Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? – Quibbling Siblings

Bob:

In honor of the second season of The Walking Dead coming to an end I thought that it might be fun for you and I to have a frank discussion about how we might fair in the seemingly inevitable zombie apocalypse (hell, even the CDC is considering it a foregone conclusion). No matter how much I think about this I keep coming to the same sobering conclusion: We are total zombie fodder. I don’t think either of us stand a chance, but I’ll just speak for myself.

Sure, I’ve got size on my side, but I think my general nonchalance and the fact that I’ve never even held a gun or even been in a real fight don’t bode well for me. Granted, I could surprise myself, does anyone really know which way that fight or flight response will go before being put in danger?

Even aside from the obvious aspect — fighting off zombies, I think I have other issues. If The Walking Dead has taught us anything, it’s that the zombies are not really the problem. The problem is all of those damned survivors who don’t know how to behave themselves. I’m not sure that I would end up slowly going crazy like Shane, though it’s not outside the realm of possibility. I think that it would be far more likely that I would end up like Dale, by which I mean uppity, perhaps holding on to the old way of things a bit too hard, and generally getting on everyone’s nerves. Between my lazy nature and unrelenting sarcasm, I’m not sure my fellow survivors would really want to put up with me.

How about you?

Debbie:

Oh, this is fun!

The last few episodes of The Walking Dead have really affected me with direct regard to this question, and probably they are meant to. We’ve had dissent amongst the ranks, attempted suicide, several deaths and now everything they have learned throughout the season they are going to have to put into action if they intend to survive the zombie swarm headed their way.

But I keep coming back to Dale — I’m not sure his hanging onto the old ways was a mistake. It wasn’t his pacifist nature that got him killed, it was trying to get along with all of the survivalist selfishness. If you can’t remember how to behave as a human being, how can you survive a zombie apocalypse? Dale had a very good point.

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t succumb to a zombie attack. I don’t have size on my side, but I’ve got to be speedier than those drooling walkers … I’d dash and dart and climb a tree or something. But I’m not sure it would come to that, because long before I ever got face-to-face with a real zombie, the likes of Shane would have taken my peace-loving, pacifist self out to pasture and shot me through the head … just in case I had aims to come back as a zombie hippie or something. Can zombies sing “Kumbaya”?

Bob:

I like to think that we would find a nice group of survivors who were also hopelessly clinging to the old way of thinking … and then promptly get killed by a group of cannibals. I just don’t see how that way of thinking works in a zombie infested universe.

We have seen Shane (and to a lesser extent, Andrea) get colder and more ruthless, but it seems like no one wants to talk about the obvious: Shane is better suited to survive the zombie apocalypse than any other member of the group. Now, I realize there’s a certain amount of wrongness there because, well, he didn’t survive, but I think you know what I mean.

I probably would have done the same thing that Rick did with Randall when they were in the town (i.e. save him from certain death), but you know that Shane would have left him there or shot him in the head before leaving. Looking back, is there really any question about which course of action would have been easier and ultimately safer in the long run?

Man, I’m glad the zombie apocalypse is still a few years away.

Debbie:

I see your point about Shane, but I think there’s a different message in there as well, and that is if you are needlessly violent and develop insane behaviors that cause you to be homicidal, that you, in fact, are not a good candidate to survive a zombie apocalypse. I don’t understand why human compassion would be a bad thing, as long as you are not like Hershel, and have compassion for the non-humans. That’s where the trouble begins.

Really, I’ll probably be eating my words after the next episode, but what about a self-contained farm with a really big fence, with an emergency basement shelter / tree house? The zombies are so slow!

Bob:

Yes, the zombies are slow, but if you don’t give yourself an out, they’re just going to gang up on you, corner you, and feast on your entrails. Alas, a lot like humans when survival is on the line. I think if we were really to make it, that might be the perfect strategy: whether you’re dealing with humans or zombies, always have an escape plan!

So, reader, how do you think you would do when faced with a zombie apocalypse?

Clacked by Bob Degon
on Mar 15, 2012 @ 11:00 EST5EDT