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South Park shows we’ve been measuring penis size all wrong

'South Park' does it again with an opening joke ripped from the headlines, while lots of angry dudes got pretty pissed off because of, well, penis size calculations. Here are some memorable quotes.

- Season 15, Episode 4 - "T.M.I."

“… And so then it turns out that Terminator secretly had a kid ten years ago, meaning Terminator could be his own father! Then Skeletor gets angry and wants to fight him!” – Butters
“No, dude, that’s not the trailer for Terminator 5. That really happened.” – Kyle
“Skeletor’s real?!” – Butters
“No, dude, that’s not Skeletor, that’s Terminator’s wife.” – Stan
“Skeletor’s a lady?!” – Butters

“You made everyone get measured with witnesses, you have to too.” – Stan
“Well what’re you guys gonna do? Use a tape measure and measure my penis yourselves? Are you homos?!” – Cartman
“You just did that to everybody in class!” –  Stan

“Oh God. Why couldn’t I have just taken a minute to think about it?” – Cartman
“Because you have an anger problem, Eric!” – Principal
“Fuck you! No I don’t!” – Cartman

“How do you think you would react if I said some negative things about you?” – Therapist
“Honestly I wouldn’t really care.” – Cartman
“What if I were to tell you that I think you’re fat? I think you’re a fat little boy. I think you’re waaaay too fat for your age. Does that make you feel any anger? Huh fatty? Jelly belly? You got jelly in your belly, you little fat fuck? You get a little flash of anger when someone tells you you got tits like a 40-year-old woman? Fat boy! Huh? You like that shitty-titty jelly-belly? Oh yeah, he’s a big boy! Get that fatty some mudflaps for his ass. Ol’ jiggly fatty butt!” – Therapist

“The fourth grade boys measured their penises and posted the results in the school hallway.” – Principal
“Ooooh dear.” –  Randy Marsh
“Now, we realize this issue can have a troubling affect that can get blown out of proportion.” – Principal
“Did they measure from the base or from the balls?” – Randy Marsh

“You boys measured your penis length. The truth is, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is: length times diameter, plus weight over girth, divided by angle of of the tip squared.” – Randy Marsh

“Look, if somebody order the sheety beef, and-a complain because they say they order the sheety shrimp, it’s not my fault he gets the sheety chicken poured all over his fucking head!” – Asian in anger management

“And so, by dividing the weight and the girth of the penis by the angle or the — what do we call it again? The yaw. The yaw of the shaft. What we finally get is the adjusted penis size, or T.M.I.. Any questions so far? Yes, little girl over there.” – Randy Marsh
“What’s a penis?” – Girl

Photo Credit: Comedy Central

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