Movies in 2012 were all about nerds, sadness, and hope

2012 in Movies

This last year was filled with arrows, bows, shooting said arrows, and skintight leather outfits. And … more!

 

What a year it’s been! There have been a few movies I’ve seen this year, so I feel pretty confident making large, subjective claims about society as a whole based on them. Or you know, be vaguely amusing instead. Before I get to the “Big Awards” (like most adorable or most precocious), here is a little spreading of the love (and spite).

Movie Most Devoid of Purpose, Meaning, Value, or even a Point: This Means War
Setting aside the not insignificant moral issues with this stupid movie, let’s admit that even Captain Kirk, Bane, and Chelsea Handler can screw up a movie and have a terrible ending. Bad romantic comedy + Bad spy movie = Bad movie.

This Was Stupid 500px1 Movies in 2012 were all about nerds, sadness, and hope
Worst Exploitation of a Minority Group:
Red Tails
Best Exploitation of a Minority Group: It’s a tie! Beasts of the Southern Wild and Django Unchained

Brutal honesty and piercing insight? Beauty and violence balanced with humanity? Sure, more please. George Lucas complaining about racism in Hollywood after releasing a shoddy overly CGIed movie about legitimate historical heroes? Nope.

Worst Movie about Snow White: It’s a tie! Snow White and the Hunstman and Mirror, Mirror
It was a weird coincidence that two mediocre movies about Snow White came out the same year. One was a schlocky, maudlin mess with a lot of bright colors. The other was a dry, bizarre mess with a lot of dark colors. But at least Charlize Theron was great.

Snow Boring 500px Movies in 2012 were all about nerds, sadness, and hope

Loudest Movie without Substance: Battleship
Loudest Movie with SubstancePrometheus

Oh, Battleship. I’d be lying if I said I expected anything better. Prometheus was bit out of control, but it was not terrible by any stretch.

Award for Failure to Waste Robert De Niro: It’s a tie! Being Flynn and Silver Linings Playbook
You guys … Robert De Niro is actually a really good actor. I’d sort of forgotten.

Deepest Movie Nobody Saw: The Grey
I saw this movie nearly a year ago, and it still resonates with me. Perhaps it wasn’t “Taken 4: Wolf Puncher,” but it was an exploration of humanity and survival, with truly beautiful cinematography of the icy wastes of British Columbia (standing in for Alaska).
Taken 4 Wolf Puncher 500px Movies in 2012 were all about nerds, sadness, and hope

Worst Movie I Saw: The Watch

Worst Movie I Didn’t See: That’s My Boy
There’s a lot wrong with The Watch. It’s not really a movie, it’s not really a comedy, it’s not really fun at all. But at least there’s no incest.

Would’ve Made Movie a lot Better if Removed: Justin Timberlake in Trouble with the Curve
Would’ve Made Movie a lot Worse if Removed: Paul Rudd in Wanderlust (see also This is 40)
I hated everything with Justin Timberlake’s character in Trouble with the Curve. But Paul Rudd, though … he elevated Wanderlust to something better than itself, and he helped hold This is 40 together, although in that case, he had help (from everyone else).

Most Surprisingly Not as Good as Expected: Brave
Most Surprisingly Not as Bad as ExpectedThe Three Stooges
I was a bit sad that I thought Brave was just good, not great. And I was surprised that I didn’t totally hate The Three Stooges. It wasn’t terrible at all!

Most Kick-ass Female Character: It’s a tie! Merida from Brave, Katniss from The Hunger Games, Black Widow from The Avengers, MMA fighter Gina Carano’s character in Haywire
But I guess those are just exceptions, because nobody wants to see movies with kickass female characters, right? (sarcasm)

And as a bit up of a quick warm up, the rapid fire nerdiest movies of 2012!

Nerdiest Video Game Movie: Wreck-It Ralph

Nerdiest Comic Book Movie: The Avengers

Nerdiest Theater Movie: Les Misérables

Nerdiest Meta Movie: The Cabin in the Woods

Nerdiest Nerdy Movie: The Hobbit

By the way, the nerdiest thing of all is being pedantic about nerdy things. That’s how I know my list is accurate. And now …

Photo Credit: Mr Blue / WENN, Gary Miereanu, Warner Bros, Sony Pictures, 20th Century Fox, Lionsgate, Paramount Pictures, Columbia Pictures, Universal Studios, Disney, Funny or Die, flickr: Cea, Tina Gill / PR Photos, Steve Gettle, New Line Cinema, The Weinstein Company, Marvel Studios, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, Dreamworks Pictures

9 Comments on “Movies in 2012 were all about nerds, sadness, and hope

  1. Can you expand on Whedon “failing” in the Avengers just a little?

    And wrong about Premium Rush: I saw it, too :P

    And you’re right about Premium Rush: You’re still the only one who liked it.

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    • I was saying a few things with that comment. One, that despite the relative commercial failure of Cabin in the Woods, it garnered a lot of interest, and Joss certainly was successful otherwise with The Avengers financially.

      The other is that despite the many flaws of the Avengers movie, you can’t ignore its appeal or success. It succeeded despite having problems.

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      • I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m not familiar with the argument that there are “many flaws” in The Avengers.

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        • Why, that’s an entirely different discussion. I still liked the movie a lot, but that doesn’t mean I think it suffers due to its forced mass appeal.

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          • That was my original question. I’d love to read your thoughts on that, because it’s an opinion I hadn’t heard much of this year.

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        • Hmm… too late to write a post on it, do you think?

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  2. The best thing about Justice League: Doom was the casting, really. But that’s not particularly a slide against it because it’s nearly perfect casting from the plethora of past DCA works (God bless Andrea Romano). Anytime you have Kevin Conroy as Batman I tend to be happy. The story was a little rushed, but honestly we get to see Batman bitterly put down Superman for suggesting they save the earth by moving it slightly to the side. That moment alone was worth the $10ish I spent on the DVD.

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    • The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 wasn’t actually as good as Doom, but still you’re right, they have quite decent releases, and I’m always pleased with the voice casting (for the most part). Peter Weller was… okay.

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