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A look at some of Spinal Tap’s more colorful song lyrics and album covers

When you make a satire of rock ‘n’ roll such as ‘This Is Spinal Tap,’ you better believe the band’s fictitious album covers and song lyrics are going to be extremely over the top. Join me as I take a look at some of the most colorful ones featured. Warning: Not for the faint of heart or the easily offended.

I’m pretty sure the first time I heard of Spinal Tap was thanks to an episode of The Simpsons in 1992 called “The Otto Show.” Harry Shearer (who plays Derek Smalls in the movie This Is Spinal Tap) also does several of the voices on The Simpsons, so it was a natural crossover for the group to perform a rock concert in Springfield. Their rock concert quickly goes awry and ends up turning into a full-blown riot with Milhouse and Bart among the rebel-rousers.

After seeing how cool the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle must be, Bart decides he wants to be a rock guitarist and for some reason Homer and Marge buy him an electric guitar so he can pursue his new passion. Needless to say, he doesn’t stick with it and the episode ends up being more about Otto than anything, but once I’d seen the film several years later in high school, I appreciated this cameo all the more.

What I love most about Spinal Tap is their colorful song lyrics and irreverent fictitious album covers shown in the movie. You see the covers for “brilliant” albums such as Shark Sandwich, Intravenus de Milo and The Gospel According to Spinal Tap. What else would you expect from an album titled Intravenus de Milo other than seeing the famous statue with an IV hooked up to it? The Gospel According to Spinal Tap depicts the band members as saints etched in stained-glass windows one would find in a cathedral. But I think the cover Shark Sandwich is my favorite because it is just so absurd and it perfectly set up the joke for a two-word review of the album calling it a “shit sandwich.”

Throughout the movie, the band is on tour for their new album titled Smell the Glove. The band apparently wanted its cover to feature “a greased naked woman on all fours on a leash being forced to smell a black leather glove,” which the record company found too offensive to release. The album ends up being released without a cover – it’s just a black cover without the name of the band or the album on it. In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, “D’oh!”

I knew Spinal Tap ended up releasing several CDs throughout the years since making the movie because somewhere I own a copy of their effort Break Like the Wind. While doing research for this piece, I turned up several other interesting album titles, including Warmer than Hell, Bitch School (featuring a cover similar to what they wanted for Smell the Glove) and the perennial holiday favorite, Christmas with the Devil.

If I were forced to pick a favorite Spinal Tap song, it would be either “Stonehenge” or “Cups and Cakes.” I’ve decided to end this column on a high note. (Not really.) Here are the lyrics for some of the most memorable songs sung in the film for your viewing (sorry, not listening) pleasure. Catch you on the flip side:

“Sex Farm”
Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
Poking your hay

Sex farm woman, I’m gonna mow you down
Sex farm woman, I’ll rake and hoe you down
Sex farm woman, don’t you see my silo rising high?

Stonehenge! Where the demons dwell
Where the banshees live and they do live well
Stonehenge! Where a man’s a man
And the children dance to the Pipes of Pan


Stonehenge! ‘Tis a magic place
Where the moon doth rise with a dragon’s face
Stonehenge! Where the virgins lie
And the prayers of devils fill the midnight sky

And you my love, won’t you take my hand?
We’ll go back in time to that mystic land
Where the dew drops cry and the cats meow
I will take you there, I will show you how

“Hell Hole”
The window’s dirty, the mattress stinks
This ain’t no place to be a man
I ain’t got no future, I ain’t got no past
And I don’t think I ever can

I’m living in a hell hole
Don’t want to stay in this hell hole
Don’t want to die in this hell hole
Girl, get me out of this hell hole

“Pop, Look & Listen (Gimme Some Money)”
Stop wasting my time
You know what I want
You know what I need
Or maybe you don’t
Do I have to come right
Flat out and tell you everything?
Gimme some money
Gimme some money

“Big Bottom”
The bigger the cushion
The sweeter the pushin’
That’s what I said
The looser the waistband
The deeper the quicksand
Or, so I have read
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

“Cups & Cakes”
Cups and cakes, cups and cakes
Oh what good things mother makes!
You’ve gotta take tea, won’t you take it with me?
What a gay time it will be

Cups and cakes, cups and cakes
Please make sure that nothing breaks
The china’s so dear and the treacle so clear
And I’m glad that you are here

“(Listen to the) Flower People”
Listen to what the flower people say
Listen! It’s getting louder every day
Listen! It’s like a bolt out of the blue
Listen! It could be calling out for you

Flower people, walk on by
Flower people, don’t you cry
It’s not too late, No
It’s not too late …

Photo Credit: MGM

Categories: Features, General

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