If ever there was a waste of time episode of Hell’s Kitchen, this was it. And that’s surprising because there was a lot going on … except a dinner service where all the real action takes place. But noooooooo! The episode starts off with a completely inane chicken wing eating contest between Brian & Justin for the Blue team and Tiffany & Barbie for Red. And, to make it interesting they had to compete against Gordon. NOT! No, they had to compete against world champion eater Joey Chestnut. Guess who won $500. But what was the point of the contest? It didn’t do anything to further the competition for the grand prize.
That was followed by the Blind Taste Test, and of course the four chefs with the now-fried palates had to guess such ordinary flavors as pineapple, turkey, and sweet potatoes. I’ve never eaten anything with my eyes closed, but is it really that difficult to tell the difference between turkey (and scallop) and tofu? Really? And I’m pretty sure that shallots taste like onions, but apparently they aren’t even related to the onion family (thank you Shallots.com) so the guesses of “onion” weren’t as acceptable as I thought they were. In all the years this challenge has been presented, no one has ever gotten all four ingredients correct … until now! Congratulations, Justin! If anyone in this group deserves to win, it’s him because everyone else, except for Brian (maybe), are useless, terrible people (who would want to work for and with any of them?).
And the worst of the bunch are Tiffany and Kimmie. Over the course of the two episodes I’ve covered, I have grown to loathe both of these women. Tiffany just thinks her stuff don’t stink. She puts herself above everyone, she’s bossy and condescending, and she can’t take constructive criticism such as when someone tells her that her potatoes are crispy (i.e. raw). She doesn’t care, because she knows fine dining where, I assume, potatoes are supposed to be presented raw. I’ll stick to my diner food, thank you very much.
Kimmie is just hateful. She wants to boss everyone around, yet she won’t step up to take a challenge. When it came to the Blind Taste Test, the Red team had one extra player. Barbie’s palate was fried from the wing eating so Kimmie could have stepped up to the plate (she certainly looks like she knows what food tastes like). But, ever the team player, Kimmie sat this challenge out … and then got all up in Barbie’s grill (cooking competition … grill … get it?) during the punishment task — yes, the Red team lost while the Blue team spent the day at a water park — for spending most of her time on the trucks moving boxes and bags of ice to the front so the rest of the women could haul them into the kitchen. Kimmie just got ugly, and it’s a surprise no one got whacked over the head with a bag of ice.
Barbie didn’t do herself any favors during dinner prep when she spent over two hours cleaning mussels (and Clemenza spent 45 minutes cleaning the new, clean smock he immediately got covered in food), and Kimmie was ready to bash her brains in with a rolling pin. It’s getting ugly in there, folks! But still, even with all of this going on, it still seemed like nothing really happened because there was no dinner service. It was Red vs Blue all night, but we still don’t have a winner because of those three dreaded words: To Be Continued. I say just send ‘em all home and give Justin the prize so we can get to Ramsay’s next show, Hotel Hell.
Clacked by Chuck Duncan 
on Jul 16, 2012 @ 21:58 EST5EDT
