Quotation Marks – The Amazing Race, Modern Family and Fringe

The Clique came together this week to present you with our favorite television quotes. Yes, this is another week where we have nothing from CBS Sunday Morning, something that I know brings people flocking to this post week after week. But as there is no “I” in CliqueClack — or, at least not more than one — I will not throw any particular Clacker under the bus for the transgression (cough cough … Michael … cough cough).

As always, please enjoy! And, if we missed one of your favorites, please share it with us in the comments!

The Amazing Race (Review)

“How old are you? Are you like 38?” — Rachel to Vanessa during a childish argument
“Yes, I’m 38, and somehow I still look younger than you.” — Vanessa

“I didn’t make her cry. Her lack of self-esteem made her cry.” — Vanessa, after Rachel has another meltdown

House (Review)

“… I hate bullies.” – Taub
“You work for me.” – House
“You’re not a bully.” – Taub
“Pretty sure I am, Dickwad!” – House

How I Met Your Mother (Review)

“[To Barney] This is about the fact that you don’t think this relationship is going to last. That’s why you don’t want to throw anything out; because when that inevitable breakup comes, you don’t want to buy new mugs.” – Lily
“That’s why I’ve never thrown anything out for any relationship ever. [To the empty seat beside her]Isn’t that right honey? [Back to the group] Oh, that’s right, I’m alone.” – Robin

“Watch the entire Star Wars trilogy all the way through because I haven’t done that in like five years.” – Ted
“Dude, you can’t let that happen. If you’re not tril-ling it at least every three years, the dark side wins.” – Marshall
“OK, let’s make a pact. No matter what, every three years, we sit down and tril-it-up big time. Agreed?” – Ted
“A-Greedo.” – Marshall

“Your life’s not that bad.” – Ted
“Dude, I manage a Structure.” – Marshall
“But you get 10% off vests; that’s something.” – Ted
“The vests are pretty sweet.” – Marshall

“Guys, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of Quinn.” – Barney
“Dude, we’ve been to the Lusty Leopard, we’ve seen plenty.” – Marshall
“I kinda walked into that one, alright bye bye!” – Barney

Bones (Review)

“I told the [day care] director to send a photo every half an hour.” – Brennan
“Wow, I didn’t know they did that.” – Cam
“They don’t, usually, but I told her because of my position I could have her fired.” – Brennan

 “This lady was dragged along the highway for quite a space. I’ve seen this before.” – Finn
“Really? A lot?” – Hodgins
“On the bones of a deer that was snagged by a pickup and dragged a few miles.” – Finn
“I miss so much growing up in the city.” – Hodgins

“[Looking at a picture of baby Christine] Awww, she’s cuter than a june bug in a jumpsuit.” – Finn
“I’ve never seen that so I can’t make the comparison.” – Brennan

The Voice (Review)

“I don’t know how to feel about the whole thing that was happening up there … it’s a little evil … hellish. For me I don’t know, I was so wrapped up in whatever that was that it was harder for me to concentrate on the music …” — Blake on Tony Vincent’s weird performers gyrating in the background while he sang

“Here we go again with the male strippers. What the hell does that have to do with this?” — Blake on Erin’s staging

“I think Blake just bought a one-way ticket to Boner Town.” — Adam responding to Blake’s comment above

30 Rock (Review)

“I know The Woggels! My 8 year old niece walked down the aisle to that song at her wedding.” – Kenneth

“He’s useless in a hospital. I recall this one time he cried and cried. I mean it was more like wailing. It was awful!” – Colleen
“She’s referring to my birth.” – Jack

“There is no need for us to start jabbering about our feelings and sobbing like Bill Belichick listening to Adele.” – Jack

“It’s good. It’s really good. And this is coming from someone Quincy Jones once pushed off a boat.” – Jenna on her boyfriend’s song

“This cake has vegetables in it. Like a salad bar, Robert. How do I get this taste out of my mouth?” – Kevin

Modern Family (Review)

“I can see Clairely now that Duane is gone.” — Cam

“You don’t have to be clairvoyant to know who to vote for.  Vote Dunphy for Town Council.  Uh … Claire Dunphy.  Claire’s her first name.  I’m sorry if that wasn’t Claire.” — Mitchell

“Town Councilwoman Dunphy, how do you respond to allegations that you look super sexy in your new suit?” — Phil
“I haven’t been elected yet.  Come on kids, we gotta vote.  Honey, come on.  Please stop filming.” — Claire
“I’m just excited.  After today, you are going to be a town councilwoman and I am going to be a first husband.” — Phil
“If you don’t stop filming, you’re going to be my first husband.” — Claire

 “Claire likes to win.  When she was eight, a little Girl Scout friend of hers bragged she could sell the most cookies.  Damn if Claire didn’t walk the neighborhood ‘til she got blisters on her feet and won by 10 boxes.  Best part is, Claire wasn’t even a Girl Scout.” — Jay

“Oh my God, there’s Sandy.” — Mitchell
“Sandra Bullock?” — Cam
“Yeah, Sandra Bullock.  We’re such good friends I call her Sandy, so.  No, Sandy who works at Lily’s pre-school.”  — Mitchell
“Oh, yeah.  You know she got engaged?” — Cam
“Nooo, to the gay boyfriend?” — Mitchell
“Totally.” — Cam
“Oh, how does she not see it?” — Mitchell
“If I was with somebody that gorgeous, I’d overlook a few quirks too.” — Cam
“First of all, thank you.  Second of all, point well-taken.  Poor Sandy.  I feel so bad for her.” — Mitchell
“It’s better than being alone.” — Cam
“Is it?” — Mitchell

“We see a great looking guy like Gregory and we say he’s gay because we want him to be gay.” — Mitchell
“Really, really are you sure?” — Sandy
“Absolutely.  Look at what we do with movie stars.  You know, Hugh Jackman.  He sings, he dances, he’s dreamy, so obviously we would want him on our team but he’s straight.  Trust me, I know.  I said hello to him once in a restaurant and there was absolutely no chemistry.” — Cam
“Well, if that isn’t proof.” — Mitchell
“Three weeks later, Sandy and Gregory got married and everyone said the wedding was beautiful.” — Cam
“Gregory did the flowers … which is perfectly normal for a straight guy.” — Mitchell

“Dear Miss Dunphy, we regret to inform you … While we cannot offer you admission at this time, you are a promising candidate and therefore we would like to place you on our wait list.  Oh my God, I got waitlisted!” — Haley
“We will take it!” — Claire
“Our daughter might be going to college!” — Phil

Pysch (Review)

“So, now I’ve got two bodies: the girl who’s been missing for 20 years and the father of the man long suspected of killing her. Do you have any other bombshells for me?” – Chief Vick
“Did you see the finale of The Bachelorette?” – Shawn
“Yes.” – Chief Vick
“Then no.” – Shawn

You can reinstate me, this one time.” – Henry
“Come on Henry, all due respect, you can’t just hop back in the game after all these years. There’s been a lot of changes on the job.” – Lassiter
“Lassie’s right. For example the bicycle is no longer just one giant wheel with a tiny one in back.” – Shawn
“And now my people can vote.” – Gus

“That is my partner, Sh’Dynasty. It’s spelled S, H, Comma-to-the-top, Dynasty.” – Shawn
“Comma-to-the-top?” – Jordan
“That’s a God’s Comma.” – Gus

“[To Shawn] Last time I saw you were practically in tears because your dad wouldn’t buy you an ice cream. [To Henry] When was that, Henry?” – Bea Gamble
“Six years ago.” – Henry

“It’s sodium bicarbonate.” – Shawn
“Baking soda?” – Gus
“Bacon soda? That’s a genius idea, Gus but I’m not sure the world is ready for a pork flavored beverage.” – Shawn
“I disagree, but that’s not what I said.” – Gus

Community (Review)

“Her pain unifies us.” – Pierce on Britta

“A real carnival? Is the company called Red Beard’s Amusement?” – Britta
“That rings a bell. But, with me that could mean anything.” –Dean

“I have an ex-boyfriend that travels with a carnival.” – Britta
“I’m sorry, Britta. Some things are funny because they make no sense. And that is not one of them.” –Annie

“Well, it looks like my news has incited some doings. And if that’s not my job, what is?” –Dean

“She invoked friendship to undercut the laugh. But, we’re still laughing. That’s how funny it is.” – Jeff

“His name is Blade. Is that legal? Shouldn’t New Line Cinema be suing him?” –Abed

“So, what Britta. You’re in love with a guy named after a kickboxing vampire movie?” – Jeff

“She’s calling him?!” — Annie
“She was born in the ’80s … she still uses her PHONE as a PHONE!” – Troy

Fringe (Review)

“It’s your world you ought to be concerned about. Because as bad as you think things are now, things are going to get much worse.” – Alt-Nina

“It’s a miracle we arrived in one piece; you drive like a daredevil.” – Walter
“For the eleventh time, Walter, I drive the speed limit.” – Astrid
“Most automobile fatalities occur driving between work and home.” – Walter
“So does most driving.” – Astrid

“[Walter removes a body part from his bag] A hand?” – Fauxlivia
“I removed it from one of the victims on our side.” – Walter
“You couldn’t bring casserole but a severed hand is OK?” – Lee