Sinatra. Or Martin. Period.

Tara: It’s impossible for anyone to come even close to Sinatra. (Or Dean when he wasn’t completely wasted.)

Michael: You were the one who said, “For those of us who dig Frank and Dean and Sammy and their ilk, he’s like a modern day marvel.”

Tara: Oh we could go round and round.

Michael: We could. And where would it end? I think we might just need to revisit this little subject down the line.

 

 

Photo Credit: the-tune.net

13 Responses to “MusiClack – Songs we never want to see on American Idol again”

January 27, 2012 at 12:15 PM

You hate “Feelin’ Good?”

What, are you not a person or something??

January 27, 2012 at 12:18 PM

. . . . .

JAR … !!!

January 27, 2012 at 12:20 PM

Personally I love “Feeling Good” ties to one of my favorite under-appreciated shows:

January 27, 2012 at 1:14 PM

Two words: Nina. Simone.

January 28, 2012 at 11:44 AM

. . . . .

Bobba-Looga:

Being someone who knows too much about music for his own good (another story entirely) but someone who falls prey to stumbling over common sense as opposed to using it, I have to kick myself a bit for leaving out the great Nina Simone from the post and making it appear as if I was under the assumption Bublé’s was the first to have ever recorded “Feeling Good.” Far be that from the case as I well know.

Along with Johnny Cash, a heapin’ helpin’ of country western (the good stuff, not most of the schlock of the recent past 20-30 years), plenty of lounge and more, Nina was a staple around my house on Saturday cleaning days in the late 60’s and early 70’s. Mom used to fire up the turntable on the ‘ole monster console and spin her tunes right alongside Patsy Cline and whatever Neil Sedaka had written at the time. I’m well versed in Nina. While “Feeling Good” is a familiar piece, I came to appreciate it that much more when it was used as the Six Feet Under promo years ago.

What I don’t appreciate is Clown Boy’s take. The post wasn’t supposed to be a masterclass about who recorded what first, but about a couple songs which have made the rounds a bit too much on Ivey’s 2nd favorite program ever, my premiere gripe being the brief tirade on Bublé’s interpretation and video of the song … which I still maintain as gag-worthy.

(And by the way, I think Muse’s version is pretty damned good, too.)

January 28, 2012 at 2:48 PM

1) Jar.
2) Listened to enough of the Muse version to make me sick. It took less than 3 seconds.
3) Jar.
4) 2nd favorite show? that and “Clown Boy” were the best digs you could manage?
5) jar.

January 27, 2012 at 12:29 PM

And Tara doesn’t like Hallelujah? What are you, like not a person or something?

January 28, 2012 at 12:11 AM

Ivey! Shh. You’re on to me. I’m actually a cyborg, sent here to suck out the brains of Earthlings. If you don’t tell anyone? You will not be next.

January 27, 2012 at 2:29 PM

First of all, there is nothing wrong with Bubble’s “Feeling Good” video … if you like old 007 movie openings. Oops! I don’t. It is much easier to listen to than to watch, but I’d rather hear old Sinatra, Martin, or even Davis instead.

As far as Whitney, the first time I heard this song I was spellbound by the control of the note spinning. The singer within me dreams of being able to do something like this on the edge of the Grand Canyon … or a really big empty Gothic cathedral. Ditch the lyrics, and even the sax, and let her show off the power of her beautiful well-tuned instrument. And definitely, I mean definitely, never let another contestant on American Idol attempt it ever again. This is a self-indulgent Master class rendition of how a song should be sung that needs to be retired in Whitney’s honor.

Hallelujah, on the other hand, would be my number one song for having all American Idol contestants required to sing in preliminary auditions before earning a spot in front of the judges. [Followed quickly by America the Beautiful, the National Anthem, Amazing Grace, and O Holy Night.] Rarely does a Pop song today provide the challenge of this song. It is a technically difficult song with a warped kink in the lyrics. What a performer does with this reflects what they can, and, as in the case of at least one contestant this season, what they can not do. Jason Castro almost showed that; Lee DeWyze definitely did.

But not one of these songs comes close to generating in me the revulsion I feel even thinking about “Feelings”, “Games People Play”, or “Achy-Breaky Heart”. Fortunately, Idol contestants are too young to remember those tunes on the Top 40 playlist. That was the bad old days when you wanted the knitting needles in the ears, not the eyes!

January 28, 2012 at 11:52 AM

. . . . .

Nyela:

I’m almost right there with you on your take about Houston. But … it’s so much fun seeing people who think they can take on “I Will Always Love You” and, instead, crash and burn.

And … what an interesting idea about “Hallelujah”: Requiring hopefuls to give that a go as a preliminary audition. As good an idea as that might be, it would weed out possibles who might be frightening with their grasp of it opposed to what their strengths may be. Still … interesting idea.

January 27, 2012 at 3:26 PM

Personally, I love the song “Feeling Good” but not the “new” Bublé version but the “old” Nina Simone version (which was used in a promo for “Six Feet Under” for Season 4 – when they were all wandering around a supermarket – after I saw the promo, I fell in love with the song) – she recorded it back in 1965. Her’s is a smoother, sexier version. You can understand clearly in her version that it’s “Breeze drifting on by” not “Grease.”

January 28, 2012 at 11:56 AM

. . . . .

G:

I remember hearing Bublé’s version and I distinctly remember paying close attention to it that first spin. That’s one of the things cried out to me, the “grease driftin’ on by” sounding lyric.

Made me cringe.

January 28, 2012 at 11:45 PM

I get tired of the Whitney version of I will always love you. Tara watch “Greatest Little Whore House in Texas” and you will understand “If I should stay” part of the song. The song is and always will be Dolly Parton’s. Whitney lovers shut up.

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