Hell’s Kitchen – This just screams “Eat me!”

Of course, you know by now if you’re a Hell’s Kitchen devotee, that this review is going to be mostly about the hated and dreaded Elise. So, I probably should have used her photo instead of this steamy one of my Gordon Ramsay. If she would have gotten kicked off, I would have featured her. But she didn’t (actually no one got the whisk this week), and I’ve had a crappy day, so right now it’s all about me. He’s a cutie, no? Onward…

Is Elise making you crazy or what? The more I watch her in action, I realize she may be crazy like a fox. I’ve figured out her strategy. If she makes all the remaining chefs around her turn into twirling angry lunatics, she has a better chance of winning. I’ve had several people in my life just like her. They feed off drama and chaos. It energizes them, and makes them feel ridiculously powerful. Thank goodness I can pick them out of a crowd in a flash, and have learned how to politely but firmly deal. The secret? Simple. It’s not to give them the fight and upset they’re craving. If the contestants around Elise would refuse to tango, she eventually would have no recourse but to just freaking stop it. But, the pressure’s on with only the five of them left, wanting to impress Gordon, being televised and also … they’re all fairly young still. Some life lessons take awhile. And I do realize they’ve all just had it with her.

But when you get up in someone’s face and lose it? Well, no good can come it. I’m talking to you, Will and Paul.

I was glad Will won the challenge with his meatloaf, and actually surprised that Elise did so well. Obviously, she has some skill. But with her ‘tude? (Yes I’m talking about the lip pursing, chin lifting stare downs she does when questioned by Gordon, lack of communication skills, blatant lying and overall loud rudeness. I’m calling it right now. She won’t win this show.) My GR is no dummy, ya know.

And, while it was great to see Ben (geez he looks different!), Tennille, Trev, Jillian (who I always liked) and Van again, are you kidding me that they couldn’t win dinner service? They know exactly what to expect from HK! So that was a bit of a surprise. The best part of the returning chefs? The montage of Trev talking about how he’s learned to be so “calm, cool and collected” in the kitchen since we last saw him, interspersed with him chasing his tail and panicking during dinner service. Chortle.

So, no one leaves and everyone’s happy. Oh, except everyone who has to manage Elise for another week. And the previews for the next episode promise even more B.S. from her. *rubs hands together in glee* Hey, I said I understand people like her. I didn’t say that it’s not just a little bit fun sometimes to watch her confuffle everyone. I’m only human.

P.S. — My headline is a quote from one of the judges in the first challenge. Eye grabbing, don’t cha know.

P.P.S. — Jennifer? Why’d you open your big mouth to Paul about your secret crush?

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Sep 06, 2011 @ 02:10 EST5EDT