Hell’s Kitchen – Finale time!

So here’s Will and Paul. As you know by now, they were the two finalists on Hell’s Kitchen in this ninth season, which I predicted a while back. (Don’t give me too much credit. Really, the cast of chefs was a bunch of yahoos this year.) And though Paul took it all; the two hundred and fifty thou, and the title of head Chef at BLT Steak in New York, I think his win was more about his passion than about his cooking ability.

No doubt Paul has wanted this badly all along. He’s told us enough times! And he really did throw himself into everything he did. Still. I’m no Gordon Ramsay, (I mean who is, except that lovely fluff of English puff pastry himself?) but I really did think that Will was a better leader and culinary artist overall. Plus? We found out tonight that Will’s wife is named Tara, which of course put me staunchly in his corner. (I was also beyond thrilled to hear Gordon say my name when introducing her in the family segment. Hmmm? Oh, sorry. I was just rewinding that part again.)

What was I saying? Oh! I was thinking. Since you saw the show and I saw the show, and it was an entire two hour sendoff that maybe I’d forgo the synopsis, and just give you some “musings from my comfy armchair.” Sound good? Capital! Then let’s go …

• Tommy, Tommy – Your extensive tats were already against you. Maybe profusely making out with your girlfriend in front of your Mom and Gordon wasn’t really that great of an idea. I mean, really. Would a professional, highly paid person get caught doing that? Hmm. I mean, if he wasn’t a member of Congress, that is?
• Elise, Elise – lurking at what others are doing when you don’t know what to do your own self. Conniving and sabotaging til the end. And that comment you made to Will about him trying to “f@#k me with my pants on?” Niiiiice! Or my favorite quote of last night, when you had to help Carrie on garnish … “As always, Captain Save a Ho!” Perfect! The tears and shaking were a good touch as well. Look. I’m not saying you can’t cook, girlfriend. You really stepped it up and helped Paul mightily. But learn from the ‘tude. Or, as Gordon said, “Take this (experience) and run with it. Just stop being such a bitch!”
• Jennifer, Jennifer — Woah. Stop hiding food under your bed. For many, many reasons.
• Will, Will – It made sense to pick Krupa to try and get Carrie and Elise to cat fight Paul right out of the competition. But it backfired, didn’t it? You waited too long to pull Krupa from the fish station, and ended up screwing yourself. With your own pants on. Karma, dude. Kar-ma. And I was rooting for you and Tara, I really was. Ah well.
• Paul, Paul – Good going. I hope your Mom saw the whole thing! Congrats!
• Gordon, my Gordon -- I have no words. Except the ones I carved in the tree in front of your estate in NorthHampstead Newfrankinshire.

What? Was I not supposed to say anything?? Sorry. Editors? Can you just take out that last bit? Thanks.

And thank you all, as ever, for playing along this season!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Sep 20, 2011 @ 00:28 EST5EDT