Hopefully, you read my two cents on the first part of this week’s Hell’s Kitchen, so you’re up to date. If not, what have you been doing? Work is no excuse. Your boss expects you to be on the computer goofing around for at least part of the day. Quick! Go read it!
OK, you’re back. I missed you, so I ate six Oreos. Onward!
If you’re wondering about the headline, my chef Gordon Ramsay says it to Salvatore, the “Language Challenged” contestant. Fighting back seems to be an important theme chez HK. Maitre D John Phillipe also gives this advice while he chases contestants through the restaurant who just can’t take Gordon anymore, and are about to quit. “Fight back!”
I’m having a light bulb moment. Do you suppose that Gordon is so blissfully mean to these up and comers to test them? As in, the winner is going to be facing big challenges as the chef of one of Gordon’s 5 star restaurants, so he has to make sure they can handle massive amounts of pressure? That’s it! I’ve found the key to the show! What’s that you say? You already had that epiphany? Well . . . darn.
In this next installment, Gordon has the teams roll dice to pick ingredients for a dish they will have to prepare within 30 minutes. It’s a HK craps table! As usual, the men do well, and have their thinking caps on. They name ingredients that make sense and go well together. Although I have to tell you, I had never heard of salsify before. Appears it’s a mighty tasty plant/root/veggie kinda deal.
The women on the other hand. The women. They make me smack myself in the head a lot. In this challenge, they just blanked on naming ingredients represented by their roll of the dice. See, if you rolled a “B,” you had 10 seconds to come up with a “B” ingredient. Like “bacon.” Sounds simple? Not to these simpletons! The ingredients they chose were beets, shallots, mango, ham, turnips, and duck. Blurgh! Somehow, they pulled it off, but they still lost. Again.
As punishment the women have to clean the front entranceway of the restaurant, as well as prep both kitchens for that night’s service. They begin to run out of time, and all of a sudden Maria has a hairy. She just cries and cries because, “We’re so f@#%ed. He’s going to eat us alive.” Maria says she’ll just die if she disappoints Ramsay. I smell a crush here. She is just one smitten kitten. Later, when Gordon tells her to “bring her lovely face over here,” I actually felt her thighs melting through my television. “No one calls me pretty,” Maria gushes. “He thinks I’m pretty!.” Back off sister, he’s mine!
Another of my favorite quotes so far this season comes from Nilka, who says she was “sweating like Whitney and Bobby on crack” while cleaning. That alone is making me pull for her, and she cooks some mean meat. (No not a pun!) I’m saying she’s one to keep an eye on.
Dinner service starts out with the typical craziness we’re used to. Scott and Autumn keep asserting themselves into everyone else’s grilles. And I must say, I love it when Scott describes himself in the interviews, and the producers play angelic background music. Too funny!
Siobhan should be going soon. This time she keeps putting lobster in the crab dish. Gordon screams, “Which crustacean belongs in your station?” Maybe that should’ve been a Schoolhouse Rock back in the day, instead of “Conjunction Junction.” Did I just date myself? Possibly!
I also think Jay is another one who may go far. Right now, he and Benjamin are standing out on the Blue team for me. Jay’s comments on the other contestants are fairly entertaining as well.
Time to close Hell’s Kitchen for the week, so let’s just cut to the chase. I wasn’t surprised that no one was sent packing this episode, as Andrew walked last week. Autumn (once again) and Scott were called to the carpet, and ultimately demanded to switch teams.
I did rub my hands together in glee when Gordon told Autumn she was “soulless” and “The appendix of the Red Team . . . the one everybody wants out!” That Gordon. As the English say, “He’s a pissah!”
Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jun 16, 2010 @ 15:35 EST5EDT
After reading this I have to say that a lot of this show seems scripted. My brother watches HK and he says he knows that too but he just loves watching Ramsay tear into people. Ah well. In every other work environment, “pretty face” would be considered sexual harassment but here it’s all kinda drowned out by the verbal abuse.
I guess what I really like is how you write about it. Fun to read :-)
*POST AUTHOR*
Thanks Sebastian, I’m really glad you think so!