Quotation Marks – Week of October 10, 2008

by Jane Boursaw

Everyone had something to say this week, from Michael Scott to Amy Poehler to Tom Bergeron, who has a sense of humor about his Emmy hosting gig:

“That’s why I host, because there are very few hosting injuries … unless you count the Emmys.” – Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars

“In describing her beautiful home, Sarah Palin says that when she stands on her porch, she can see the moon. You know what that means — she’s now qualified to be an astronaut.” – Jay Leno, The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

“Last night’s Presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain is being called flat, boring, and uninteresting. As a result, it’s been picked up as a fall series by NBC.” – Conan O’Brien, Late Night With Conan O’Brien

“I hate my mother. What do you think of that?” – Pete, Mad Men

“If it’s not me, I’ll go along with it. If it is me, I’ll burn the camp down.” Randy, on how his new team might vote for elimination, Survivor Gabon

“I will do my best, despite hating each and every one of you.” Randy, on how he will perform in challenges, Survivor Gabon

“Gary, I have to cash these. Can you please stop writing ‘this is a hold up’ in the memo section?” – Allison, on her alimony checks, Gary Unmarried

“You defended the retreat saying it had been planned before the bailout. That’s like going ahead with Grandma’s birthday party even though Grandma died three days ago.” – Amy Poehler, yelling at AIG for their expensive executive retreat post-bailout, Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update Thursday

“You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You’re Robin Shyamalan.” – Michael, The Office

“Does it have a special pocket for your rationalization?” – Louise, asking about her mother’s new leather purse, Gary Unmarried

“I’ve seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top, but this guy… this guy’s boring.” – Dean, Supernatural

“History is written by those who win, not those who are the nicest.” – Wilhelmina to Betty before losing her job as editor-in-chief, Ugly Betty

“Like thousands of children and stoners before you, you have been enslaved by the four toned succubus. Damn you, Hasbro!” Klaus, talking about Simon, American Dad

“YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” – 100,000 fans at Talladega as Dale Earnhardt, Jr. took the lead

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” – 100,000 fans at Talladega as Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is wrecked out of the race

Boston Legal:
“You can’t appeal an acquittal. You’re the defendant.” – Judge Brown
“He’s right. What happened?” – Denny Crane
“Sorry, Denny. I guess you can’t lose them all.” – Carl Sack

“I think I just heard the milk go bad.” – Andrew to Bree and Orson, Desperate Housewives

“My friends” – John McCain, Presidential Debate

“THAT ONE!” – John McCain, Presidential Debate

If you hear some groovy quotes you think should be considered for next week’s column, feel free to drop me a line, jane.boursaw@cliqueclack.com.