I’m a tad bit biased because I cover the show, but I happen to think that one of the most quotable series on TV right now is The Celebrity Apprentice. Granted you could probably say as much for any one of the “look at the idiot ‘celebs'” shows that are currently on, but consider this: The Celebrity Apprentice casts D- List “celebrities,” decades past their prime, who try to shill their fame and rolodexes for their favorite charities … or in an attempt to influence a jury pool. But either way, the entire point is that they need to wipe off all the shame and embarrassment and hold their heads up high — which inevitably results in a ton of ridiculously asinine quotes from a dozen deluded folks.
And Goldberg, who can hurt me a lot so is obviously not included in any of my derisive talk. He’s awesome.
Bones
“You seem to know your poop.” – Cam
“Why would Lance break up with me? I’m awesome.” – Daisy
“All anyone cares about is the characters.” – Bones
“It’s what they related to. It’s what makes it real.” – Booth
“It’s just a modest ring, but it represents sixty years of love.” – Sweets
The Celebrity Apprentice
“Cyndi makes me laugh. She’s fabulously insane.” – Sharon Osbourne on Cyndi Lauper
“I’m not a creepy guy.” – Bret Michaels, in a talking head
“You can call me whatever you want.” – Donald Trump to Darryl Strawberry, showing a little respect for others’ accomplishments
Greek
“Sin in the Sand Land” – Dale’s name for Spring Break in Myrtle Beach
“Awful lot of gratuitous flesh; it’s like the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric.” – Dale, on the women in the bar
“You know, with drink names like that, they’re practically promoting unwanted pregnancies.” – Dale, after Dana discusses “drink” ideas with Rusty
“Wait, that’s a real job? I would be so good at that. It’s like being cool and psychic.” – Ashleigh to Rebecca, about Trend Forecasting
“Cheese and crackers; this your donkey too?” – Cop to the Omega Chis, at the KT party
The Middle
“I already do just as much as you do around here; I just don’t complain about it.” – Axl to Frankie, when she asks him to help out with her aunts
“Sue, I can’t go to this birthday party. It’ll be horrible. Tons of kids chasing each other … running. They eat sugar, and then they run more. For no reason!” – Brick to Sue, on birthday parties
Modern Family
“Boy, if a spider would’ve been here, he would’ve been in troooouble.” – Cam to Mitchell, on carrying a newspaper to take on a suspected intruder
“I thought Lily was in danger and I froze. But not you. You sprung into action. You even had the cool ‘it’s go time’ line.” – Mitchell
“It comes to me naturally; I spent a year as a crossing guard.” – Cam
Vampire Diaries
“And the keypad is for texting, which is what you do when you want to avoid talking to someone.” – Pearl teaching random vampire how to use a cell phone
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Apr 04, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
