Hell’s Kitchen’s back for season ten. Did you miss it?

First I have to say … under a certain contract that I signed, it is illegal for me to talk about the fabulous time that My Gordon er, I mean Chef Gordon Ramsay and I enjoyed over the long hiatus. You will simply have to be satisfied knowing that we were kicked out of Morocco for dancing on table tops with roses in our teeth.

Seriously. I can tell you no more.

But I can report that Gordon has his work cut out for him with these eighteen contestants chosen for Hell’s Kitchen this season. All of them claim the title of sous, executive or private chef. Yet, we saw little evidence of such skills in the season ten opener tonight.

Take Tavon (and I guess he is up for grabs considering he was the first one kicked) for example. His signature dish was a mess. (Gordon called it “Bad. Hideous. Rank. Alfredo? My ass.”) Then Tavon butchered beautiful and expensive scallops to stall the men’s dinner service. And he undercooked that poor squab, who gave it’s life for nothing. What a hack.

Also? I do believe Tavon called Chef Ramsay a “douchebag” when he was sent back up to the dorms from dinner service.

Geez. That, my friends, is not how an eventual winner of Hell’s Kitchen and right hand at the restaurant “Gordon Ramsay Steak at Paris Las Vegas” would behave. (Um, Gordon? This is a rather long and nonsensical title for a place. Perhaps you could reconsider. My suggestion would be something along the lines of “Gordon and Tara Do Vegas.” Let’s talk.)

Anyhow, as usual, we saw the men and women get split up into separate teams. So far, even though they didn’t complete dinner service either, I have more hope for the women’s team this time around. It’s just a feeling I have. I hope I’m not wrong, and the girls don’t start getting off track with kitty fighting and name calling, which seems to screw up so many feminine teams on these reality shows.

It’s rather hard to focus on too many personalities during the first few episodes of a show like this. I mean, there are eighteen (oops strike that) I mean seventeen different contestants to get to know. But I can tell you right now that Roshni, Royce, and Clemenza won’t be with us for long. The first two because they’re way out of their league. And Clemenza, because at some point, the big coughing dude will bow under the physical pressure.

What did you think of My Gordon’s kick off for season ten? Are you glad he’s back? Or are you staying out of the kitchen because it’s too hot?

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jun 04, 2012 @ 22:28 EST5EDT