Splash, week 2: Still not all wet

Look … you and I both know the use of the word “competition” in Splash is rather the glaring oxymoron, right? So let’s just chalk up its use to throwaway fluff whenever co-hosts Charissa Thompson and Joey Lawrence blurt it out. If you can put that thought into play, you’ll be better off all around. Me? I’m in it for the fun of the show, for a little spectacle that comes across the screen every now and again and for a few chuckles. That’s the kind of stance you should be taking going in. Do that and I can about guarantee you’ll find it more enjoyable than you would expect.

And if you’re still not on board with Splash, there’s another side to it. Really. Consider the following: I don’t care who you are, Drake Bell’s statement during his intro prior to his individual feat claiming he went 3,600 dives before the first “competition” (see what I did there?) is nothing to sneeze at. The competition aspect of the program may be laughable — especially given judges David Boudia‘s and Steve Foley‘s wide-ranging (and sometimes seemingly jaw-dropping) scores from contestant to contestant — but make no mistake about it: There is some seriousness going on during the show.

What? You want proof? How about Nicole Eggert‘s arms collapsing under her during warm ups? Ndamukong Suh‘s split and bloodied lip in practice? And how about Chuy Bravo‘s broken foot which forced him to leave the show? (Granted, that last one wasn’t a result of an actual dive, but it was a serious injury. And his replacement, Brandi Chastain, ain’t no wet beach towel lying in the sand.) You can’t deny these things aren’t real. Bona fide doings are afoot (no pun intended) and have been quite evident in the first two airings of this ABC hit. And yes, it has been a hit thus far.

Of course, there’s the spectacle aspect of the show I mentioned as played out by “everyone’s favorite,” Kendra Wilkinson. The little “underwater pole dance” moves committed during her intro were blatant grandstanding (whether choreographed or not) and her overly dramatic walk past the crowd (arms wrapped seductively over her head) were nothing less than showgirl performance of the most eye rolling kind. I don’t know about you, but I was expecting that kind of monkey business from someone somewhere sometime in the program … and there it was, courtesy of Kendra. And as if that circus sideshow wasn’t enough for you, Kendra added even more with this little gem: “People ask why I’m famous and my answer is ‘I have no idea … I don’t do anything’ …” Enough said, straight from the former Hugh Hefner girlfriend her ownself. (But wait! She cried post-dive, too, conquering her fear of heights! It was the cherry on top of all her other shenanigans.)

Still, none of this should deter you from indulging in the hour of frolickry Splash provides. I told you last week it’s not the big, wet belly flop everyone expected. So quit with the skepticism already and believe me.

Or … at least tune in for some of the terrific lines Joey Lawrence is tossing at us: “Who will survive? And which two stars are going head to head in the dive off? It’s truly do … or dive.”