It’s Not Meat, It’s You – Let me explain…

I am breaking up with meat. First, I thought maybe meat and I could just slow things down a bit and not see each other as often, but now I realize it’s just not working out. Still, it’s hard to let go. It’s been well over a year since I’ve started distancing myself, but I still eat poultry or fish up to three times a week. After all, I’ve been with meat pretty much my entire life.

So, I’m sure you want to know, what has meat ever done that’s so wrong? Well, nothing really. There a few reasons why I’m trekking down the crunchy granola path to vegetarianism, and most of them have to do with people.

First on that list of people is myself. See, if you were to call me a bleeding heart, that would be a gross understatement. My heart is a veritable waterfall of gushing blood for any and every living thing. I was cleaning a window the other day, and there was an itty bitty spider right where I was about to spray the cleaner, so I picked him up and put him somewhere he wouldn’t die bathed in chemicals. You get the idea.

I have a big problem with the way the majority of animals raised for food are treated while they’re alive, which is basically like they’re already dead. That said, even livestock allowed to graze peacefully in an open meadow still has to be led into the slaughterhouse before it ends up on my plate as steak, and that just doesn’t make me feel any better about it. Because what it really all comes down to is dogs.

In some parts of the world, people eat dogs. And yes, cats too. And the thing you’ll probably think is funny is, I’m alright with that. Now before you go all Brigitte Bardot and say that people that eat dogs and cats are barbarians, just think about it for a minute. To me, it seems kind of silly to judge people for eating one animal while gobbling down another. So if this makes any sense, I’m going vegetarian because (among other more rational reasons) I wouldn’t want to eat a dog.

Still, I don’t believe that everyone should be a vegetarian. I had an interesting conversation with my brother the other day, about my reasons for wanting to give up meat. He’s spending a year in Korea, so of course we talked about the dog meat thing, but also about whether or not humans were ever meant to eat meat at all. He enlightened me with a little tidbit he learned (via the Discovery channel), that “meat is what gave us our enormous brains, which allows us to wax philosophical on eating the stuff.”

The theory here is that when early man started to eat large amounts of animal protein, his brain got a jumpstart of sorts and developed at breakneck speed, making us the people we are today. I’m not inclined to disagree with that theory, although I’ve looked all over the freakin’ interwebs and can’t find one official story on it — just a bunch of postings in various forums.

Some people were obviously meant to eat meat. Fellow Clacker Jeff hunts for his own meat, which in my mind is a noble thing. A lot of people I know here in Portugal raise chickens, rabbits, pigs, sheep and goats for their own consumption. And if I weren’t absolutely revolted by the idea of shooting a deer or slitting a rabbit’s throat, cutting its head off, skinning it, disemboweling it, and so on, it might’ve been an option.

Keith and Deb might not hunt (as far as I know!) but they sure as hell love them some raw fish, something I have actually tried and found it to be, well, not delicious. So since I’m incapable of being self-sufficient, and the idea of eating raw or even partially cooked meat or fish gives me the skeeves, I’m pretty sure the best option for me is to just not eat it.

So, for all you carnivores, I’m going to use this column to pass on the recipes that I’ll no longer be eating for you to enjoy. I’ll start with the ones I’ve already given up, because this break-up has already gone on so long, why not drag it out a little further? After that, each recipe I post will be sworn off my plate (although not my husband’s or my daughter’s), until there are none left, and meat and I will be over for good. Then, I’m going to have to think up a new idea for a new column. But in the meantime, I’ll be here reminiscing, and also probably ranting a little bit. Sound like a plan?