Hell’s Kitchen – Well done. Really well done!

And so, my friends. I will wax nostalgic for a moment or two, as we draw to end of my Gordon’s Hell’s Kitchen. Remember all the fun we’ve had? Sniff. Wait. I’m getting a memo from my assistant telling me … oh, yes. We still have the finals! So I will tie up my personal pork loin and proceed.

Jay and Holii and Holli and Jay. Yeah, I called it. But I don’t want to sound like Benjamin. By the way. Did I tell you how happy I was to see the back of his front exiting Hell’s Kitchen? My husband was trying to Gaslight me at the end there, saying my Gordon wouldn’t get rid of him to up the ratings. Pfft! It’s no wonder I have a separate apartment in East Lettingshire (that Gordon pays for) in order to get away sometimes. However, that’s a story for another time.

For now, let’s start with the challenge. You know I loves me a challenge. This time, it was to replicate a dish that is currently being served at the Savoy, where the winning contestant will become chef. Gordon asked everyone to dress for the occasion.

I must interject here, that unless Jay throws up on Gordon, steals the utensils and kills Jean Phillipe, he’s gonna win this thing. But! The guy has got to get rid of the blue hair and get some fashion sense. He showed up in jeans and a ratty old shirt. Really dear? Please see me for a makeover. I know I rarely wear makeup, and my favorite fabric is cotton but I could teach you a lil thing or two, Jay. After all, I grew up in Grosse Pointe. And that’s all I have to say about that.

So. Jay almost won the challenge, but he didn’t know beef from deer. He’s an executive chef, so that was a boo boo. Instead, we see Holli win again, and go boating with her cute son and baby-daddy. The losers have to listen to Autumn drone on and on. Good Golly. That girl talks more than my Mother when you get her on the subject of … well …pick one. Then walk away from the phone for half an hour, cause you got time.

When we return, there is a “Ben” debacle. Leave it to Ben. In my opinion, he was so pissed that he lost the challenge, that he faked this whole back problem drama. If you have ever known anyone with back issues, then you were shaking your head and swearing at the TV so hard you threw your own back out, listening to all his phony complaints. Hear me now, and believe me later. There is no way that Ben could’ve been in that much pain, slept, hot tubbed, seen a medic, told his sob story to Gordon … and then bounced around the kitchen like that. No. Way. Idiot.

And the rest of the contestants knew it. Ben didn’t fool anyone with these theatrics. The only thing missing was lipstick and “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.” But he got a good pout in and missed eight hours of prep work, didn’t he? Crafty? Um, yeah. If you want to cut off your own foot when you’re about to get rescued from the bear trap! To pull this stunt when you’re in the final four was suicide. The lead chef that my Gordon is looking for would show up at work with his ear freshly bitten off! And then pureed it with pesto and served it with a lovely angel hair pasta! Yeesh. Have I said “idiot?”

Anyway, as it should’ve been, everyone at dinner service did really well. Each took a turn being the lead chef, and most passed the mustard.

Ben and Autumn are gone, and now it’s “lovers turned rivals.” Oh my. Is it bad that I am rubbing my hands together in gleeful anticipation? Jay rubbed her butt in the hot tub, and now he has to kick her ass! I love this show!

Hmm? Oh, that’s the maid telling me it’s time for a stroll in an English Garden with a certain someone. See you at the finals! Don’t be a donkey and leave me now!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Aug 03, 2010 @ 23:42 EST5EDT