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What would Desperate Housewives be like without Eva Longoria? – Clacking in Color

What would eight years of 'Desperate Housewives' have been like without Eva Longoria's contributions? In this week's 'Clacking in Color,' the hip column celebrating minorities in television, clacker Jaylen Christie attempts to analyze what the show would be like without Longoria ... and it ain't pretty.

It seems to be quite an accepted fact among my family and friends that I value diversity on television. I always felt that variety was the spice of life. It’s also an acknowledged fact that I find ABC’s Desperate Housewives to be absolutely captivating. Given the trials and tribulations of a rather busy work week, I find comfort and solace in looking forward to my Sundays — not only for the assurance of church service in the morning, but for the satisfaction of a little murder and scandal in the suburbs at night.

Of course I’m talking about the fictitious Wisteria Lane, the ever so eventful piece of idyllic suburbia that serves as a backdrop to the housewives. Now, in its final season, it seems that America’s favorite desperate broads are retiring, and I’m just beside myself. It’s all good though. After all, all good things come to an end, right? So, with the end looming ahead, it got me to thinking about the series as a whole and some of the contributions of its fantastic cast — more notably Eva Longoria.

Anyone who’s seen an episode of Desperate Housewives knows that all four actresses can be funny, but it’s Longoria that manages to steal to show … at least in terms of comedy. As the saucy Gabrielle Solis, an ex-supermodel that seems to say the first thing that pops into her pretty little head,  Longoria regularly gets all of the best one liners and comedic situations. In fact, her particular vignettes play like more of a sitcom than a serialized drama. While at times this can be a good thing, there are moments when it becomes a bit tiring … especially for those that may be yearning for a bit more drama in the series. Nevertheless, comedy seems to have become Longoria’s brand, and there’s no doubt that she’s good. So, with that being said, it made me wonder just how the show would be without Longoria’s contributions. What if Gabrielle Solis wasn’t around?

What would Desperate Housewives be like without Eva Longoria?

Well, for starters, it wouldn’t be half as funny. Sure Teri Hatcher’s clumsy Susan Delfino is around to give us a few chuckles with her pratfalls and endless antics, but now that husband Mike has been shot, Longoria’s scenes have become a bit more pivotal. What’s interesting is that Gabrielle didn’t even start off as a comedic character. No, back in season one, sex seemed to be the thing that she was selling in a plot concerning an affair with a teenage gardener. Oh, how much she’s changed. A hilarious fight with a nun in the second season along with an amusing run in with a ticked off wheelchair bound shopper in season four pretty much solidified Longoria as the comedic housewife.

However, Longoria is tackling two for the price one — she’s also easy on the eyes. The three other main housewives — Hatcher, Marcia Cross, and Felicity Huffman — are a bit older than she is … not that there’s anything wrong with that. My brother believes Hatcher is the prettiest, while my mom and I agree that new addition Vanessa Williams has them all beat. Regardless, whenever promotion photos are shot, Longoria is always wearing something tight if not a bit revealing. So, without her, Desperate Housewives would be missing one of its important ingredients — sex appeal.

Speaking of which, perhaps that may have been a plot to lure in male viewers. It certainly seemed to work on me … although I prefer Williams as wealthy socialite Renee Perry. It’s no secret that she’s my favorite housewife. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have Longoria around. She’s young and that may have been a reason for a younger audience tuning in every week. A recent story in Entertainment Weekly validates this. Originally intended to be in her 40’s, one of the clever heads at ABC requested that Gabrielle be made a bit younger … and the rest, as they say, is history.

Speaking of history lessons, as far as I can remember, the world has always been diverse, and that’s precisely what Longoria adds — a spark of much needed diversity. Let’s face fact, people. Desperate Housewives is a little bit too white. At least that’s my opinion. Sure there was the enigmatic Betty Applewhite in season two, and Italian eco-terrorist Angie Bolen in season six, but for the most part the grass on Wisteria Lane has been covered in snow. Thank God that Longoria is there to keep things a bit more ethnic, and with Williams on board to lend a hand, I’m a bit more content with the racial ratio.

So, what have we learned? Well, without Longoria, the show would be devoid of sex appeal, humor, diversity, and a youthful presence. Could Desperate Housewives have worked with her? Probably. Out of the core four housewives, Bree Van de Kamp has always been one of my favorites. Nevertheless, with Longoria in the cast to help shake things up, viewers can always look forward to a good laugh. Without her, producers would probably be a little frazzled to find someone to rise to the occasion.

And maybe, just maybe, a little desperate.

Photo Credit: ABC

9 Responses to “What would Desperate Housewives be like without Eva Longoria? – Clacking in Color”

March 27, 2012 at 5:43 PM

Hey, Jaylen, did you ever see Longoria in her pre-DH stint on the ill-fated L.A. Dragnet? Can’t say it was a stellar show, but it was a totally different role for her.

April 3, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Hey, Brittany! No, I never got a chance to catch Dragnet. In fact, I think I may have still been in high school. I didn’t watch TV all that much then. I did hear that it was less than stellar. I did catch Eva Longoria in ‘The Sentinel,’ the movie with Michael Douglas. I made it a point to go see that film since she was in it. Let’s hope she continues working after Desperate Housewives ends. I’d like to see her in the rumored Carmen Sandiego movie.

March 28, 2012 at 2:01 AM

Very good read, Jaylen, and something a little different. You made some excellent points about the cast and the show, and I think Eva Longoria has probably done as much for the success of Desperate Housewives as anybody – cast or crew.

While I feel Teri Hatcher, over the journey, has been the standout actress, both with drama and comedy, there is no doubt Eva has developed an extraordinary sense of comedic timing. She has not only become one of the most recognisable actresses on television today, she has become one of the most recognisable celebrities in the world. And with her high-profile marriage and subsequent divorce with Tony Parker, and her business activities, as well as her huge annual earnings, Eva Longoria has made an impressive name for herself since joining the show in 2004.

It’s interesting when we think about what it was that drew people in to Desperate Housewives when it premiered in 2004. It was heavily promoted, it had an impressive array or recognisable actors, and it promised mystery and intrigue. It was Melrose Place infused with the fun and sex of Sex and The City, the mystery of Twin Peaks, and the emotional weight of Six Feet Under. On top of all that, fans of Teri Hatcher would tune in for her, Melrose Place fans would watch for Marcia’s primetime TV return, and Felicity Huffman was already forming an impressive career for herself before she joined the series. While Eva Longoria was largely an unknown actress at the time, for so many reasons that you mentioned in your article, she brought in a lot of viewers. Her season one affair storyline was integral to the success of the show because it was shocking to see a central character on a primetime series behave with such disregard for the acceptable standards of society. And Gabrielle was someone the writers wanted the viewers to like. It was amazing to me that she was so likable, given what her breakthrough storyline was. And the writers and Longoria herself pulled it off magnificently.

As for men who watch the show, I think a lot of that is down to the sex appeal of the women, particularly Eva Longoria, and perhaps Nicollette when she was on the series. But I don’t think that is the main reason. A lot of men, and maybe they don’t like to admit it, enjoy soap operas. There is a formula that plays heavily on the writers minds when forming your classic soap opera storyline. Key ingredients are secrets, suspense, surprises and shocks. They all start with S, that wasn’t intentional. LOL! This formula doesn’t just appeal to women, there’s no reason why it would. So, I think it always comes down to the writing and the stories being told. Men will not watch a show just for a few pretty girls if they don’t enjoy the storylines. Sex appeal is one thing, but that can only be so exciting when the characters are always fully clothed. LOL! So, I think men are just as likely to enjoy a show like Desperate Housewives as women are.

Is Desperate Housewives too white? I don’t know, maybe it is. A lot of television series get criticised for being too white. I don’t know, I think they’ve made an effort to be multi-cultural over the eight years. Alfre Woodard and her character’s family were an important part of the second season, she was one of my personal favourites on the show. And I loved her storyline. Also, bearing in mind, this is only one street, and there is only so much diversity that can happen on one little American suburban cul-de-sac. Though, this street has seen its fair share of murder and adultery, so perhaps the fact that it is only one street didn’t play too heavily on the creators’ minds. I do applaud the creators and the writers with making a solid effort to show diversity in other ways, with Gaby and Carlos’ Mexican heritage, Angie’s Italian…ism, and now Renee, these characters come from different backgrounds, which gives each character a distinction all their own. And keeps everything fresh and new.

Thank you, Jaylen, for the read.

April 3, 2012 at 1:12 PM

You make a lot of good points as usual, Lachlan. I’d like to think that it takes a bit more than sex appeal to lure men to a show. But yes, I think that there are dudes that really enjoy good soap operas. You and I would be prime examples of that…although sex appeal sweetens the pot! I agree that Teri Hatcher is the star of the show, but Eva has certainly come a long way since the first season. I’ll have to disagree with you about the producers making an effort to make DH less white. No, buddy. I think there is a LOT more that they could have done, but oh well. It’s still a great series! :-)

March 28, 2012 at 12:45 PM

Hi Jay,
I agree with you Eva can hold her on when comes to acting. She is not just another pretty face.

April 3, 2012 at 1:06 PM

Thanks, Pop! Yes, Eva is pretty, but it’s nice to have talent too. She’s a true comedian!

April 3, 2012 at 3:22 PM

Hello Jay, I enjoyed reading your article on Eva Longoria. Eva is a pretty good actress but is a spoiled bratt on the Desperate Housewives. Carlos has spoiled Gabby (Eva). In her scenes she can be pretty funny…sometimes hilarious. I am looking forward to the next chapter of Eva’s acting career once she retires from Desperate Housewives.

April 3, 2012 at 6:18 PM

Yes, Gaby is spoiled, but at least she’s trying to take charge. I like that she has a job now, so that’s a step in the right direction. Eva Longoria certainly keeps things humorous on the show. I do wonder what she’ll do next though.

April 7, 2012 at 4:32 AM

I wish there were more Asian characters. We had Xiao Mei in a silly, rather demeaning (though funny, and the actress was hilarious) role years ago and not one Asian since then.

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