Leave it to me to get this post in on the last day of the year when all the festivities and holiday frolickry are coming to a close. But sometimes you save the best for last … and that, folks, is what I’m doing right here.

Hokay … !!! Here’s my “tweaked” recipe for eggnog, miles better than anything you can pour out of a carton.

Ingredients:

• 1 dozen fresh eggs
• 2 pints heavy whipping cream
• 12 small “handfuls” of cane sugar
• 6-8 oz. whiskey (Southern Comfort or other? Cheeeeeeap. Jack Daniels? Betterer. Use whatever trips your trigger. Rum may be substituted for whiskey.)
• nutmeg (fresh is better)

Simple Procedure:

• Separate the egg yolks from the egg whites, whipping the whites ’til they are good and stiff. (I usually do this by hand. What? Am I goofy? No … I recommend doing so the first time around so you can figure out what you’re comfortable with down the line, thus tweaking the recipe. But … that’s just me.) Set aside whipped egg whites.
• In a separate container, mix egg yolks well. Gradually add sugar, a little at a time, while mixing (The recipe calls for “a handful” of sugar per egg, but I think this is a bit too much. I’ve used 1/3 less sugar and my nog comes out terrifical. Granted: This isn’t anything akin to a recipe courtesy of Weight Watchers, but you don’t need to go overboard, either.) Mix sugar granules until completely dissolved.
• Add whiskey to the egg yolks. Stir well.
• Add the stiffly beaten egg whites to the yolky mixture. Stir well once more.
• Fold in 2 pints of heavy whipping cream that also has been whipped. Stir well. (“But Michael: The photo above shows regular whipping cream, not heavy whipping cream! What gives?” Glad you asked. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. You get a gold star for noticing. Heavy whipping cream should be used as it makes a richer, tastier recipe.)
• Refrigerate for two hours.
• Re-stir if foamy head has formed from refrigeration, serve in small, dainty glass cups with a dusting of fresh nutmeg sprinkled on top and realize no other eggnog compares. (Yes, you can use nutmeg out of a container, you rebel you. *sigh*)

Share with your friends during tonight’s New Year’s Eve party, during 2012’s holiday season or whenever the urge strikes you. Makes an excellent nightcap and creamer for your coffee as well.

Now … experiment. Adjust to your own taste. Regardless of how you tweak the recipe, it will be far superior to anything store-bought … and your guests will heap praise upon you. Especially the ones who didn’t think they liked eggnog.

What? You marvel at the fact there is no cooking of the eggs whatsoever? You are correct, Mombassa! The alcohol will counteract any suspect monkey business. But I do suggest you use freshly bought eggs for your nog. Fresher is better.

Please let me know how yours turns out!

There was a time I wouldn’t have been all that offended by a beer that didn’t just taste like … beer. Y’know, the blueberry pale ales; the cranberry lambics. And, among these were the spiced beers for fall, usually with nutmeg and/or cinnamon, during the fall and winter months. These days I can only take these beers on rare occasion, and I make special exception for the Halloween-time favorite: pumpkin beer. This year, though, I may have found something I might be able to stomach more than once: Shipyard Brewery’s Pugsley’s Signature Series Smashed Pumpkin.

Shipyard makes another pumpkin ale, called Pumpkinhead Ale, with an admirable ABV of 5.1%. Smashed Pumpkin trumps the Pumpkinhead with a staggering 9% ABV, and that’s where this pumpkin beer stands out. No longer do you need to endure the ridicule of fellow beer drinkers with your nutmeg-y, fruity beer — you’re holding a bottle of rocket fuel, baby! What’s more, it doesn’t taste like it’s rocking that amount of alcohol. Many times, with heavy stouts or Belgian-style ales, you can tell you’re going to be in trouble if you down more than a couple pints. With Smashed Pumpkin, it’s pretty well hidden … which, I guess, can be dangerous.

Apparently, judging by the label above, the beer comes in one-pint bottles, but my local specialty liquor store seemed to only be carrying the 22 oz. size. The page at Shipyard’s website indicates it’s only available in 22 oz. or kegs, though, so I’m not sure what’s going on there. This is the sort of beer that I feel belongs in the larger bottle alone, further letting you on that it’s not your typical pumpkin beer — if you drink that full bottle, you could indeed be “smashed” pretty quickly.

Smashed Pumpkin still has that very cinnamon-y and nutmeg-y flavor that you either love or hate, so there’s nothing new there. But that boost in alcohol content gives this seasonal beer a step above the rest.

When you’ve got a Rodney Strong Cabernet Sauvignon waiting for you, any old meal just won’t do. Besides, on a Saturday night, we cook. On a warm Saturday night, even in February, we grill. Keith did the veal (dressed with sea salt, freshly ground black pepper, rosemary and thyme) and the romaine hearts outside, I took care of the potatoes inside.

The magic of my roasted garlic mashed potatoes lies in the yogurt I add … they are creamy with just a little sourness — perfect! All of you people who actually keep milk or cream in the house are missing out, because I discovered this little trick most serrendipitously. Use about a clove of garlic per potato and roast it up good and brown and mushy before smashing in. Add some butter, salt and pepper too.

The sauce on the veal is our go-to berry balsamic reduction sauce that we use nearly every time we have veal, lamb or duck. It’s hard to branch out when you’ve found something you love and haven’t gotten sick of yet (much like our mesclun salad).

As I’ve written before, those stuck at home with a five-year-old don’t generally party on New Year’s Eve, but that doesn’t stop this household from enjoying a delicious celebratory meal to ring in the New Year. In fact, last night we decided to invite the kid to join us rather than sneaking our meal after his bedtime.

It was the best decision we’ve made: not only did we all have a wonderful, unhurried meal (that was not at 9:00 at night!) but Owen set the dining room table and arranged a festive centerpiece. Since he was so invested in our celebration, he was the best company we could have asked for (other than turning rack of lamb into a finger food, but that’s just a little thing….).

We kept it simple so we wouldn’t be slaving away in the kitchen all evening. White bean dip with sun-dried tomatoes and roasted garlic was the perfect appetizer for munching-while-cooking, and rack of lamb (bought pre-seasoned from Trader Joe’s) is as simple as plopping it on a pan and baking for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. We put a tray of halved Brussels sprouts in with the lamb and turned the oven up to 400 degrees convection bake at the end for a few minutes to roast them all yummy and brown.

Three more things and our meal was complete:

• Edamame and fresh basil risotto … I’ll post the recipe soon!
• A sauce made with shallots, all-fruit preserves (Trader Joe’s Super Fruit Spread), balsamic vinegar and butter, based on this one from Rachael Ray
• a divine Chateauneuf du Pape

We hope you enjoyed your New Year’s eve food as much as we did ours … and that you’ll share what you ate in the comments! Happy New Year!

I don’t ask for much these days. As a mom of an almost-five-year-old who really, really likes me to put him to bed, I don’t get out much. So after a long week, when Friday night finally rolls around, I drink.

I know what you’re thinking, but work with me here. I’m not talking vodka in a secret flask inside my semi-attractive yet hefty mom purse. The perfect wine to match the delectable meal Keith and I have prepared for ourselves, to unwind and satiate — that’s what I’m talking about.

Sometimes, if we’re really lucky, there’s some of the bottle left for after Owen goes to bed. That’s when the real fun begins. Not because we’re drunk, because by that time the wine has basically put me to sleep. That’s right, it’s time to get out the chocolate. Sure, the caffeine might counteract the alcohol a bit and keep me awake to watch a TV show or two, but really, the pleasure is in how the wine and the chocolate compliment one another. In the words of any Japanese female judge on the original Iron Chef, they make my mouth happy. Or make my taste buds sing.

Last Friday night was a particular treat, because we were drinking Cline Ancient Vine Zinfindel. It went fabulously with our Delmonico steak, but I had forgotten just how perfectly this particular wine goes with chocolate. Believe me, I won’t forget again.

I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t even pair it with any fancy gourmet chocolate, like Green and Black’s 85% Dark, or Dagoba’s Eclipse or Ghirardelli’s Midnight Reverie (just a few of my favorites). No, this particular Friday night was one of desperation, so I shoved handfuls of Sunspire Grain-Sweetened chocolate chips down my wine hole, chased by the Cline Zin.

OK, I’m not ashamed to admit it, because it was perfect.

I’m guessing I know what you’ll be doing this Friday night.

Our (apparently coerced) Guest-clacker today is Stephen Degon, a retired manufacturing and engineering executive whose hobbies include food and wine. That means he loves to cook, eat, and drink, but not write about it.

Well, it’s that time of year again, when we all start to think about the perfect Thanksgiving feast. Thanksgiving is such a special holiday because it reminds us of how fortunate we are, even if we are in the throws of a financial downturn. It means family and friends without the need for gifts. This should lead to a no stress holiday right?…WRONG! Everyone feels enormous pressure to make the perfect meal, accompanied by the perfect sides, and served alongside a perfect wine.

Which brings us to what we really want to talk about…wine. Turkey is a fowl, so it should have white wine, right? How about the dressing? Does it contain lots of meats? How are the veggies prepared? All of these questions should factor into your wine selection, but most important is “what kind of wine do you really like?”

Here are some suggestions, depending on your particular leanings.

Cote du Rhone is a lighter red from France that provides an excellent alternative to the full bodied reds you might normally love to have with a good steak. Made up of granache, petit syrah, and mouvedre varietals, it has a peppery finish, which pairs well with a meat dressing, and goes great with turkey and gravy. You can find these for $15 to $20 in most wine stores.

If you really don’t like reds, but prefer whites (maybe reds give you a headache), then think about a sauvignon blanc varietal from New Zealand. These highly acidic whites have a flowery nose and a grassy taste which is clean and fresh, and will cut through the sweetness of those yams and squashes which are usually spiked with too much sugar. You can find an abundance of these wines for $10 to $15 a bottle.

Of course, for those who really love red wine, any food provides an excuse to imbibe. A Bordeaux varietal mixture goes great with turkey and all the fixin’s. These wines will contain cabernet sauvignon, merlot, petit verdot, malbec, and cabernet franc. Lighter than a California cab, they will bring some compromise between the wine and the food for the palate to concentrate on. $15 to $30 will be needed for these.

A good California cabernet sauvignon will command your attention more than the food will. You can spend anywhere from $10 to $100+ for these, depending on your budget and taste. Some suggestions are:

• Lower Budget: Sabastiani cabernet sauvignon from the north coast…around $15
• Coppolla Claret for about $18
• Beringer Knight’s Valley for about $22
• Ferrari-Carano cab for about $30

You almost can’t go wrong serving wine with turkey dinner…just try to stay away from anything sweet like a white zin, reisling, or gewurtztraminer, and you’ll do fine.

a retired manufacturing and engineering executive
whose hobbies include food and wine.  That means he loves to cook, eat, and
drink, but not write about it.

I’m not a complicated person. I’m bad at hiding my feelings, and my life is pretty much an open book. So it should come as no surprise to any of you that I’m not what one would call… fancy. I wouldn’t classify myself as a foodie, and I am certainly not a wine snob. When it comes to regular “wine with dinner” type drinking, I’m a $10/bottle girl. When I’m at the grocery store, I’ll go down to about $8 for Yellow Tail Shiraz, or do $15 for Estancia Cabernet. But about $10 is where I want to be.

I’ll admit that there is a certain satisfaction to popping the cork and pouring a glass of wine from a bottle. It somehow makes you instantly feel classy– even if you’re pairing it with leftover pasta. However, I’m practical, and I know that I’m not going to finish a bottle, and in general, I’m going to forget about it, and there’s nothing worse than having to throw away a half a bottle of wine because you didn’t finish it.

So that’s when I turned to the box.

I know, I know. Boxed wine is for old ladies and low-class alcoholics. We’ve all made jokes about giant boxes of Franzia chardonnay, and I still won’t touch that stuff. However, boxed wine has come a long way in recent years.

Maybe it’s due to the economy, or simply people not wanting to waste that much glass, or the fact that they’re just too lazy to operate a corkscrew, but wine has changed. Screw tops, once reserved for 2-buck chuck, are showing up on slightly classier wines, and even boxes are gaining in popularity.

If you go down the booze aisle at a Super Target (as I often do), you will find a large selection of boxed wine– including Target brand. At $17.99 for the equivalent of four bottles, you certainly can’t beat the price. Plus, the quality is that of about a $10 bottle of wine, so in effect, you are getting over two bottles free. Plus, the handy pour spout makes it easy to just lie under and squirt it straight down your booze hole.

Kidding.

The cool thing about the wine though is that it stays fresh for several weeks, so you don’t have to feel pressured to drink all of the wine with dinner. While people may scoff at your classlessness at drinking boxed wine, those same people will gladly sip it if you just served it to them without saying what it is. So let them hate. You’re saving money and making your drinking more efficient. Now that’s what I call a WIN.

With summer comes parties, and with parties comes beer. Normally I just drink my usual stuff in the cooler, but seeing as I needed to have something to write about, I took one for the team and reached for something I’d never have considered sipping before: Michelob Ultra Lime Cactus.

First thing of note: the beer is green, and I don’t mean that it’s good for the environment. It’s not quite green enough to carry around on St. Patrick’s Day, though you’d really not want to be doing that with this beer if you weren’t interested in getting the crap beat out of you.

Essentially, this is a wine cooler with a beer label. It’s way too sweet for any true beer drinker’s liking — there’s just nothing beery about it. It’s akin to Sprite and citronella in a bottle. In fact, quoth my sister-in-law: “it tastes like bug spray.”

This is one of those “beers” that someone who doesn’t usually like beer can drink and say, “hey, look everyone! I drink beer!” Luckily the clear bottle with the Slurm-like substance inside is a dead giveaway, and you can commence pointing and laughing while you blow the head off an Imperial Stout.

At least it was free.

Why is it that summer and booze go together so well? There’s nothing better than sitting outside on a warm day and sipping on a cool drink: a margarita, mojito, mint julep, or one of my favorites… sangria. Poor winter just doesn’t match up when it comes to seasonal cocktails. Unless you really like eggnog, winter just can’t hold a candle to summer in the alcohol department.

My cousin hosted a cookout for the Fourth of July this past weekend and I offered to bring sangria. After all, any reason is a good excuse to make sangria. I turned to one of my favorite recipes: Bobby Flay’s Red Wine Sangria.

Bobby Flay rarely disappoints, and this cocktail is no different. It’s super easy to make. The hardest part is probably making the simple syrup, but let’s face it: if you can’t handle making simple syrup, what the heck are you doing reading a food blog? Anyway, other than that, this recipe is really just mixing liquids and chopping fruit.

Whenever I make this recipe, I usually just use apples and oranges as the fruit, even though it calls for blackberries and pomegranate seeds. The latter are usually hard to find, and the former are cheaper and soak up the wine really well. After all, isn’t sangria all about the wine-soaked fruit? I’m seriously in love with drunken apples. I’ve been toying with idea of taking all the wine soaked apples from my next sangria and baking them into a pie. I’ll let you know how that turns out.

Bobby’s sangria is really delicious. The brandy adds a nice flavor, with the orange juice and triple sec adding some sweetness. The pomegranate juice adds just the right amount of bite. The cocktail is really well balanced. It’s almost too easy to drink. You definitely have to watch yourself or you will find yourself half in the bag before you can climb out. There are worse places to find yourself, though.

I am a proud, self professed food snob; this isn’t news. The sad fact is that I had no chance. I was born the son of a food snob and the flag was passed down to me at an early age. I think it might even be genetic; I’m just waiting for the scientists to pinpoint the gene. Sadly, it’s way down on the list, after the gene responsible for loud sneezing, but before the gene for droopy ear lobes.

In any case, food snobbery may be a slightly incorrect term, or at the very least incomplete. You see, my food snobbery doesn’t just stop with food. No, no. In fact, I may be even more of an alcohol snob than I am a food snob.

I’m not a huge fan of beer. There are some beers I really like. Who can say no to a big frothy beer milkshake that they call Guinness Stout? Those watered down swill beers (Bud, Miller, etc, etc), they just don’t do anything for me. Unfortunately a lot of those fancy microbrews don’t do anything for me either. The fact is I just can’t stand a really bitter beer. At this point in my life my snobbery has almost taken over completely and I pass on the beer and just head straight to the wine.

Ah wine. Delicious, delicious wine. I blame my father for this too, as I grew up in a house where very nice wine was always served. I know people who can enjoy the heck out of a really cheap bottle of wine. Myself, I live by a simple motto: “Life is too short to drink cheap wine.” My wallet wishes that I could settle for a bottle of Two Buck Chuck (which is actually three bucks here on the east coast), but it’s just not going to happen. I’ve been raised to be such a wine snob, in fact, that I can’t look at bottle of Merlot without sneering (I’ve had to explain that joke from Sideways so many times to people).

If it stopped with wine I might be okay. Unfortunately when my friends are all ordering sugary mixed drinks like Captain and Coke, I’m ordering Manhattans or a glass of single malt scotch or some expensive cognac. In fact, I clearly recall a time in middle school when we were reading a story aloud in class. My teacher couldn’t believe that I knew how to correctly pronounce “cognac” and I think she was legitimately concerned for my well being. I was fine… just a food snob in training.

I promised the review of Land Shark Lager and According to Jim and I finally have time to set  down and do it. I don’t normally drink fancy beer like Land Shark because I can get a half rack of Old Milwaukee cheaper than a six-pack of this beer. So with the final episode of According to Jim on the DVR, a Tomb Stone Supreme pizza ready to go in the oven, and the six-pack cold in the fridge … here we go.

To start with, I had to search for a bottle opener to even open the beer. At least the cap does say to pry it off so I didn’t waste time trying to unscrew the top. Land Shark is bottled by the Margaritaville Brewing Co. It is a lighter beer than I normally drink. I tried Corona once and thought it tasted worse than fermented Buffalo piss. The Land Shark Lager has a very good flavor. It is light and not too filling. After the first one I am ready for number two.

This is really smooth beer. I have had Kool-aid that had more of a bite to it. The last time I had anything this good was when I was drinking Moose Head Beer in the Mangy Moose Saloon in Jackson Wyoming many years ago. I hope this project goes better than that night did. Two down and four to go. I am starting to feel the beer already. I have a good buzz starting and am feeling good. I am ready to move onto number three.

Popped the top on number three. Normally I am getting full after three beers, but this stuff is really good and I am not feeling full at all. I can easily chug half the bottle. I am half way into the six-pack and Enemy of the State is starting to look funny. This bodes well for Jim.

OK, I’m half way through bottle four and I am feeling very good. I was really worried about doing this post when I agreed to do it, but I am really getting into it now. I am starting to make comments I probably shouldn’t on Twitter. Perhaps Internet access is not a good idea while doing this post. Four down, onto number five. I am starting to get a little full. I am glad I did not put that pizza in the oven. I don’t think I could get through all six if I did.

Number five is open. I am feeling really good now, so I apologize if my typing gets worse. Not that it is ever all that good. Five bottles down and I am ready for the last one.

I am now on the last bottle of the six-pack. I am having some trouble with the keys on my keyboard so my typing is slowing down. I hope that my rambling makes sense to the readers. Just popped the top on number six and after I finish it I will give it some time to kick in before I begin watching According to Jim. I want to have the full effect of the beer before watching the show. I have finished the last bottle of the six-pack and actually wish I had a couple more. This is really good beer. I will have to get some more for my next BBQ to share with my in-laws.

So I am now watching the series finale of According to Jim. This episode is called “Heaven Opposed to Hell.”

The scene where Jim pretends to be excited over Dan and Andy’s news was still not funny. He still looked like a complete jerk that did not care at all about anyone but himself.

I still like seeing Dan Aykroyd, but the scene with him was not funny. He explains to Jim that they are both dead and that he has to check in with the guy at the gate. When Jim gets to the gate to check in and is red flagged he says, “Oh hell.” The gate keeper saying “potentially” was the first funny line so far.

The appearances of Lee Majors as God and Eric Estrada as The Devil was not funny. The attempts at jokes were not well written and the jokes did not make me laugh at all. The special effects when Jim opened The Devil’s gift bag were good, but his reaction did not make me believe there was really fire coming out of the gift bag. The choice of Andy to represent Jim and Dana to represent The Devil were still very predictable and not all that funny. The Devil asking how his baby was doing and rubbing Dana’s belly was really funny to me. I have always told my kids that I hope they have kids just like them and somehow I think a devil would be what Dana was like as a child. When Dana’s husband Ryan took the stand to testify and asked about the baby, Dana said “he was a little devil” and Estrada said, “Oh you are terrible” — that scene really cracked me up this time. Quick pause and break while I get rid of some of the beer. Please talk amongst yourselves until I return. Thanks.

When Andy called himself to the stand as a witness it was very disturbing to me. This guy has some serious issues with his mother fixation. I think he is the next Norman Bates if he does not get help. Jim taking over as his own defense seems like a good idea. I have to wonder why it is that early on in the show, whenever you saw Sheryl her nipples were showing through her top, which made the show much more worth watching, but now she is always wearing sweaters and other tops that do not show them. This episode would be much better with nipples showing.

On a side note, the Ashton Kutcher Nikon commercial annoyed me even more than normal while watching this. Can we please let him fade into obscurity and not have to see him unless we watch reruns of That ’70s Show?

The final scene of the trial when Sheryl and the rest of the family said they would go to hell to be with Jim was nice, but not really funny. And after Andy saved Jim by getting the shrimp puff he was choking on out and Jim spitting it on Dana was funny, but Jim deciding he would live forever because God didn’t want him and the Devil wouldn’t have him showed just how stupid Jim really is.

My assessment of the show? Overall, According to Jim is a better show when you have drunk a six-pack of Land Shark Lager, but it is still not all that funny. The jokes are still old retreads from much better acted shows and it still makes me wonder just how has this show been on the air for this long?

Now that the show is over, Bo is asking for dinner so I had better get something fixed for him. Wait — when did he learn to  talk?

Keith, thanks for the challenge of writing this project. I have really enjoyed it.

Gather ’round, children, and let me tell you of a story … no, a legend … that was passed down to me through years of past alumni of the college from whence I graduated, my leaving with one degree more than I had and several million brain cells less. What does this story have to do with food? Beer is food, so pipe down and listen.

During my years as an undergrad, a common problem plagued me and many of my beermates: how can we attend a school football game and still drink beer, at the same time? Forget the idea of sneaking in hard liquor — we were beer drinkers, by God, and we were not going to be cheapened to imbibing from hollowed-out binoculars or a shoe flask! How droll! Beer, dammit!

So, as we sat ’round the glow of the dorm room TV, a senior sat down and told us of how he had heard of one group of students not only successfully sneaking beer into a football game, but an entire keg!

“Horse hockey!” blurted one of us, or some equally repulsive phrase involving an animal and something gross. “How did they get it past the security?”

“Simple,” replied the senior. “They bought it a ticket.”

Our eyes widened, our mouths drooled and our grips tightened on our Milwaukee’s Best as we listened to this unbelievable tale, during a commercial break from ST:TNG.

As the story goes, these students took it upon themselves to buy an extra ticket to the football game in question. It so-happened to be an incredibly cold night for a game, which was very important to the overall plan. This ticket was indeed for the beer keg, but it had to be disguised. How would someone be allowed into a game and not have to actually hand a ticket to the ticket taker?

The answer was simple: dear decrepit, ailing, freezing, oxygen-deprived and wheelchair-bound Grandpa.

The plan was devilishly simple. Take a quarter keg and seat it on a typical wheelchair. Dress the keg in a heavy winter coat and blankets, and add some stuffed trousers for good measure (old men wear trousers, not pants. Dungarees would work just as well.) In the jacket sleeves: sleeves of cups, of course.

Grandpa’s face is freezing, too, so bundle that up with a scarf and an oxygen mask … attached to an actual tank. However, said tank does not contain O². Instead, it is actually attached to the quarter keg and contains CO². That’s right, you don’t even need to pump the keg!

There’s a bonus to this plan. Because you have a wheelchair-bound spectator, you get the prime, obstruction-free seating.

This story has lived on for decades, and I’ve yet to hear of a true instance of this plan being put into play; it is but mere legend. I’m unable to find a flaw with it, other than I never tried it myself because I was always too much of a wuss to attempt it. But why? Who would bother an ailing, napping old man coming to see his grandson play a game on a bitter winter night? No one other than an evil, uncaring jackass, that’s who!

Got a better story than this? Let’s hear it. Even better, if you can pull this off on video and send it off to us exclusively, I’ll figure out some prize to send you — a bunch of DVDs, whatever.

I now bring you back to your regularly scheduled fancy-chmancy food posts….

Lucky for me, I’m an adventurous type when it comes to beers. So when I saw this weirdly labeled beer called “Shock Top” in my brother’s fridge, I thought “screw it” and gave it a shot.

First of all, let’s talk about the label. Look closely and you’ll see that the mohawked head is actually an orange wedge, as in the fruit. They give him shades and a mohawk so you feel cooler drinking it. What you don’t see in that image, though, is some small print on how you’re supposed to drink this beer:

The beer is best enjoyed in a tall, wide-mouthed glass. To serve the brew perfectly, follow these pouring guidelines. Pour the brew down the side of the glass until about one-half inch of brew is left in the bottle. Lay the bottle on its side and roll it gently back and forth, mixing the remaining yeast that has settled at the bottom. Pour the rest of the brew, producing a nice, thick collar of foam.

Who am I to argue? If I was going to give this beer a fair review, I had to follow the directions, right?

So, I’m carefully pouring this beer into a glass — a beer that has yet to prove it deserves such particular care, mind you — and making sure I don’t pour that last 1/2 inch of it out. And as I take the next step, rolling the bottle to and fro, everyone at the party is looking at me, thinking a) what an asshole, and b) how many more of these beers is he going to bother with this routine (spoiler alert: the answer is zero).

I poured the last 1/2 inch into the glass, and sure enough, it develops a “collar of foam” on the top of the beer … which dissipated within about ten seconds. For those who avoided my spoiler alert earlier, here’s the outcome: I will never do this ridiculous ritual again.

Now, the taste. The label is a good indication of what you get — a Belgian wheat ale, with a pretty strong orange flavor and scent in there. Again, as the label hints at, this is definitely a summer beer, one you can easily put down when you’re out in the heat of the day. I enjoyed drinking one of these, but when I was finished I knew I wasn’t interested in another; I really can’t put my finger on why.

So, Eric, if you’re reading this: stock back up on some Sammys or even those LandSharks we talked about you getting. Thanks for the Shock Top, but they’re all yours, buddy.

I’d heard of Land Shark beer before, but for some reason it didn’t dawn on me until this past weekend, when I tried a bottle, that it donned the Margaritaville™ Brewing Co. label — Jimmy Buffett’s company. What’s more, it’s clearly a direct competitor to Corona. Looks like someone had a bad breakup.

The real question: how do the two beers stack up to one another? Seeing as there was a supply of Corona, nearby, chilled and ready to go, I was determined to find out.

First of all, let me say that I believe there’s always a time for a Corona … or at least a Corona-like beer. Sure, it’s on the light side, which is something I usually don’t care for, but I guess you could say Corona is a state of mind thing. You’ve got to drink it right from the bottle. Squeeze a wedge of lime in there, and you could be in the New Hampshire mountains in February and still imagine you’re on a tropical island. Other people I know would just call it skunk piss.

Land Shark fits the Corona-like beer bill perfectly. Actually, it fits it better than perfectly, because it is much better. Let’s not get into how they look or smell, or what size head they give when you pour them; they’re the same, and who really cares? It’s the taste that matters, and Land Shark has something to it that gives it several notches above Corona.

For one thing, Land Shark has a sweetness to it that’s not found in Corona, though it’s not at all overpowering — just enough to make it stand out; the flavor is akin to artificial lemon (I know, “how … appetizing,” but it works.) Both beers seem to use the same kind of hops, so there’s definitely that familiar flavor there. There’s also something about a Corona that, after a couple, seems to dry out my mouth, so of course that leads to needing something to quench my thirst … another Corona! Not so with Land Shark, though I wanted another just because it was much tastier.

My Parrothead membership may have expired, but I’ll still reach for a Land Shark Lager if I’m in the mood for wasting away in Margaritaville for a little while.

… or vice versa. Either way, I can’t seem to eat enough cherries when they’re in season. Strangely enough, I used to think that I didn’t like cherries. Then, I moved into a house with a backyard that could only be described as an orchard, with three cherry trees, each a different variety.

The biggest tree is a black cherry tree. It’s also the first one to bloom and the first one to ripen. There are so many cherries, most of them go to ruin and it’s just a shame, but we also give away a ton (to whoever wants to brave climbing up the giant ladder to pick them!), and eat as many as we can. This year I also made an awesome strawberry/black cherry compote, the recipe for which I will soon post that, combined with pancakes, was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever eaten in my life.

We also have a sour cherry tree, which I still haven’t really gotten into very much. They are, after all, sour. The worst thing about them, though, is that the majority of the cherries on this tree are made into live-in pantries for tiny worms. I don’t know why it is that the sour cherry tree is the only one that is infested year after year, but I think it might have something to do with the fact that they’re the last to ripen.

But the one that really turned me into a hardcore cherry addict is our relatively tiny Rainier cherry tree. I didn’t know what they were called until maybe last year, but for the most part, I didn’t care because I was too busy shoveling them into my mouth. If you’ve never had a Rainier cherry, you are missing out. When they are perfectly ripe, they look almost pinkish-red on one side, and the other is a creamy yellow color, as is the flesh inside.

The flavor and texture of Rainier cherries is unbeatable. While black cherries are sugary-sweet and a little on the soft side, Rainier cherries are a little more firm and chock full of cherry-berry flavor, with a wonderful tart note. It’s strange, because they have one of the highest sugar contents out of all the varieties of cherries. After my dear husband took the time to pick over a gallon and a half of cherries off the tree, I can’t tell you how many times I passed by the gigantic bowl of them that we kept on the dining room table, and found myself in a cherry coma ten minutes later.

After doing a little bit of research, I realized that for those of you in the States, Rainier cherries haven’t even come into season yet! Do yourself a favor at the end of this month or the beginning of July and check to see if your local fancy-dancy grocery store is carrying them, because whatever they cost, it will be worth it.

In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, I’m not super-comfortable in the kitchen. In fact, one of the reasons I started writing for CliqueClack Food is because I had a baby and wanted to become more comfortable so I could feed my family well. So it should come to no surprise that I don’t really have a ton of my own recipes. In fact, when I decided to write this post so Cate would  have something to do with her potatoes, it was the first time I ever actually wrote out a recipe.

All of that is a very long-winded way of saying that the recipe I’m about to publish is really just a guide. Play around with the amounts to suit your taste. For instance, I don’t completely loathe mayonnaise like Debbie does, but I’m not a huge fan of it, so I put in as little as possible. You may want more. You would be wrong, but hey. To each their own. If you’re brave (and awesome) enough, you could even up the mustard quotient– which is something I would actually recommend.

This potato salad is super-simple, and can generally be made with things hanging out in your refrigerator.

• 5 lb. bag of red potatoes
• 6 hard-boiled eggs
• 3 celery stalks
• 1/2 cup of mayonnaise (I like the Kraft olive oil mayo)
• 1/3 cup yellow mustard
• 1/3 cup pickle juice
• 6 pickle spears (Claussen Kosher Dill spears)
• 1 tsp. white pepper
• 1 tsp. paprika
• salt and pepper to taste

Cut the potatoes in half, keep the skins on and boil them up. In a separate pan, boil your eggs. While your potatoes and eggs are boiling, slice your celery and chop up the pickle spears. Drain the potatoes and cut them into bite-sized pieces and put them in a large bowl.Chop up five of the eggs, leaving one aside.

While they’re still hot, add your celery and pickles. Add the mayo, stir everything up, add the mustard and stir it again. Put in your 5 chopped eggs, then add the pickle juice and stir it up a third time. Add the salt, black pepper and white pepper, and stir it all up a final time. take the 6th egg, slice it and place on top of the potato salad. Sprinkle the paprika over the entire dish.

The key to the whole dish is the pickles, which is why I use Claussen. They’re just the best-thhands down. I HATE potato salad that tastes sweet, hence the focus on the pickles and mustard. The pickles also take the place of the onions that most people seem fond of putting in potato salads.

Some folks are also kind of confused by the fact that I put eggs in my potato salad. I honestly started doing that because my mom puts them in hers, and I just got used to it. It’s definitely still potato salad, and not egg salad, but the eggs are nice because they add a different texture, not to mention some protein. Overall, the recipe is a little weird, very simple, and people seem to dig it.

Country Ale is one of my favorite go-to beers. It’s a medium-bodied pale ale, maybe a tad on the lighter side, and has a taste that subtly stands out on its own. I’d describe the taste as buttery with some caramel, maybe a hint of some fruit but nothing I’d say that makes this a fruity beer. It’s really easy to put down a few of these on or after a hot summer day, which is why this is a perfect beer to bring up now, before those months fully are upon us. There’s just something about an ice cold Country Ale that makes me yearn for it when there’s none of it occupying the beer fridge.

Personally, I don’t care for “summer ales” that a lot of breweries put out. They’re a bit too fruity and are usually wheat beers, which I don’t care for at all. Wachusett is a great alternative that can be enjoyed year-round. It goes down well with just about any food too.

A few times a year, the greatest beer/wine/liquor/cigar/hot sauce shop in Central Massachusetts, Julio’s Liquors, holds a beer festival. For two dollars, which is donated to a local cause, you get a glass and a tabbed bracelet which allows you to sample about ten different beers from 40-50 different national and local breweries. Two dollars!

Some of the beers on-hand aren’t even available to the general public, and when you live in the state that headquarters the Boston Beer Company (Sam Adams), Harpoon and a few other notables, you’re going to be trying some special stuff.

Here are a few of the beers I sampled last weekend, along with a few thoughts on each:

Dogfish Head Brewery: 90-Minute IPA
This IPA tsted different than what I’m used to. It was on the light side as far as the hoppiness goes, but that’s not to say it wasn’t tasty.

Shipyard Brewery: India Pale Ale
This was more what I’m used to and what I dig when I drink an IPA. Extra hoppy and gives that IPA-like bite. If you don’t like IPAs that are hoppy, stay away.

Harpoon Brewery: Leviathan Quad
How did I know know about the Leviathan line of Harpoon beers? Holy awesome! Remember when I talked about Michelob’s attempt at making “good” beers with their Porter and the like? Well, Harpoon is taking that move up a notch, offering a line of beers that kicks ass over what they already offer. The Quad is an incredible Belgian-style beer that carries a womping 12% APV! This is not your grampa’s Harpoon. And who’d have thought Harpoon would do a Belgian?

High & Mighty Brewing Co.: Two-Headed Beast; Sono Distrutto
From one great beer to the next. I’d never heard of this brewery nor its uniquely named beers. The description on the Beast had me at “raw cacao.” An incredibly flavorful, chocolately stout that impressed me right away. So much so that I had to have another of this brewery’s beers, the Sono, which must be quite new, as it’s not on the website yet. The Sono Distrutto is like drinking an iced espresso, so I was in beer heaven. I wasn’t sure if this beer was going to put me to sleep or slap me awake; it was that espresso-y.

So, those are the stand-out beers from this season’s Julio’s adventure. I would have added a special Sam Adams beer to the list if I could read my illegible notes at that table visit, but I do remember it was a beer that hadn’t yet made it to distribution yet. And that is why it’s so great to have Boston Beer Company in your backyard.

I was browsing the frozen foods isle of my local Whole Foods Market yesterday and I was naturally driven to the ice cream section. What can I say? I love ice cream. Doesn’t everyone love ice cream? Every time I crack open a fresh pint of the stuff I thank the powers that be that I’m not lactose intolerant. Frankly, those lactaid ice creams just don’t come in the exotic flavors that draw my attention. For example, yesterday I was drawn to a Pinot Noir flavored sorbet made by Wine Cellar Sorbets in Brooklyn. My curiosity got the best of me, beating my common sense into submission, and I had to buy it.

I was excited to try it, though in the back of my head, I was afraid it was going to be gross. I mean, really, I’ve never found myself drinking a nice glass of red wine, thinking: “Gee, this would make a great frozen treat!” I was also nervous because it was a sweet sorbet, with plenty of sugar added to the wine. I’ve never been a fan of sweet wine, so I was concerned about this, but, again, my curiosity could not be denied.

After dinner I pulled the pint of sorbet from the freezer and pulled it open, eager to see if my fears would be confirmed. I dipped my spoon in and took a big taste. I was surprised that it tasted so much like wine, but it was just too sweet for me. Perhaps with some other food it would have been better. If I had some nice dark chocolate to go with it, it might have really worked. The carton itself recommends serving it with cheesecake.

To be fair, I should mention that I was discussing this with a friend, and she said there she and her family tried the same sorbet and loved it. Perhaps the preconceived notions were playing with my head, but I don’t think that’s the case. I like to believe I’m a little more open minded than that. I really think I would have liked the sorbet much better if it were less sweet. They also offer a sangria flavored sorbet (along with many others), that I think I may like better, as sangria is sweetened.

Have you tried anything like this before? What did you think?

I’ve already mentioned before that I love porters, and up there with them I’d add brown ales. Ellie’s is what I’d call the perfect brown ale. It has that roasty, nutty, chocolaty taste that I love so much, with a (shocker!) deep brown color. The head isn’t quite as large as the one pictured, but it was decent … if you care about that sort of thing.

Sometimes, with these darker ales, you’ll get a nasty, bitter aftertaste with a mouthful of grassy hops. It tastes like you were downing a brew at an outdoor beer festival, then tripped and did a face-plant in a pile of grass clippings; believe me, I know — long story. Ellie’s has none of that aftertaste and is a complete pleasure to drink.

The only downside to Ellie’s is that it doesn’t go down very well with food. It’s a bit on the heavy side, and the flavors are so strong that it sort of cancels out the flavors of what you’re eating. If you’re going to have this with a meal, it’d be best with something on the spicy side, in my opinion.

Now, getting to why this beer was fitting for me this week. Ellie’s is named in honor of the Avery Brewery owner’s dog, who passed away in 2002. We lost our dog of 12 years just last week, so I admire that Avery was able to honor his faithful companion in naming a great beer after her. Though I won’t be able to name my own beer after our dog, he’ll always be remembered here in the McDuffee household, whether or not I’m hoisting up a pint of Guinness in remembrance … for Guinness was his name.

Back in my early days of beer drinking, like many other poor college students, I tried to keep it cheap. There were the usual ultra-cheap beers like Milwaukee’s Best and Natural Light. Then there were what we considered, at the time, “premium” beers, like Michelob and Miller Genuine Draft. Hey, I was a beer newbie — give me a break. In any case, I’m no stranger to the tastes of these beers.

Michelob has been trying to squeeze their name into the microbrew-like arena with a relatively new line of beers with varying styles. Unlike other breweries, Michelob has decided to tack their name firmly onto each bottle because, really, who are these breweries trying to fool?

This new line of beers includes types such as Porter, Pale Ale, Honey Lager, Irish Red, AmberBock and Dunkel Weisse. As I’ve said before, I’m a big fan of porters, so I decided this is what I had to try first from these offerings.

Right off the bat, I was surprised that this beer didn’t simply outright suck at first or even second sip. It really did carry the characteristics of most typical porters, with a rich dark color and coffee aroma. About halfway through a bottle, I was thinking that Michelob really did it — they were able to proudly attach their name to a beer that I could reach for and not think, “aw man, what am I, still in college?”

However, by the time I finished the glass, I figured out what was wrong; well, wrong for me, at least. Although the beer carried the traditional elements of a porter, it was somehow also able to retain the characteristics of an age-old Michelob. At first I thought this was all in my head, but I really don’t think so. Underneath those yummy porter flavors there was that cheapy Michelob taste, lurking. It wasn’t until you thought, “hey, this beer is good,” that the Michelob flavor came out and tapped your taste buds on their shoulders, whispering, “remember me? Those late Thursday nights burping in sorority girls’ faces? It’s me, ol’ buddy. I’m back.”

Now, this isn’t all to say that this beer is bad. I stand behind the fact that Michelob has done a decent job of making what many consider a low-brow beer into something tolerable by some snobs. However, I would not put it above any other porters I’ve ever had, except maybe that it’s more affordable. Your mileage may vary.

As part of my parrothead heritage, I got to learning Jimmy’s own “ultimate margarita” recipe. If you grab the “Boats, Beaches Bars & Ballads” box set, the booklet within has this recipe in it. What follows is pretty much that recipe, with some relatively minor changes. And I will say that it is, indeed, the finest margarita I’ve ever tasted.

This recipe makes either two decent-sized drinks or three smallish ones. Using a cocktail shaker, add the following in this order:

• 1.5 cups of ice cubes
• 2 shots top-shelf tequila (I recommend Jose Cuervo 1800 or Patrón Añejo)
• 1 shot silver tequila (I recommend Jose Cuervo Silver)
• 1 shot triple sec (doesn’t matter — the cheapest stuff is just fine)
• 2 shots Key West Lime Juice (I recommend Nellie & Joe’s brand)
• 2 splashes of Grand Marnier.
• 2 lime wedges (squeeze slightly into shaker before tossing both right in whole)
• 1-3 beach chairs

Add ingredients in that order to a cocktail shaker (minus chairs). Shake very well. Pour equal amounts into each glass, along with the ice (and limes, if they want one). Place chair in a sunny spot in your lawn, snow or living room. Repeat as needed.

At least in Massachusetts, Jumping Cow can be found in most Trader Joes’ stores that have a beer license. It’s a great bargain at under $6 for a six-pack. Trader Joe’s has a bad rap when it comes to beer, but they usually have a very decent, yet small collection of brews that are extremely affordable without making you reach for beer-flavored water in a can.

You might have heard of some of Steinhaus‘s other beers, like Fat Weasel, which Trader Joe’s often sells as well (though I don’t think I’ve tried yet).

I love amber ales, right above the good pale ales, and Jumping Cow definitely doesn’t disappoint. It’s lighter than something that you’d get from Sam Adams, but not as light as any pale ale I’ve ever had. Pours with a decent head and goes down with a smooth finish. The taste is on the caramel side, with a lot of flavor and hops for an amber ale, which I really dig. The beer goes well with food as well.

This one happens to be one of Deb’s favorite beers of all time, and I can’t really blame her. While I wouldn’t call it one of my all-time faves, as often as we take trips to TJ’s, we’ll likely have at least a sixer of this in the fridge at some point every month.

… so reads the saying on each bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale. OK, Brew Review over — they’ve said all that needs to be said. Well, almost.

I picked up a 22-ounce bomber of the Arrogant Bastard, since a) it has a damned cool name with a motto on it I can salute, and b) it’s hard to avoid the bottle with the horned, winged demon staring at you with eyes that are saying to your soul: “you don’t deserve me, you foolish ball of worthless flesh and bones, but you will buy me, whether it’s with the coin in your pockets or your pitiful soul!” After calling for cleanup in aisle three of my puddle of fear-induced pee, I bought a bottle (with money!) and took it home.

I totally perfer beers lacking “multi-millon dollar ad campaigns,” so I don’t think the Arrogant Bastard saying applies to me. However, this ale (which is considered an American strong ale) is definitely something special. The taste that hit me right away was “fruity,” sweet and definitely hoppy with a citrus taste (probably why I considered it fruity). Don’t let the label’s wording or the image of Satan on the bottle throw you too much — this beer has a taste of its own, but it’s not likely to smack you in the mouth if you’re not too experienced in different beers, much like how I consider Belgian beers hit me the first time I tried them.

If you’re into the bold taste of hops in a beer and like something on the moderate-to-strong side, you’ll do yourself a disservice in not giving this beer a try. RateBeer gives Arrogant Bastard a worthy 98/100 rating. Come on, you know you want to tell someone you bought/tried an “Arrogant Bastard!” Share it with someone more worthy of the rest of the 22-ounce bottle if you need to — I’m free most Friday nights.

We know we’re in the minority, and that we’re lucky we can still enjoy a sushi dinner with our son — although it was very hard to share at first! I guess it’s a good thing he’s old enough to get his own order now.

In case you love a good sushi dinner, but your kids think it’s gross, you could try a few things to get them excited about the prospect of trying sushi:

I loved the tips from Phillip Yi, an experienced sushi chef.  From making sure the kids get chopsticks to some menu suggestions sure to please, this article is a must-read if you’re craving some sushi and you’ve got no place to dump the kids.

To me, one of the easiest ways to get kids to eat something is to show them what’s in it. This can start at the farm, when they get to see how vegetables grow, or it can be making sushi at home with your kids so they get hands-on into the process. They’ll see the seaweed, the rice and you can even let them choose what fillings they want in their sushi rolls. Ah, the power of autonomy….

Oh, and a word to the Minx who doesn’t believe that kids belong in a sushi restaurant? You haven’t met mine. There’s a big difference in dragging children out to a place they don’t want to be, and bringing a refined, yet small, dinner companion out for an evening of commonly enjoyed food. I agree that kids should never be running around any restaurant (even McDonald’s, though my kid’s never been in one of those), but if they have been exposed to and have an appreciation for the food and have been taught proper table manners then kids have a right to eat wherever they like.