Oh. My. Gordness.
Have I become completely and totally disillusioned with The Voice? Am I daft for not liking this episode? No. I don’t think so. Matter of fact, I know I haven’t lost all sense of reality. There was precious little to enjoy.
Pip / Nathan Parrett “You Know I’m No Good”
With Pip turning all four coaches around during the auditions, you knew it was going to be an uphill battle for Nathan to climb out of any hole Pip dug for him. It was just not meant to be. Pip displayed the dynamics when it came to the performance. That’s why he advanced.
Erin Martin / The Shields Brothers “What’s Love Got To Do With It”
All around, there was nothing whatsoever good about this travesty. During the performance, the only coach who wasn’t watching it while wearing rose colored glasses was Blake who’s face screamed “What the hell was that??!” all through this duet. (If that’s what you want to call it.) Afterward, Cee Lo commented “Don’t make a fool of me, woman!” as Erin walked off the stage. Hey, Cee Lo? I have news for you: Between that song choice and this pairing? Too late …
(And, folks? If you think you’re going to get away Scot free without sharing the pain, you’ve got another thing coming. Whatever you do, don’t eat or drink anything while perusing the following video.)
(Side Note: Even my colleague Ivey had words about the above performance: “Cee Lo is a @+&#$%! idiot (for) picking the Tina Turner song, pairing those two artists (and) picking the girl who performed a song in a way she had no business doing, sounding like seals screwing.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.)
Ashley De La Rosa / Jonathas “No Air”
How in the world can two competitors actually mesh during a duet, yet completely fail individually when they sing? I have no clue, but that’s exactly what Ashley and Jonathas did. Puzzling. Christina’s choice of Ashley was probably the right one, but there wasn’t much to pick from. What do you do?
ALyX / Jermaine Paul “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car”
This duet was boring as crap … but the coaches gushed over it. I understand that “needs” to happen so that each and every contestant isn’t “dissed” when they give a performance, but man … there was wrong from the very start of this duet and nothing made it right. The little laugh huffs (or whatever the hell they were) didn’t endear me to Jermaine in the least, either. For that reason alone, I would have picked ALyX to advance. Blake had other ideas. Ugh.
Angel Taylor / Katrina Parker “Bleeding Love”
Katrina blew Angel away. Adam had no other choice but to go with Angel. Period.
Gwen Sebastian / Erin Willett “We Belong”
From the coaching clip alone, this looked like one of the few battle rounds that actually appeared as if was going to turn out interesting. Is Erin’s voice ever a powerhouse, such that it makes Gwen’s look sophomoric by comparison. It’s not that Gwen doesn’t have a good one herself, it’s just not in the same league as Erin’s.
No, I’m not grouchy. No, I didn’t have a bad attitude going into last evening’s episode. No, I don’t need a cookie. This was just a terrible Monday night in the short history of The Voice. That’s all.
“I (expletive deleted) loved it. That was entertainment.” — Christina critiquing probably the worst performance on The Voice ever. Ever. EVER. (RE: Erin Martin and The Shields Brothers)
“It was wonderfully strange, bizarre, peculiar, brilliant, genius and all those other colorful things, you know?” — Cee Lo, stumbling while trying (and failing miserably) to come up with any semblance of words that would adequately define what was just witnessed on stage by Erin Martin and The Shields Brothers