TV is back in full swing after the holidays, and so is Quotation Marks. In this edition, we ponder “yo momma jokes,” Kim Kardashian, and everyone’s favorite love serum, Drakkar Noir.
Saturday Night Live:
“I ate a whole tray of mini cannoli and thought about the ’80s.” — Kristen Wiig as Kathie Lee Gifford, commenting on her New Year’s Eve activities.
The Big Bang Theory:
Sheldon: “Also, I am given to understand that your mother is overweight.”
Raj: “Oh, snap.”
Sheldon: “Now of course, if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony then I withdraw that comment.”
How I Met Your Mother:
“You’re right, super hot lady who my wife keeps telling me why you’re famous, but I keep forgetting.” –Marshall, talking to a magazine with Kim Kardashian on the cover.
Robin: “Yeah. Last night, we actually did it while I was returning a bunch of phone calls.”
Marshall: “I knew you didn’t get a rowing machine!”
Gossip Girl:
“You’re a disappointment of a son; I’d die of embarrassment if I wasn’t already; why do you wear so much purple?” — Chuck, pondering all the things his father would say to him, were he still alive.
Leverage:
“Have you ever been to Kiev? The Cakemaker of Kiev would whoop all our asses. This is the Butcher.” — Hardison
My Name Is Earl:
“Your mom is as crooked as a do-it-yourself haircut.” — Joy’s Grandmother
30 Rock:
“It’s called a tankort, Cerie. You may have seen it in Us Weekly, being worn by Dame Judi Dench…’s mother.” — Liz, on her special vacation bathing suit.
“Why am I telling you you look like Tootsie today?” — Tracy to Liz after he believed he was given a truth serum.
“It would be an honor to die at my post and be given the traditional burial of a Parcell man: wrapped in a confederate flag, fried, and fed to dogs.” — Kenneth
“I’m so happy the number four you.” — Cerie, speaking in text message
“What do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it didn’t happen and give ourselves a giant bonus.” — Jack
Psych:
Clacked by Kona Gallagher 
on Jan 18, 2009 @ 17:08 EST5EDT
