Hell’s Kitchen – Okay … it’s a setup!

I’ve had a tough time with my Gordon Ramsay lately. First off, let me tell you this story: On Thursday of last week? I took part in my third FOX teleconference with Gordon, hoping against hope that this would be the call he’d have time for me and CliqueClack to answer my (our) question. I had everything ready. I was comfy. I had my cigarettes and Coca Cola within reach. (Yes, I smoke. Don’t start.) I had my opening comment and question written out verbatim, with two backups in case someone before me should swipe mine.

Well! If you have a question on these conferences, they ask that you press “star one.”  So there I sat, pressing profusely. Then, the moderator broke into my line and said, “Ms. Shrodes? Do you have a question for Chef Ramsay?” My heart revved up a thousand beats. “Absolutely,” I assured him. “Well, we can see that. You can stop pressing star one now, and please hold.”

Finally! I was going to get to talk with him! Ha! As fate would have it, since he was nine minutes late for the teleconference? He ran out of time. I know. Try not to be sad for me. C’est la guerre, right?

So, that’s my first problem with Gordon since my last review of Hell’s Kitchen.

My next problem continues to involve Elise Wims, pictured so prominently above. Deep breath, Tara. Alright, here’s the skinny. She’s been on the carpet what, like seven times now? And yet she still skates through each and every time? She messed up at least four hundred bucks worth of salmon this week by  not listening to a simple phrase from Gordon himself … “cook it with the skin on.” She hasn’t won a challenge in awhile. And! All of this is aside from her radically hateful personality. To quote my sixth grade boyfriend, “She lies like a rug!” She did it last week. She lied this week, about Jennifer not giving her a verbal time when they were working together.  She uses Will and Paul (geez are they clueless) to cover for her in a myriad of different ways. What’s wrong with them? In one interview they’ll say they’re on to her, and in the next tell my Gordon that Jennifer should go home, as Elise can cook better.

Were Will and Paul not in the same dinner service that I was? Yes, Jennifer is uncommunicative. But she did well in the first challenge. Much better than Elise. However, all it took was a little private talk instigated by Elise to sway them. Men!

And how can my Gordon possibly let this continue? Because he’s playing the ratings game. People will watch Elise to see more drama. Geez! I, for one, have had enough already.

So those are my problems. And what would have been my question on the teleconference? Well, I’ll let that percolate in your brain. Cause one day? This guy is going to get to me. Somehow. Even if I have to press “star one” until my fingers bleed.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Sep 13, 2011 @ 12:00 EST5EDT