Quotation Marks – Exorcisms, Ann Margret, and … a Gilmore Girl?

by Ivey West

Psych Cast Photo - Season 3

Was it just me, or did this week seem a little off? Despite being funny, Psych put me to sleep (literally, not figuratively) with its not-so-interesting plot. Leverage was hilarious, but didn’t offer nearly as many good one-liners as it normally does. And depressingly, Bob’s Veronica Mars Virgin Diary is quickly coming to a close (which, I’ve got to warn you, means more Buffy quotes for everyone — I love shows that bring the wit). Alas, however, the Fall Season quickly approaches.

Psych

“Question: Where are all of the girls in the Catholic school-girl uniforms, Gus?!” — Shawn
“There’s one right over there.” — Gus
“No, that is a male bagpiper.” — Shawn

“Was she a fan of the game Grand Theft Auto? I know when I play it I become raving mad, foaming at the mouth.” — Shawn
“I had to taser him once.” — Gus
“Which I still feel was excessive.” — Shawn

“Carson D has Simon Baker on tonight. That’s can’t miss, OK, so I’m going to go. You guys keep exercising during the exorcism.” — Shawn

“Do you think she has PTSD?” — Lucy’s Mother
“I’m afraid this is more serious than a menstrual disorder.” — Shawn

“Oh, let me guess … relationship trouble.” — Henry
“Yeah, I hate it when we fight.” — Shawn
“I’m sure she feels the same way.” — Henry
“I’m not talking about Abigail, I’m talking about Gus.” — Shawn
“So was I.” — Henry

Mad Men

“Let’s assume we can get a girl to match Ann-Margret’s ability to be 25 and act 14.” — Peggy, on an ad to match the opening of Bye Bye Birdie

Leverage

“Katherine and I have known each other forever. Almost two years.” — Parker, at Sophie’s fake funeral

“Stop it….” — Sophie
“It’s like you’re haunting us.” — Parker
“Parker, I’m not really dead. I’m not dead!” — Sophie

True Blood

“Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still talk from time to time.” — Lafayette

“If only Miss Jeanette was still alive.” — Lettie Mae
“She don’t need no backwoods witch. She needs Thorazine and a padded cell.” — Lafayette

“Lord, smite me … Lord, smite me … LORD, SMITE ME!!” — Sam

“You’ve been real good to this town, even if you are a sometime nudist.” — Andy

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Battlestar Galactica

“There’s this one song that he taught me, it made me feel happy and sad all at the same time.” — Starbuck
“The best ones do.” — Slick

Veronica Mars

“Who wants out of jail?” — Cliff
“I do! I do!” — Veronica (A bit that works better with Kristen Bell’s funny voice)

“Honey … why is there a pistol in the freezer?” — Keith
“Because there’s this guy, see?… And I want to put him on ice. Because revenge is a dish best served cold. Because I want to commit murder in the 28th degree?” — Veronica
“Stop.” — Keith

“What?” — Wallace, after worrying about Veronica seeing Parker and Logan together
“I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are.” — Veronica

House, M.D.

“Why’d you put me in charge of the department if you think I can’t handle it?” — Foreman
“Because it’s temporary, and because I was ordered to.” — Cuddy

“Do you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?” — Wilson
“They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.” — House

“What does House say?” — Cameron
“The person you are trying to reach is out of the area or has turned off their phone.” — Foreman

“Cat fight and cataplexy on the cat walk. Cool!” — House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“My. She’s cheeky, isn’t she? — Wesley, about Cordelia
“Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.” — Faith

“And you say this demon wanted cash? That’s very unusual.” — Wesley
“Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.” — Giles

“I know this. It’s down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.” — Buffy
“Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.” — Giles

Photo Credit: USA Network