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Diary of a Gossip Girl Virgin – Murder! Did blondie bang someone to death?

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Gossip Girl

(Season 1, Episode 16)

I am simultaneously confused and amused by how these girls have absolutely nothing better to do than make each other’s lives miserable. Don’t they have days where they just sit around in their pajamas and play Sims non-stop? All this social sabotage looks exhausting.

The social lives of Asian chicks must be even more stressful, as the token ethnic BFFs are treated as almost interchangeable. It looks like they’ve tossed out the old Asian girl and brought the dorky looking one with Flo Rida issues into the inner circle. Doesn’t really matter as long as diversity quotas are met, I suppose.

I thought Eric’s big outing was going to be the big thing of this episode, but as we all know, that wasn’t the case. I’m surprised little Eric didn’t pop Jenny in the face during his initial confrontation after seeing her with Asher. Jenny’s “It’s cute, and not so unexpected actually!” remark towards Eric’s (non-)crush was majorly bitchy. I’m glad that she was outed as a super-beard in such a humiliating way — Oh, no. Have I … Have I become one of them?

Anyway, despite the lovely sense of schadenfreude that descended upon the catty part of my brain, Jenny’s super-beard outing was incredibly forced. Couldn’t they have dragged out that drama a little longer, at least over another episode? Or maybe they didn’t want to distract from the main controversy, which was …

Murder!

Slash, a sex tape!

Slash, super-psycho Harriet the Spy!

So Serena has some sort of filthy murder-secret that ties in with a sex tape that she didn’t even know existed. On top of all that, Georgina is threatening to blackmail her. That’s the worst kind of sex tape, I’m sure.  I’m still not 100% on what Georgina has to gain by scaring Serena. She already seems aggressive and bitchy and attractive enough to hang out with the elite, so what does she want from Serena, who isn’t a party girl anymore anyway?

And finally, I’m glad Jenny has (seemingly) come to her senses and returned to her family. I’m interested in seeing how long this lasts. Not very long, I bet.

Photo Credit: The CW

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