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True Blood – There’s a new vampire in Bon Temps

The 'True Blood' season premiere resolves all its cliffhangers one by one -- including the big twist introduction of a new vampire! Why does any of this surprise me, though?

- Season 5, Episode 1 - "Turn! Turn! Turn!"

True Blood‘s season premiere wasted no time in revealing that Tara would become a vampire by the end of the hour. I don’t know why I thought Tara wouldn’t be a vampire, really. Maybe because I wanted her to be gone, and that it was clear to the show runners that the horror show that was her life had been played out. Speaking of returns from the  dead, I am glad Russell is coming back. If no one really dies on this show, I am glad this applies to him.

Can there be a Bill and Eric bromance this season? They can be pretty funny together. I’ll be glad to see Eric concentrate on his “sister” Nora for a while rather than Sookie. (And I guess vampire incest is less gross than human?) Anyway, a whole season of vampire bureaucracy is being set up for their storyline … zzzz.  I think the show thinks that this stuff is more interesting than it is. The presence of Russell will help liven it up, hopefully.

Steve Newlin is back. “Sure! I can’t glamor! Now invite me in! And ask me to put this tape over your mouth.” Ah, Jason — still dumb as a ton of bricks. The vampire and gayness equation the show trots out  is too literal in this storyline. There has to be something else to it and there probably will be. Jessica was badass coming to his rescue. Maybe now that Tara is a vampire and Sookie is trying to take care of herself more, Jason will become the show’s damsel in distress — but please, no more werepanthers raping him. Oh, and hey, he’s still a deputy, and Hoyt still hates him … but he gives up a coed for Jessica, so I guess his arc this season will be character growth.

Notes and Quotes:

  • Why do we care about Marcus’ death and all the werewolves?
  • Welcome back, credit sequence! You are one of the best on TV!
  • Sam and Jason are both naked within the first ten or so minutes. Then we get naked Eric later. This show is good for fans who appreciate the male physique, but how about some Alcide? Pretty please?
  • I am glad Sookie wanted to kill Debbie. Maybe she will be taking a very welcome level in badass this season. This, and decreasing screen time for third stringers and avoiding vampire government, is how I would improve the show. They should also get rid of were-anything, and… oh, I’ll shut up now. To be clear: I enjoy this show and I will try to take it for what it is most of the season, but it does have problems.
  • I am glad they gave Lafayette time to grieve over Jesus rather than just barreling forward as they are with everything else. I liked them together. It makes sense that this is the impetus behind the vampirization of Tara.
  • Andy and Holly are a thing now. And Scott Foley hangs with Terry and his family, and they have an Iraq secret. This show needs to stop trying to service 1000 tertiary characters.
  • I wanna play Rock Band with Jason and Jessica.
  • Pam on Vampire Tara: “Who’s to say she won’t rise up out of the ground completely and utterly fucktarded?”
  • Pam to Sookie: “If you can use your magic hands or your super snatch or whatever power it is you have over Eric to fix what’s broken between us and you’ll still owe me one, you’ve got yourself a deal.”
  • Pam to Sookie and Lafayette: “I am wearing a Wal-Mart sweatsuit for y’all — if that’s not a demonstration of team spirit, I don’t know what is.” Pam pretty much makes this show nowadays.
  • Steve to Jason: “There’s something I’ve been gathering up the courage to tell you from the moment I found out you were sleeping with  my wife… What hurt me is that she got to sleep with you.” Not surprised this is the nicest “I Love You” Jason has ever gotten.
  • Jason to Steve’s declaration: “This dog don’t bark that way.”
  • Steve to Jason: “My dead heart beats for you — the least you can do is try.” Aww?
  • Bill to a rutting Eric and Nora: “Keep the noise down in there. New Orleans is only sixty miles away.”
  • Eric about Nora: “We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions.”
  • Eric’s new identity: “Ike Applebaum.”
  • Oh, “Turn! Turn! Turn!” I see what you did there, show.


Photo Credit: HBO

8 Responses to “True Blood – There’s a new vampire in Bon Temps”

June 11, 2012 at 8:43 AM

You’re so wrong about the Vampire Government. It’s one of the main things I’m looking forward to this season (Since the other one, Tara’s death, was ripped from my grasp once again).

June 11, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Sigh… vampire Tara.

I think they can make the government interesting, but I don’t trust them to. We shall see.

June 11, 2012 at 11:23 AM

If they like bringing back dead characters, I would’ve preferred to see Jesus brought back over Tara!

I like this show, but the books are so much better! There is so much more to the wolves and their fights for pack leader in the books, that’s probably why they are slowly building up to it.

June 11, 2012 at 11:46 AM

Well, we don’t have Jesus’ bod, so it could happen, right?

I can see the wolf thing is going to come to a head, but if it’s important maybe they cold try cutting out some of the zillions of other plots in order to make us care about it. They almost certainly won’t spend enough time on this for it to be interesting.

June 11, 2012 at 12:01 PM

Yeah, I wondered if someone stole his body to resurrect him…I’m hoping so! I really liked him and Lafayette together.

June 11, 2012 at 8:53 PM

They haven’t had zombies yet, so why not?

June 11, 2012 at 9:39 PM

Brainless vampire tara will by a more pain in the…. that normal Tara… wish she would say dead!!!

June 14, 2012 at 6:38 AM

I agree, I am very sad to see Tara resurrected as a vampire. While I liked her character at the very beginning of the series I feel like she has overstayed her welcome and could have departed the series 2 seasons ago. I thought it made for a much better story that she could not be brought back. When she popped up at the end I, for one, was disappointed.

Same goes for the ‘1000s of tertiary characters’ as someone else mentioned, the problem with this show is that there are way too many story-lines and it makes it difficult to go into any of them in depth. I like Terry well enough, but I am not really interested in his Iraq secret storyline. I actually think the vampire government issues make for much more interesting viewing. After all vampires are why I started watching the show in the first place.

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