What a year it’s been! There have been a few movies I’ve seen this year, so I feel pretty confident making large, subjective claims about society as a whole based on them. Or you know, be vaguely amusing instead. Before I get to the “Big Awards” (like most adorable or most precocious), here is a little spreading of the love (and spite).

Movie Most Devoid of Purpose, Meaning, Value, or even a Point: This Means War
Setting aside the not insignificant moral issues with this stupid movie, let’s admit that even Captain Kirk, Bane, and Chelsea Handler can screw up a movie and have a terrible ending. Bad romantic comedy + Bad spy movie = Bad movie.

Worst Exploitation of a Minority Group: Red Tails
Best Exploitation of a Minority Group: It’s a tie! Beasts of the Southern Wild and Django Unchained

Brutal honesty and piercing insight? Beauty and violence balanced with humanity? Sure, more please. George Lucas complaining about racism in Hollywood after releasing a shoddy overly CGIed movie about legitimate historical heroes? Nope.

Worst Movie about Snow White: It’s a tie! Snow White and the Hunstman and Mirror, Mirror
It was a weird coincidence that two mediocre movies about Snow White came out the same year. One was a schlocky, maudlin mess with a lot of bright colors. The other was a dry, bizarre mess with a lot of dark colors. But at least Charlize Theron was great.

Loudest Movie without Substance: Battleship
Loudest Movie with Substance: Prometheus

Oh, Battleship. I’d be lying if I said I expected anything better. Prometheus was bit out of control, but it was not terrible by any stretch.

Award for Failure to Waste Robert De Niro: It’s a tie! Being Flynn and Silver Linings Playbook
You guys … Robert De Niro is actually a really good actor. I’d sort of forgotten.

Deepest Movie Nobody Saw: The Grey
I saw this movie nearly a year ago, and it still resonates with me. Perhaps it wasn’t “Taken 4: Wolf Puncher,” but it was an exploration of humanity and survival, with truly beautiful cinematography of the icy wastes of British Columbia (standing in for Alaska).

Worst Movie I Saw: The Watch

Worst Movie I Didn’t See: That’s My Boy
There’s a lot wrong with The Watch. It’s not really a movie, it’s not really a comedy, it’s not really fun at all. But at least there’s no incest.

Would’ve Made Movie a lot Better if Removed: Justin Timberlake in Trouble with the Curve
Would’ve Made Movie a lot Worse if Removed: Paul Rudd in Wanderlust (see also This is 40)
I hated everything with Justin Timberlake’s character in Trouble with the Curve. But Paul Rudd, though … he elevated Wanderlust to something better than itself, and he helped hold This is 40 together, although in that case, he had help (from everyone else).

Most Surprisingly Not as Good as Expected: Brave
Most Surprisingly Not as Bad as Expected: The Three Stooges
I was a bit sad that I thought Brave was just good, not great. And I was surprised that I didn’t totally hate The Three Stooges. It wasn’t terrible at all!

Most Kick-ass Female Character: It’s a tie! Merida from Brave, Katniss from The Hunger Games, Black Widow from The Avengers, MMA fighter Gina Carano’s character in Haywire
But I guess those are just exceptions, because nobody wants to see movies with kickass female characters, right? (sarcasm)

And as a bit up of a quick warm up, the rapid fire nerdiest movies of 2012!

Nerdiest Video Game Movie: Wreck-It Ralph

Nerdiest Comic Book Movie: The Avengers

Nerdiest Theater Movie: Les Misérables

Nerdiest Meta Movie: The Cabin in the Woods

Nerdiest Nerdy Movie: The Hobbit

By the way, the nerdiest thing of all is being pedantic about nerdy things. That’s how I know my list is accurate. And now …

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As 2012 comes to a close without the apocalypse “predicted” by the Mayans and Roland Emmerich, it’s time to look back on some of my favorite movies from the past year. Now this is by no means a comprehensive list of the Best films of the year, simply because there are many Oscar hopefuls that have yet to play in my neck of the woods (Baltimore is not regarded very highly by the studios as one of those “select” cities some movies open in first before getting a wider release). And with several writers here at CliqueClack covering movies, we don’t all get to see the same movies for reviewing purposes. So, while Zero Dark Thirty and The Impossible have yet to open in Baltimore, my 2012 list will consist of the movies I simply enjoyed the most this year. So let’s take the plunge and see if we can find something that was entertaining, if not great (i.e. Oscar caliber). The following list is in no particular order … except the order in which I saw them.

21 Jump Street was an update of a 1980s TV cop drama that absolutely should not have worked … but it did! Instead of sticking to the straight drama of the show, the movie was a full-out comedy that somehow still managed to honor the show and be pants-wettingly funny at the same time. Jonah Hill is an old hand at comedy by this time, but who knew Channing Tatum had the chops and timing to deliver the dialog, do the pratfalls, and still manage to be charming all at the same time? We saw a level of self-deprecation in this performance that we really haven’t seen before, and this certainly contributed to Tatum’s meteoric rise to stardom in 2012. Before this, he was just another pretty face. And the movie has one of the funniest visual gags — when Tatum’s and Hill’s characters get inadvertently stoned — in a movie this year.

After sitting on the shelf for two years due to the bankruptcy of MGM, Lionsgate stepped up to give The Cabin in the Woods the proper release it deserved. Part horror, part sci-fi, part satire, the movie took the stereotypical horror movie characters — the jock, the virgin, the brain, the nerd, the slutty girl — and put them in a stereotypical situation, but there was a lot more going on behind this premise than anyone realized. The film beautifully poked fun at everything audiences expected from this type of movie, then turned it all upside-down in the third act without being snarky or denigrating the genre. It ended up being a terrific send-up of the genre, but much more subtle and reverent than the Scary Movie franchise. And Lionsgate really lucked out by releasing the film now as the then unknown Chris Hemsworth has ascended to stardom thanks to his career-making role as Thor.

I know I’ll get raked over the coals for this one, but I totally enjoyed the Farrelly Brothers’ update of The Three Stooges. After the last few films from the Farrellys, I had the lowest of expectations for this movie, which took the blasphemous route of casting actors to play carbon copies of the original Stooges. The die-hard fans were appalled at the notion, but the Farrellys managed to cast three actors who were able to remain faithful to the original trio and never took the characters into parody territory. Chris Diamantopoulos and Will Sasso, as Moe and Curly, were terrific with their voices and mannerisms, but the real star of the show was Sean Hayes as Larry. After being known mainly as Jack on Will & Grace, Hayes showed that he really is more than a one-note actor (and put to rest the notion that an openly gay actor can’t play anything but gay), and totally nailed the character of Larry that actor Larry Fine originally gave life to. And being fans of the original, the Farrellys put the care and love into the project and respected what came before.  I know many people felt this movie was totally unnecessary, but the audience I saw it with laughed from beginning to end and who doesn’t want that from a comedy?

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