The Middle – Sue’s totally going to be one of those poor knocked up teens

You’ve got to love spending holidays with the Hecks. The show perfectly emulates the family’s low-key nature, and holidays are celebrated without the spectacle that so many other series turn them into. I, for one, appreciate that.

For starters, I love how Valentine’s Day marks the official end of Christmas for the Hecks. That tree needed to be tossed weeks ago, but no, tradition is tradition. Good for them. And it wouldn’t be a romantic Heck holiday without talk of celebrating it in sweats, with a bucket of chicken, in separate rooms. I actually think going to dinner with friends was the antithesis of a Heck family holiday.

Axl and Brick had minor stories of their own last night, but they did great both with their own plots and in support of everyone else’s. Brick had to write a paper on love; Frankie’s advice was priceless (see below), while I loved how Brick told Sue that “I prefer not to yell like mom does” but “if I have to I will go there” when he needed the computer. Brick’s line to Frankie when he was calling the family together to read his paper aloud — “In the interest of not showing favoritism, you could be a little more enthusiastic” — was awesome.

Axl, meanwhile, had to write a paper about a life-changing experience. I suppose when the assignment is thirty percent of your grade, or more than half, you take it seriously. His first attempt was a bust … I think Axl realized that his story about wondering “Am I not hot?” wasn’t exactly what his teacher was looking for. Enjoy summer school indeed.

Instead, he turned a video camera on his “dying” brother … I agree with Brick that it would be the not knowing AND the dying that would be the hardest parts about the disease. It’s a good thing that Brick had a supply of Tums, Flintstones vitamins, Gas-X, Midol, Pepto-Bismol, and BenGay on-hand to help him through the tough times. It’s just too bad that Brick didn’t get into the Mayonnaise Clinic off the bat … maybe they sensed Frankie’s deep denial and were keeping him on the waiting list because of that.

And then there was Sue. I’m sorry, but Frankie seriously needs to have a talk with her, because just imagine how easy it would be for a guy to convince her to sleep with him, without her realizing that that was having sex. Is France even known for having a lot of rainbows?

At the same time, Sue’s reaction to Matt’s “bad” kissing was hilarious. I love how she felt bad for him for turning into the world’s worst kisser after he put his tongue in her mouth. Her wondering “What place does a tongue have in kissing?” would have been the perfect place for Frankie to interject, but then I guess KickinItTeenStyle.com might do a better job of raising Sue anyway. The choices for how to tell your boyfriend he’s a bad kisser were great: a) Say, “Ew no!” b) Offer him a pamphlet on kissing to peruse, or c) Tell him you want to take a break and get some froyo. Awesome.

It was Sue’s second time complaining to Frankie that was priceless. It’s almost like he’s doing it on purpose? It’s so mean, who would like that? Hilarious! And how funny was Sue when she told Matt that she’s just an American girl and just wants to kiss American? I vomited a little when Matt told Sue that her braces were ripping his tongue to shreds, but what are you going to do?

I guess if you’re Matt, who’s a wrestler, you’ll fight through it. If you’re Mike and Frankie … well, if you don’t want to become grandparents in the next year or two, maybe sit down with your kid and talk about sex. Just a thought.

“I’m ten; I don’t know anything about love.” – Brick
“Well, that’s what the Internet’s for. Just get on it, type in love, and see what comes up … you know what? Never mind.” – Frankie

“People who meet me have the life-changing event cause of my awesomeness, but I can’t very well meet myself, now can I.” – Axl

“We’re not rich enough to travel, we’re not poor enough to live out of our car. Mom’s not on the Internet stripping for money, and Dad doesn’t get drunk and beat anyone.” – Axl
“Not yet.” – Mike

“Oh, come on Sue. There are two girls that are pregnant in your class right now. You never heard of French kissing?” – Frankie
“Whoa, wait a minute. That’s French kissing?” – Sue
“Yeah. What did you think it was?” – Frankie
“I thought it was kissing during a rainbow.” – Sue

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Feb 09, 2012 @ 15:46 EST5EDT