Survivor: Gabon – Want to See the Elephant Dung?

Monty Brinton/CBS

(Season 17, Episode 1 – Season Premiere)

One of the best games on television kicked off an amazing seventeenth run. As always, it takes a few episodes before you really start to care about any of these people, but it always happens. For now, at eighteen new faces it’s almost too early to care about who gets cut. Giving us two hours to get to know these new people is a smart move, as we can start to form some connections to our favorites.

I was pleased to see, right from the opening sequence, that while there are still a bunch of young beauties on the cast, it’s a much more normal looking group than the past few seasons. It was really getting annoying seeing a slew of wannabe actors and models using this as a hopeful springboard to a Hollywood career. Oh, and word of advice, Survivor crew. Don’t name a tribe a word that sounds like “thong.” Especially if it’s full of old people. Creates a visual we just don’t need.

I’ll give it up for untamed Gabon as one of the most beautiful locations we’ve had in awhile. Who knew that stunning island oases could get old? Kind of like the combined age of the Fang tribe. I really don’t get why you would people your tribe with mostly older and out of shape people when you know you’re going to be dealing with intensive physical challenges.

Some of the best Survivor installments have been the ones where they stripped the contestants of all their personal belongings, trapping them in the wild with only the clothing on their backs. Of course, it also creates tons of blurring as underwear isn’t necessarily designed to keep certain anatomical parts fully contained during vigorous exercise. But the extra challenge and burden it puts on the players makes the game that much more intense.

Early favorites for me were 57-year old bow-tie wearing physics teacher Bob. Old boy is a champ in the wild and the natural leader of the Kota tribe. Tribemate Ace is the cockiest player since first season winner Richard Hatch. And yet, he doesn’t have any of the charm so it’s likely to backfire all over his face assuming Kota ever loses a challenge.

The early strength of the bond between Charlie and Marcus is pretty unexpected, and I’m not sure why but I feel that this straight/gay “handsome guys” duo could make it pretty far in this game. Their formation of the large onion alliance was pretty smartly concocted.

Survivor tradition dictates that oldest woman gets the boot first, but if she somehow finds a way to survive then you get rid of the smallest and/or youngest girl. I’m not sure how Gillian managed to avoid the knife considering her physical weakness, but I guess Michelle’s negative attitude proved more of a concern to her tribe than her athletic prowess. And poor gamer Ken watched his love connection’s flame get snuffed. Guess he’ll have to focus on the game now.

Jeff gave a pep to Fang for being competitive in the second immunity challenge, but in the end it was Kota again. They sent attorney Dan to Exile Island where we learned that this season exiles are offered the option of “comfort” or “clue.” They can opt to get a clue to the location of the hidden immunity idol, or skip all that and get some food or other comfort. Dan chose “clue,” but it didn’t matter as he proved that law school doesn’t prepare you for Survivor’s poetic cryptology.

Ultimately, Gillian wasn’t able to escape the fire for long. After three consecutive losses, the tribe finally cut their weakest link. But not after almost making an incredibly dumb move by eliminating physically fit Dan just because some thought he might have gotten the idol. Hopefully, they’ve got something together collectively upstairs now or this could turn out to be an incredibly one-sided season until the merge.

Clacked by Jason Hughes
on Sep 26, 2008 @ 03:18 EST5EDT