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Merlin – An episode review in iambic pentameter, “Ode to Merlin”

This week's 'Merlin' review of "Queen of Hearts" is written in iambic pentameter. Yes, an English sonnet, dedicated to the fans of the show.

- Season 3, Episode 10 - "Queen of Hearts"

Colin Morgan as Old Merlin

Hello, dear Merlin fans! Julia could not bring herself to watch “Queen of Hearts,” so to spare you a review consisting entirely of the words “WTF WTF WTF” repeated over and over a thousand times in ALL-CAPS, she asked me to fill in this week. I imagine other Merlin/Arthur shippers out there feel the same way (although if you haven’t watched the episode yet, I urge you to do so — Colin Morgan’s performance is brilliant and hysterical and not to be missed for anything in the world).

Now then, as an English major, every once in a while I like to write a Shakespearean sonnet, just for the heck of it. (Yes, this is a little bit weird. But it’s quite enjoyable if you like counting syllables.) I have decided to review this week’s episode in iambic pentameter. I call it “An Ode to Merlin,” but it’s dedicated to all you crazy shippers out there. (For those who don’t know what shipping is, it means being a fan of a particular relationship – like, um, Uther and Hunith.) I don’t ship, but I’m amazed at how passionate shippers can be. So this is for you.

Ode to Merlin, or How Merlin Saved the Day (Again)

Morgana’s worst nightmare, Gwen on the throne,
(Or is it Gwen’s fab gown she’s jealous of?)
Leads to a picnic lunch, Gwerthur alone
And snogging. Merthur shippers scream, “Enough!”

But Uther takes his Gwerthur hate too far,
And slaps the Once and Future Queen in jail.
Morgana smirks, and Arthur acts bizarre—
He mopes while there’s a burning to derail!

So as always he of the golden eyes
And cheekbones sharp must save his friends again.
One “How-To” book, and next he’s in the guise
Of Smart-Ass Elder Merlin (For The Win!).

He saves the show each week with no reward;
On this, my shipping friends, we’re in accord.

Okay, now it’s your turn. If you have a Merlin poem, haiku, or limerick, post it in the comments so Julia and I can enjoy your brilliance!

Photo Credit: BBC

Categories: | Episode Reviews | Features | General | Merlin | TV Shows |

20 Responses to “Merlin – An episode review in iambic pentameter, “Ode to Merlin””

November 14, 2010 at 9:54 AM

Merlin 3×10 Haiku

Merlin offers his life,
for his friend Arthur again,
and receives,
dung.

November 14, 2010 at 10:00 AM

LOL – nice one, Roswell. Pithy I call that.

November 14, 2010 at 9:58 AM

I think I must have stood in for Julia because that’s all I wanted to do was capslock WTF WTF WTF.

There once was a prince called Arthur
Who couldn’t have love said his father
So he kissed Merlin then
Did it over again
The audience screamed, “Take it farther.”

November 14, 2010 at 10:02 AM

Thanks, diane, this gave me a good laugh! :-)

November 14, 2010 at 11:07 AM

Ok, babe, I’ll also give a haiku.

Gwen is queen = is NOT!
Howard ends like season two;
And SLASH fans REJOICE!

Thank you for the props and Thank you, Howard Overman and Merlin BBC creators for understanding my needs ^_^

** Lol @ Gwerthur
**Did anyone not flail when Arthur wanted to take Merlin with him (and Gwen) to wherever. Something that Merlin didn’t think of when HE was planning a getaway with Freya? So who loves who more now? YES! See, blondie, we all knew that you would fall for those blue eyes + cheekbones-that-can-cut-glass eventually *wink wink*
** Lastly, at Gwen’s coronation, Merlin is still dressed to muck out the stables. So, he wasn’t made Court Magician (like what all futurefics said)? So, the big reveal hasn’t happened and magic is still banned? What?! And Gaius is alive!!! Gaius is currently in his 70s according to the maths of “Love in the time of Dragons”. He’d be 80 in this “premonition”. In the medieval times, where life expectancy is about 40s, how did Gaius stay alive and in good health? Is it magic?
** Gwen’s gown was not that pretty. Come on, Morgana’s night shift looks like it’s gotten better material! They could have gotten some decent Duchess silk. Heck, the troll’s wedding dress was way better!!! And the hair… THE HAIR! An up-do too much work?

November 14, 2010 at 11:19 AM

Hey there! Did you note the Uther/Hunith reference? That was totally for you. ;-)

I know, you’re right – Gwen’s gowns are never as nice as Morgana’s, but I was struggling for a rhyme. I plead poetic license!

November 14, 2010 at 11:39 AM

OMG!!! YEEEESSS!! Uther/Hunith is love :D :D :D **MASSIVE LOVE TO YOU** I don’t think a lot of people would go for that ship but I’m sticking to my OTP — like a good fan girl heehee :D

Gwen’s gowns are not your fault. It’s the costume department’s fault! The gold thing in the front was nice and the lacings on the sleeves was great! Admittedly, the costume department is UNTOUCHABLE and has been knighted for their service to fans who appreciate Bradley James’ abs/abs through sheer tunic. Which reminds me, we are severely lacking there this eps. My tequila bottle would attest to that. Although a new game can be formed around tallying the mention of “feelings” for this eps. I remember 3, but I have to re-tally at some point. I’ll let you know ^_^

Loved the eps ^_^

November 14, 2010 at 4:16 PM

I really liked Gwen’s gown. Very simple but those are really hard to make and I liked how it flowed. I saw that one and wanted it immediately.

November 14, 2010 at 4:46 PM

But Morgana seems to always get the more striking gowns. Lots of jewel colors and glittery stuff. I don’t think that’s Gwen’s style (she’s soft and flowing and feminine), but I would like to see her in something besides lavender and pink. My skin tone is similar to hers, and although I prefer to wear neutrals, I look better in richer colors. I imagine she would too.

November 15, 2010 at 12:55 AM

I also like Gwen’s gown and her hair, I though Gwen looked beautiful. As for the gowns that Morgana wears she is royalty, her gowns are suppose to look rich and lavish. I would love to see Gwen and Merlin in differen outfits but they are servants is that even feasible them having a closet full of beautiful clothes stashed somewhere just in the off chance they get invite to the ball instead of working it. They dress according to station in durable, comfortable clothing that is sturdy and can resist wear and tear.

November 15, 2010 at 12:49 AM

I happened here by link, is this an actual review site or an hate on gwen for getting in the way of merlin/arthur fansite I am confused.

November 15, 2010 at 8:33 AM

Hi Lauren!

I am not a Merlin/Arthur slash fan. And I love Gwen.

Of course, there are two different Merlin reviewers on this site – Julia (a Merlin/Arthur slash fan) and me (a non-shipper). So on this site, you will get two very different perspectives, depending on the writer.

Hope that answers your question. :-)

November 15, 2010 at 4:34 AM

Oh, Ruby, you are back. We like you, you know. I feel so sorry for Julia. Oh, I can understand her hiding away from the recent episode. It is really over-dramatic and I DON’T appreciate the character of Arthur in this episode AT ALL (Like Uther said “my son will never do that”, that is so TRUE).
Gwen’s character is safe in this episode. So I bet it is lucky for her after all the mess the writers have done in S2 to Gwen.

November 15, 2010 at 8:43 AM

Hi there! Even if you were unhappy with Arthur, this episode had plenty of wonderful Colin Morgan in it, right?

That’s essentially the meaning behind my sonnet – the shippers may fight and scream at each other, but the thing that unites all Merlin fans is our love of Merlin, the true hero of the show.

November 15, 2010 at 8:57 PM

Merlin. Oh, Merlin. He is. But I think it is more because of Colin Morgan.

November 15, 2010 at 12:22 PM

Richer colors FTW! Gwen’s costume in Season 1 had better color combo than this season. I totally loved her in the tanned thing she wore that season. Although her Season 2 & 3 gowns seemed to be better tailored ^_^ The sheer tunic thing underneath was a great touch.

I also don’t like Arthur in this eps… for one reason alone, which has nothing to do with character development and all that… I do not like that there was NO SHIRTLESS SCENE!!!

November 15, 2010 at 7:45 PM

Old man Merlin was the best part of my Saturday
I liked him so much, I watched it again yesterday
With his funny looks and rantings, this ep was a treat
And it wasn’t just him! I thought the whole thing was sweet!

Of course, Bradley and Angel are such lovely actors
I enjoyed (as a slasher) even the snog factors
Because fuck, let’s be fair, in NO WAY are they fugly
Speaking of–I can’t wait ’til next week to see Dudley!

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