As February turns to March, another sweeps month is over — meaning many shows are taking a break until April and May. March always serves as a sad reminder that summer is coming (despite what the Starks of Winterfell say) … so get your TV quote fix in while you still can!
Grimm (Review)
“Oh … look out. They ate a baby. That’s rude. Okay, okay … here we go. So … he caught up with the Shakal and, of course, cut off his head. You guys are really into that, aren’t you?” — Monroe studying Aunt Marie’s journal in the trailer
“Is there any indication what I’m up against with these Shakal?” — Nick
“Well, yeah! They’re baby-eating badasses, man. What more do you need to know?” — Monroe
The Voice (Review)
“I love you, Blake. We’re still gonna go fishing.” — Christina
“Yeah, I’m gonna drown you.” — Blake
“Blake, you are a real vocalist, and you’re a damn good one.” — Adam
“I love you, Adam.” — Blake
“I love you too. Totally in a non-sexual way.” — Adam
“…I can’t say the same.” – Blake
How I Met Your Mother (Review)
“I don’t know, bro. Look at me and that Quinn chick. You don’t hear me prattling on about how beautiful her smile is. How her hair is like a waterfall of honey-colored silk. How her eyes are like a warm south sea kissed by the fire and gold of sunrise. I don’t even remember what she looks like.” – Barney
“Dude, you obviously like her.” – Ted
“Can’t you read between the lines, Ted? I obviously like her!!” – Barney
“We just connected. Emotionally, intellectually, spiritually.” – Barney
“So? Mind blowing sex?” – Ted
“Mind blowing sex! God, for an hour afterwards I couldn’t uncross my eyes. Which was awesome because when I went back for seconds it was like having a three-way with twins.” – Barney
“Nothing says healthy like smoking 40 pounds of pork loin in an unventilated room while having a conversation with your ex.” – Imaginary Robin
“Just for that, you’re not getting any.” – Ted
“I’m not getting any? Good luck smoking your own meat! Oh!” – Imaginary Robin
“In a city of eight million people, you happened to walk in the club where she works. Maybe it’s destiny.” – Ted
“No, Destiny strips at the Melon Patch. They’re people Ted; try to keep them straight.” – Barney
“Dear Diary, it is day four on this island, which the natives have dubbed ‘Long Island.’ Perhaps referencing how each hour here feels like it will never end.” – Robin
“I like smoking meats, but I have a new passion: Wood.” – Ted
“You hear these things coming out of your mouth, right?” – Imaginary Robin
“If it’s not a date then why did she say every fifth dance was free?” – Barney
“Because that’s the Lusty Leopard’s policy on Friday nights, and I’m SO mad at you that I know that!” – Ted
“I can’t believe we’re at a strip club and the biggest boob in here is you.” – Ted
“Apparently you haven’t seen the DeSalvo twins … she’s right over there.” – Barney
“Hey, gorgeous? Want a dance?” – Karma
“Is it a jig? ‘Cause if so, it is up! … Sorry, I only had the last verse of Hot For Teacher to work on that.” – Barney
Castle (Review)
“Am I the only one seeing this? Red cloak in the woods, animal attack. She’s Little Red Riding Hood.” – Castle
“Great, Castle, I’ll call in an APB for the Big Bad Wolf.” – Beckett
“Castle that is a surprisingly reasonable and grounded theory.” – Beckett
“Yeah … I’m a little disappointed with myself.” – Castle“
“Wasn’t he practically my age?” – Castle
“Honey you know I’ve always loved younger men; they have so much energy, enough to keep up with me … most of the time.” – Martha
“He covered his bases.” – Castle
“I know; it’s really starting to piss me off.” – Beckett
“And you get cute when you’re angry [Beckett gives him a look] but not when you get angry with me.” – Castle
“If I hate you personally at the end, so be it. That may have to happen for my golf game to improve.” — Adam Levine to his new golf coach Hank Haney
“It’s not that Adam can’t drive. It’s just that he can’t seem to drive without hurting something.” — Rutledge Wood
“You can drive down the road in comfort … and then blow up.” — Tanner Foust
Justified (Review)
“Why don’t you just shoot him in the face?” — Tim to Raylan
“If I take this conversation vertical, can I expect more of the same?” — Boyd to Raylan after being slugged in the stomac
American Idol (Review, Review and ……… Review!)
“You sang your butt off today and that’s as beautiful as beautiful gets.” — Steven Tyler post Jeremy Rosado performance … proving that losing your ass isn’t so bad after all
“I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” — Steven Tyler’s follow-up when Ryan Seacrest asks him how he’s doing at one point during the show
“Heejun: What do you think about what Jimmy had to say about ‘America’s comedian’?” — Ryan Seacrest on Jimmy Iovine’s critique of Heejun Han being a comedian, not an Idol hopeful
“Who’s that?” — Heejun
“The rice … the race for the Idol title is officially on …” — Ryan Seacrest, master host
Cougar Town (Review)
“I miss being a ho.” — Ellie
“You want back in? Because we’ll take you back.” — Laurie
“Yeah, I’m sure panties will drop when girls find out I was being pulled by my dog on a skateboard, saw a monarch butterfly, and said ‘hey, you’re not native to Florida’, crash.” — Travis on his head injury being an aphrodisiac
Happy Endings
“Whore’s Bath?” — Dave
“Uh, yeah David, I did take a whore’s bath, OK? I had a one-night stand and I didn’t have time to shower. So, did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and splash some water on my hush in the bathroom of an Au Bon Pain? Yes I did. I’m sorry that I’m a modern-day woman who enjoys sex as much as men! Sue me.” — Penny
“I meant the drink. Whore’s Bath. It’s gin-based.” — Dave
“Fact: You can’t have a sex dream about someone unless deep down inside, you’re attracted to that person.” — Brad
“Didn’t you have a sex dream about Fran Sinclair, the mom dinosaur on the TV show Dinosaurs?” — Jane
“Exactly.” – Brad
Clacked by Ivey West 
on Mar 04, 2012 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
