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The Big Bang Theory – Five ways to off Kripke

Kripke must die on The Big Bang TheoryMaybe I’m being too protective of my favorite bunch o’ geeks. This is the second time that a character I don’t care for has all of a sudden been thrust into the limelight without rhyme or reason. The first one was the doctor (who seemed so un-doctor-esque) who became Leonard’s love sex interest, then vanished. Now we’ve had two weeks of Barry Kripke. Or, as he would say it — “Bawwy Kwipke.”

Sure, all of the regular characters are a bit over the top in execution. For some reason, I can deal with that. My biggest problem with him is the overly-faked speech impediment. Maybe it’s my core political correctness speaking, but I’m not so sure that’s really it. I think it’s more along the lines as the impediment is so unbelievable — baby talk in a 30-ish-year-old man. It just doesn’t work for me at all. Plus, with the exception of these two particular storylines, I just don’t see any redeeming value in keeping the character. So we must off him off the series. I’ve come up with five ways to do the dastardly deed.

1. Howard’s an engineer (as Sheldon keeps reminding us). He could use his engineering ways to turn the rock wall into a giant sponge. Sheldon goes climbing with Kripke again, lets Kripke go up first. WHOOSH. The giant sponge takes Kripke into its nooks and crannies, then an implanted acid eats him alive. The wall returns to its previous form. However, Kripke has vanished without a trace. This approach would also work if Kripke climbed a giant Thomas’ English Muffin.

2. The producers decide that Barry Kripke will have surgery which miraculously cures his speech impediment. Without the impediment to mock, they find out the character has no redeeming value. From that point on, we only see Barry Kripke in the background of scenes in the work cafeteria. He’s a non-entity, not speaking nor even focused well on camera shots. He’s there, but he’s not and we don’t have to deal with him.

3. Since the boys are gamers, they could delve into a real-life-fantasy game of Dungeons and Dragons. You know, like the controversial ones decades ago. Roaming tunnels well underground, we could have an Edgar Allen Poe intervention. (Yes, I know the boys are science geeks, but I’m an English geek and this is my list, not theirs!) Following the cue from “The Cask of Amontillado,” the boys lead him into a room which ends up being his sealed tomb. No, the boys won’t do the deed. Another unknown player steps in and seals the tomb. The boys just never find him again. Um, no. They don’t look really hard for him.

4. The boys resurrect the time travel machine and send Barry Kripke back to the age of the cavemen. After all, impediment and supposed intelligence aside, the man is quasi-Neanderthal. He could lead a new civilization and make his mark in time. Er, maybe not. That’s kind of a scary thought — a race of people led by Barry Kripke. Eek! But, at least, he wouldn’t be on the show any more. He could have a spin-off series which would be canceled immediately after the pilot airs.

5. He could just vanish the way Leonard’s love sex interest doctor did. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Just make him disappear and never refer to him again. It worked for Stephanie, let it work for Barry Kripke. I won’t complain even though it makes for a rather disjointed continuity. After all, this isn’t Superman. It’s The Big Bang Theory.

How would you off Kripke?

Photo Credit: CBS

Categories: | The Big Bang Theory | Clack | General | TV Shows |

2 Responses to “The Big Bang Theory – Five ways to off Kripke”

January 22, 2009 at 3:28 PM

she sells sea shells down by the seashore

April 26, 2009 at 6:02 PM

I know the actor.
Have you considered the possibility that he’s not faking his speech impediment and that you should be ashamed for begrudging him the opportunity to succeed on his own terms, just as God made him, Sir?

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