We may be afraid to depict sex on television, but there seems to be no deterrent to using veiled and wide open references to get everyone’s mind riled up.
Mike & Molly
“Molly’s coming over Saturday night.” – Mike
“You dirty, dirty dog.” – Samuel
“All right. I told you he’d get laid before the Cubs won a World Series.” – Carl
“Now is your apartment ready for entertaining a lady? ‘Cause the last time I saw your bathtub it looked like you’d washed a gorilla in it.” –Carl
“Don’t worry. I’m going after it with a grill brush and some degreaser. Plus, I’m buying a new shower curtain, nice sheets, some of that liquid soap the ladies seem to favor.’” – Mike
“Good idea. Now you don’t have to worry about plucking your pubes outta the Irish Spring.”- Carl
“Oh, that is tedious work. I live with five roommates. Our soap looks like a wet cat.”-Samuel
“What the hell kind of name is Ruckle?” – Taylor
“You stay golden, Julie Taylor.” – Landry, not in the least bit distracted while getting a lap dance
“I’m going to go sit with them … From what I hear, badminton players know how to handle the shuttlecock.” – Chuck
“If you’re here to deliver any further humiliation, Dorota can sign for it.” – Blair
“I have no idea what is going on in this script, and it’s not in a cool Inception kind of way.” – Finn
“When I was younger I took my sister to the show. The audience was so enraged having a disabled person in their midst, know what they did? They threw toast at us.” – Sue describing her experience at a Rocky Horror screening
“Is there a way I could wear like some gold board shorts or something? These are really short and I’m afraid I’m going to show off some nuttage.” – Sam feeling uncomfortable in his Rocky Horror costume
“Give me some chocolate or I will cut you.” – Becky to Mr. Shue
“You have to apply to preschool? I thought you just showed up on the first day, like college.” – Bobby
“You know what? I think I’m just going to wait until dinner.” – Laurie, turning down a glass of wine
“I have no response to that.” – Jules
“You’re Dom DeLuise dressed as Burt Reynolds. It’s genius.” – Grayson, commenting on Andy’s costume
“It’s like dating a god … or Bono.” – Lois
“Yummy. And to think you fixed all this without a KitchenAid or Costco.” – Lois commenting on her dinner with the villagers
“These Holy Rollers from Hell want to make me a human sacrifice so they can grow bigger tomatoes.” – Lois