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CliqueClack’s updated summer guide to the good cable and bad network shows

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The Closer

It’s summertime, summertime, sum-, sum-, summertime! The weather is getting warmer, the pants are getting shorter, and the beaches invite us to bask on their warm sands. Oh, and it’s also the end of the 2008-09 season and the beginning of summer replacements.

Now, now, calm down! It’s not all doom and gloom. Well, okay, it’s pretty gloomy over in legacy network land. In the land of cable it’s another story. The summer is the time to shine for networks like TNT, FX, and USA. And, as the years roll along, more and more quality programs and stars are making their way to cable for viewers to absorb during those hot, humid nights. Eventually, Jay Leno will have to cover all three primetime hours on NBC.

Since the folks here at CliqueClack want you to be fully aware of the good and bad coming to your flat screen over the next few weeks (for selfish reasons, of course – in order for you to read and comment on our posts), we’re providing an updated version of the summer schedule we released back in April. As usual, dates and times can change. So, be flexible. I mean, it’s summer after all.

Series Premieres/Returns – May

Monday, May 25th

8:00 - Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC): I’m sure this will garner huge ratings. After that…

9:00 - Intervention (A&E)

10:00 - Here Come the Newlyweds (ABC) – Yeah, I didn’t realize this was on last season either.

10:00 - Cake Boss (TLC)

Tuesday, May 26th

9:00 - The Apprentice (UK): You’re sacked!

9:00Hitched or Ditched (CW): Couples have one week to go from dating to engaged.

10:00 - Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen)

10:00 - The Little Couple (TLC): Sequel to Little People Just Married.

Wednesday, May 27th

8:00Wipeout (ABC): Oh, those giant balls!

9:00The Goode Family (ABC): The newest animated series by Mike Judge.

9:30Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E)

9:30 - Surviving Suburbia (ABC): But, apparently, not surviving the season.

Friday, May 29th

9:00What Not to Wear (TLC): Featuring the makeover of former Blossom gal Mayim Bialik.

Saturday, May 30th

10:00 - Pushing Daisies(ABC): Ending on June 13th

Sunday, May 31st

8:00 - Million Dollar Password (CBS): Reege returns!

9:00 - Ice Road Truckers (History)

Series Premieres/Returns – June

Monday, June 1st

8:00 - I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!(NBC): I’m reading this is a “new” series for NBC, but I could swear this was on ABC for awhile in the early 2000s. Anyhoo, they’re going to slot this in four days a week in June. Good luck with that.

Tuesday, June 2nd

10:00 - Paris Hilton My New BFF (MTV): Eh, I’m too tired to make a joke about this.

Thursday, June 4th

9:00 - Burn Notice (USA): New time

10:00The Listener(NBC): A paramedic who’s telepathic. Comes to us from our friends to the north (that would be Canada, folks).

10:00Royal Pains (USA): For all of the promotion they’ve done for this show, it damn well better be good!

Friday, June 5th

10:00 - Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Sunday, June 7th

9:00 - Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E): Why?

9:00 – The Next Food Network Star (Food Network)

10:00 - Army Wives (Lifetime)

10:30Denise Richards: It’s Complicated (E!): No, it’s actually boring.

Monday, June 8th

9:00 - The Closer (TNT)

10:00 - Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo)

10:00Weeds (Showtime)

10:00 - Raising the Bar (TNT):

10:30Nurse Jackie (Showtime): Edie Falco returns to series TV.

Wednesday, June 10th

10:00Top Chef Masters (Bravo): This time the competition is against “world renowned” chefs rather than, you know, the guy down the block.

Thursday, June 11th

9:00 She’s Got the Look (TV Land): Remember when TV Land was still watchable?

Sunday, June 14th

9:00 - True Blood (HBO)

10:00 - Hammertime (A&E): Because you always wanted to know what happened to M.C. Hammer.

Monday, June 15th

9:00 - The Cleaner (A&E)

Tuesday, June 16h

8:00Wedding Day (TNT): Reality series where deserving couples receive dream weddings.

9:00The First 48 (A&E)

9:00 - Hawthorne(TNT): New medical series starring Jada Pinkett Smith.

10:00 - The Singing Bee (CMT): Now with more Country!

10:00 - Saving Grace (TNT)

Wednesday, June 17th

9:00 - Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (BBC America)

Saturday, June 20th

10:00 - Eli Stone (ABC): Everyone now — Yea! Ends on July 11th, I believe.

Sunday, June 21st

8:00 – Merlin (NBC)

Monday, June 22nd

8:00 - The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family)

9:00 - Make It or Break It (ABC Family): Not a reality show. It’s a scripted show featuring Candice Cameron and Peri Gilpin.

Tuesday, June 23rd

8:00The Superstars (ABC): Sort of like Battle of the Network Stars except the celebrities are paired off with professional athletes.

9:00 - America’s Got Talent (NBC): Get ready for five months of over-excited audiences and The Hoff.

10:00 - Primetime (ABC)

Wednesday, June 24th

10:00 - The Real World (MTV)

10:00 - The Philanthropist (NBC)

Thursday, June 25th

10:00 - Penn & Teller: Bullshit (Showtime)

Sunday, June 28th

10:00 - Hung (HBO): Yes, apparently your mind should be in the gutter about this show.

Series Premieres/Returns – July

Wednesday, July 1st

8:00 - Great American Road Trip (NBC)

Friday, July 3rd

8:00 - Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX)

Tuesday, July 7th

8:00 - 10 Things I Hate About you (ABC Family)

9:00 - Blonde Charity Mafia (CW): A docu-series (?) about Washington D.C.’s young, female elite.

10:00Warehouse 13 (SciFi): Though, it may be SyFy by then.

Wednesday, July 8th

9:00 - I Survived a Japanese Game Show (ABC)

9:00 - Ghost Hunters International (SciFi or SyFy)

Friday, July 10th

9:00 - Eureka (SciFi): Or SyFy … not too sure yet.

Sunday, July 12th

10:30Entourage (HBO)

Wednesday, July 15th

9:00 - Leverage (TNT)

10:00 - Dark Blue (TNT): Dylan McDermott takes a stab at original cable fare.

Saturday, July 18th

10:00 - Dirty Sexy Money (ABC): Ends August 8th

Sunday, July 19th

10:00 - HGTV Design Star (HGTV)

Monday, July 20th

10:00 - Dating in the Dark (ABC): The big budget version of a blind date.

Tuesday, July 21st

8:00Hell’s Kitchen (FOX): More verbal abuse by Gordon Ramsay.

8:30Ruby & The Rockits(ABC Family): It’s the return of David Cassidy to television! Eeeeeeee!

Saturday, July 25th

9:00 - Being Human (BBC America): A werewolf, a vampire and a ghost buy a house. No, it’s not a reality series!

Tuesday, July 28th

9:00 - More to Love (FOX): a reality-dating program for all of us fat bastards out there.

Wednesday, July 29th

9:00 - The Moment of Truth (FOX): More lives ruined for money.

Series Premieres/Returns – August

Tuesday, August 4th

9:00 - Lincoln Heights (ABC Family)

Friday, August 7th

9:00Monk (USA)

10:00Psych (USA)

Sunday, August 9th

8:00 - Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (ABC): The Reege version. Does this man ever sleep?

Wednesday, August 19th

9:00 - Ghost Hunters (SciFi or SyFy)

Thursday, August 20th

10:00 - Project Runway (Lifetime): First year away from Bravo.

Photo Credit: TNT

Categories: | Burn Notice | Clack | Eureka | General | Royal Pains | TV Shows |

5 Responses to “CliqueClack’s updated summer guide to the good cable and bad network shows”

May 22, 2009 at 10:33 AM

Thanks for the article. I love that summer TV is not so unbearable anymore. But you might want to rethink that picture cropping. Every time I look at it, I see the window of the door as a continuation of her arm and it freaks me out that she has no hand.

May 22, 2009 at 1:10 PM

Thanks, I thought I was the only one.

May 22, 2009 at 2:10 PM

HAH. Good call. I replaced it.

May 22, 2009 at 3:21 PM

Any idea when Sons of Anarchy comes back?

June 3, 2009 at 11:35 AM

could you make a printable version of the list only please????

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