New Girl – All women are bad

First? The Men.

Men do things. Sometimes, they do strange things, stupid things, inane things, things a normal person wouldn’t think of doing. They put on “airs of challenge” when someone conducts virtual territory pissing in their direction. In many ways, it’s a natural reaction. (And by the way: Women aren’t immune to these airs; they just conduct them in different ways.) And that, my friends, is why we had the tiffy little match which escalated comically between Schmidt and Winston as a result of the former wearing his too-short-to-be-viewably-comfortable-to-anyone kimono. Winston’s strange, stupid, inane retaliatory reaction? Tissue on and out and about his person. Didn’t that entire portion of the show just make your evening? It did mine. (And how do I know about these “airs” you might ask? Let’s just say if you asked me about any real-life experience where they may be concerned, I might need to “take the fifth” as any information disseminated may or may not be grounds for incrimination.)

And by the way: If you think otherwise about said “airs” … not believing they exist in men and women? You’re not male … or female. But I think we all know you know better.

Now: The Women.

Women are strange creatures. They have the power. They weave webs. They put on their own unique “airs” … and quite spectacularly I might add. Case in point? Cece, Jess’ tall-drink-of-water best friend on New Girl. It’s completely possible for her to elicit reaction and attract … and nine ways to Sunday, I might add. Without even trying. Schmidt’s insane acrobatics should have removed all doubt of that fact. His supposed coolness is infused with so much “Schmidt” — the “coolness” and the “Schmidt-isms” constantly struggling with each other — that it results in the antics you saw as he got all jacked up at the prospect of scoring with Cece. That’s power. Power she wasn’t even trying to exude.

Need more examples? Two come to mind right off the top of my head: Her simple commands to Schmidt about heading to the roof and her simpler demand Winston make her a sandwich. Talk about pulling virtual strings without even lifting a finger.

It just goes to show you: All Women Are Bad.

Lux Interior of The Cramps said it best:

Samson and Delilah, talkin’ bout groomin’
Delilah said “Sam, you don’t look human”
Took some scissors, went snip-snip, said “Now everybody’s gonna think you’re hip”
Sam felt his head and said “All women are bad …”

 Notes:

• You’ve just gotta love Schmidt … and feel sorry for him at the same time. Especially when he goes on his calm, absurd rants. He puts so much into them, you’re left with the need to tip your hat at his wit while rolling your eyes back into your head.
• I hate to admit it, but I will now be cognizant of my feet and where they’re pointing when I’m talking to someone. Dammit.
• How are blue flats fashionable? Especially with what Jess was wearing while out with Nick? Can someone explain this too me, please?
• Speaking of Winston (yes … I was speaking of Winston) Lamorne Morris has transitioned soooooooo comfortably into his role on the show I realize I’ve completely forgotten about Damon Wayans Jr. from the pilot.

Quotes:

“Are you sheep doggin’ her?” — Winston questioning Schmidt as he “herds” Cece in a direction he wants her to go

“I’m disappointed in you! I thought you were better than that!” — Jess to Nick in the bathroom with the rest of the guys while Cece is showering
“I know … I am … sometimes.” — Nick

“You can’t walk around this neighborhood with bags of toilet paper you don’t even use …” — Nick reprimanding Jess

“I’m not like you! I don’t just jump in the potato sack with the first potato that I meet with diabetes … bitch …” — Jess to Cece … followed immediately by laughter between the two of them

“You … come on … get up …” — Cece coaxing Nick to dance
“No, I don’t dance. I’m from the town in Footloose …” — Nick

“What is between you and that chair?” — Winston asking about Schmidt’s mini-kimono he’s wearing … and seemingly nothing else
“Just a little bit of sunshine.” — Schmidt

“I just wanna come home … put on my ‘moe-no’ (kimono) and hang loose …” — Schmidt

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Nov 09, 2011 @ 12:00 EST5EDT