(Season 1, Episode 7) “Suppose she gets pregnant! How in the world is she supposed to nurse a baby with fangs?” – Arlene to Sam, on Sookie having sex with Bill Oh, Sookie. There’s no turning back now. But there’s one thing I don’t understand. I thought if you were bitten by a vampire, you […]

Feeling confused about this season of Heroes? You’re not alone. Although last week’s episode offered a few answers, I’m still trying to piece things together, as are a lot of my friends. Maybe David H. Lawrence XVII can help us figure it out. After spending 35 years in the radio industry, including hosting a syndicated […]

(Season 2, Episode 12) “The only thing that’s keeping you from being happy is the belief that you’re alone.” – Anna, to Don Finally, a question is answered that I’ve had since we found out Don is Dick: what about the real Don’s family? Certainly they would be wondering where their Don was after “Dick […]

Yessirree, Bob, your Main Clack is back with all the news that’s fit to type on those wild and wacky reality shows. Oh, geez. Sometimes I make myself ill when I wax all poetic and all that stuff. And … who’s Bob? Are we talking Sassone or Degon here or just your plain old Bob […]

(Season 5, Episode 4) “He paints our house, until my mom makes him drink wine and have a sleepover.” – MJ, on giving Jackson a prominent position in his school artwork, while Mike is relegated to the background This is probably the understatement of the year, but doesn’t it seem like the housewives are setting a […]

(Season 3, Episode 4) Not that you needed any further convincing, but I am officially one effed-up individual. Dexter not only steals most of his proposal from someone else — a crazed killer, no less — but he’s also a serial killer … and I got all choked up at his proposal. What the hell […]

I’m sure it will come as no surprise that since I write about TV, I end up seeing a lot of it. Let’s face it, there’s a good amount of crap on the tube and I often find myself watching it and feeling myself getting dumber but unable to turn away. With that said, there’s […]