Diary of a Supernatural Virgin – Kripke, why have you forsaken me?

Season 4, Episodes 9 – 12

After I dropped Owen off at Nature Camp this week (oh, sweet freedom!), I was driving home to too-loud classic rock, imagining myself to be the long-lost Winchester sister … have I been watching too much Supernatural?

To tell you the truth, I’m starting to think it wouldn’t be all that much fun to be a Winchester. Man, life is totally sucking for the boys with this batch of episodes, and as a viewer, I’m entering Suckville a bit myself.

“I Know What You Did Last Summer” and “Heaven and Hell”
Castiel and Uriel battle Alastair and his men to get possession of Anna the fallen angel. We learn more about what Dean and Sam were individually up to last summer, and in both cases, it was no good.

“Don’t you recognize me? Oh, I forgot, I’m wearing a pediatrician.” – Alastair the demon, to Dean

“An angel and a demon riding in the back seat. It’s like a setup to a bad joke. Or a penthouse forum letter.” – Dean, driving with Anna and Ruby in the backseat of his car

Yeah, Supernatural may have just crossed the “too dark” line for me with these two episodes. No monster of the week, and it was sorely missed. As fascinating as it was getting all of the mythology behind the angels, it was made a little hokey because it took itself so seriously. This is something that Supernatural hasn’t done before. I mean, a giant suicidal teddy bear and killer clowns, evil Santa and Ghostfacers … they all worked because it was so delightfully tongue-in-cheek.

When Uriel had Anna’s grace in a necklace around his neck, all I could think of was Austin Powers and his stolen mojo. Hokey.

I’m certainly not going to let my love for Supernatural be tainted by these two episodes, but I do hope they get back to what makes Supernatural great and lighten up a bit. You’ve warned me season four was a dark one, and I finally get it.

Even though I’m not all mushy-gushy about this two-parter, there were some important things going on in these episodes:

• Sam tells the story of how Ruby saved his life to Dean:
  “Sam, TMI.” – Dean, to Sam when he told Dean that he and Ruby slept together
  “I told you I was coming clean.” – Sam
  “But now I feel dirty.” – Dean
• Sam sleeps with a demon, Dean with an angel — is this telling?
• Dean’s confession to Sam about how he held out for 30 years, and then he finally became a torturer, and wishes he could feel nothing. All along I’ve been suspecting evil Sam, but Dean was doing way worse things than exorcising demons and sending them back to Hell. I like the shades of gray.
• Wow, do I have the hate-on for Uriel. What a sanctimonious bastard. Though from what Anna says, being an angel’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe he’s just bitter?
• “You cut yourself a slice of angel food cake.” – Uriel, on Dean and Anna doing the deed
• Like commenter Cassi said about my last virgin diary post, I do get what Lilith said to Dean about getting the ghost sickness now — he was using fear when he tortured the souls in Hell.

“Family Remains”
Tortured and abused humans kill to defend their territory, and Sam and Dean save the family who were unfortunate enough to buy the house.

“What kind of ghost messes with a man’s wheels? – Dean

This doesn’t happen very often in Supernatural (the last time was “The Benders” in season one), but we’ve got a spook-free episode this time. The evildoers are human, and like last time, and a heck of a lot scarier than ghosts.

Yeah, that dad/granddad/I’m my own Grandpa was a sick bastard, and like Dean did, you’ve got to feel for the abuse that would have turned those kids basically into animals, but man, I don’t want to watch it. I really didn’t enjoy this episode at all, and I’m sure I could live a full life without ever having seen a human tear into a live rat with an appetite.

As always, Supernatural does an amazing job at having the storyline reflect what’s going on with Sam and Dean; in this case, Dean. I get that we had to see a completely horrifying human story, down to the base survival instinct, for this episode to give us the most impact in light of Dean’s revelation. How horrible must Hell really be for Dean to enjoy torturing others, because he had suffered for so long he needed to deal some out? Deep and wow, and methinks if Sam does go all evil that Dean lest not be too judgy.

Other things:

• It was a bit Amityville Horror at the beginning, with the kid playing catch with the haunter.
• Mr. Stanwick and Mr. Babar — characters from the movie Fletch — were Sam and Dean’s county code enforcement officer aliases.
• How fittingly hilarious that Uncle Ted called Dean “Fonzie.”

“Criss Angel is a Douche Bag”
An immortal magician tries to help his friend achieve success, but it is at the expense of others’ lives.

I was holding out hope that this episode would save this batch of episodes for me, because it is probably the best episode title in the history of episodic television, but I was pretty meh about it. Kripke, baby, why have you forsaken me? Where’s the magic (no pun intended)? Our relationship started off so strong, with so much promise, and now, well, I still love you but I want the old “us” back.

Don’t get me wrong, this episode had its moments:

• The simple greatness that is Barry Bostwick.
• All the old magicians and Dean with the repeated line: “What a douche bag.”
• The Chief to Dean: “You ain’t been had ’til you’ve been had by The Chief. What’s your safe word?”
• When The Incredible Jay escapes from the chair Dean tied him to: “I guess we should have seen that one coming.”

And we did get the Sam connection. Like Jay had to do the right thing, even though it meant killing his best friend, Sam decided to do “the thing” with Ruby, whatever that is. Oh, Kripke, you tease. Maybe some of the old magic is left in us yet.

Clacked by Debbie McDuffee
on Jul 05, 2009 @ 11:00 EST5EDT